Transitions + Constants

I told you I was going to start writing more about what's going on with me in the present. I'll get back to recipes and workouts soon. But here's some of what I promised. A look inside my head.

Whenever I take a look around and feel like my world is falling apart, there's usually some transition to blame. It happened when I left home to go to college. That August, I refused to return my parents' messages on my dorm room answering machine.

I was transitioning into a more independent young adult, and I was a bratty, emotional wreck.

Years later, I broke up with my first long-time boyfriend. Or, rather, he broke up with me in what I now refer to as the infamous "Summer of Darkness". Honestly, the trauma of it all caused a type of selective memory. That's right: I can't even remember much of that summer. Read: Things I fell apart. I got depressed and would fall asleep around 7 PM each day. I'd cry and think exceedingly negative thoughts. How could life go on?

A while later, I graduated from college and was immediately thrust into the working world.


That transition was particularly tumultuous because getting a job was is HARD. And that was before the real problems with the economy. I applied to over 70 positions -- desk, retail, dining, etc. alike -- and tried desperately to stay in the college town I loved while using my degree in Writing. Didn't work out, so I moved back to my hometown and was subsequently sucked into an temporary void.


After 8 months of long-distance dating (yup -- another transitional time), Stephen and I moved in together a year before getting married when I finally landed a job in Ithaca. I'd always imagined living with the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with would be bliss. Instead, we learned a lot more about one another in that year . . . and there were many, many ups and downs, spats and tears.

I could list more (life is nothing but a state of constant change, right?), but I'll skip ahead: Having a baby, now toddler, and leaving a full-time desk job to stay home.


This time around, I am not sad or angry. These situations are things I chose for myself, for my family. And there has been much more joy and good. Still, I am finding my way, my role, my place in all of it. It's entailed struggle. The stuff you've been reading about for the past year.

Add to that helping Ada through her multiple transitions as well. It gets difficult. Every day something is new or different. Challenging.

I suppose I imagined that getting older would magically make these transitions easier. That the experience I've gained with the many changes in my life would help me land gently into the new instead of crashing down into the thick of it. I learned over the past year that -- though I am certainly wiser -- transitions and their enormity change over time. Yes, I may know better ways to deal with and understand them, but the nature of the beast is the same.

Which gets me to something positive and productive: Constants. There were times throughout all of these events and situations when I had people or places or things pull me up, help me out, and put things into perspective.

What do I mean? Basic stuff. Things like diet and exercise and writing are constants for me.


Constants are the types of things I have relative control over, things that have the ability to lift my spirits and heal me whether physically or emotionally. Of course, this control can be taken too far, but for the purpose of this conversation, I mean things we choose to have in our lives for good, that are always there, and that we feel our happiest and healthiest by doing habitually.

For me, eating well and moving my body has helped me in many ways process my new roles. Writing has helped me express my feelings related to it all. It isn't always easy, but I have promised myself that continuing to keep these things in my life, I can find solace in the occasional frequent insanity.

When I have a bad day, I can definitely get overwhelmed and negative . . . hell, I have entire weeks like that, even. But if I can continue to hold onto the good in my life, the things that make me feel my best and bring out the best in me, I can usually see things differently. I can continue healthy habits, and I can even hold onto ME in the process.

Yeah. The people I meet, the situations in my life, and the other external influences are all things I cannot control. And yet that brings to mind another big constant: ME. Who I am. Though I'm always changing (I mean LOOK at me a few years ago!), I am always here for me. I just need to take the time to recognize it.


Looking back on all of these crazy times in my life, I can't help but see the good in all of it. Really, seeing the good is something I'm trying to do more and more each day -- a lesson I've learned through much practice, I'll tell you. The power of positivity should never be diminished.

There was a lot of heartache and difficulty, but I am a much stronger person. I can see a wider range of what people around me go through, what they feel. I know that the same will hold true for my most recent transitions and those many more that will inevitably come in time.

Oh, and that breakup with my crappy boyfriend was seriously one of the best things that ever happened to me.

What are some constants in your life? Those things that have helped you through transitions? (I can get carried away in my longer writing. I may not be using terminology perfectly in this instance, but "constant" is what seems to best express what I mean in this moment.)

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Savings Abound: Our New-To-Us Tent

And the savings just continue today on (never home)maker! Stephen and I love the mountains. We love the ocean. We love hiking. We love campfires. We love traveling. We love being outdoors! Naturally, camping is something we want to start doing a whole lot more of now that summer is near. In fact, we've already planned a four-night camping excursion for July on the coast of Maine.

Problem is: We didn't have a tent until very recently. I'm a bit of a camping princess. Not in the not wanting to get dirty part, though. I just like to have options. For example, if it decides to rain over the 4th of July (that's when we'll be in ME), I don't want to be stuck sitting in a soggy, tiny tent with a low ceiling. Plus, with all this money-saving going on, we wanted to purchase a tent that would work well even when we had kids someday. All this criteria led us to a cabin-style shelter.

I enlisted help from my Twitter friends for suggestions. And boy did we get a lot of them! Jessica, ultimately, was the person who suggested we seek out Eureka for a high-quality, water-resistant tents. They were a little pricey for the kind we wanted, though. (Like, $330 expensive, as in this particular model.) So, we waited. We went home to visit my family in PA one weekend . . . and something magical happened.


I was leafing through the local newspaper when I saw a small add for a sale IN OUR CITY for Eureka tents. I didn't even know we had a store in the area. Anyway, the sale was at the end of the week, and attendees could save anywhere from 10% to 40% off. It was meant to be, really. But would they have the kind of tent we wanted?

We had no clue.


When we got there, the place was packed. There were a variety of tents -- mostly smaller ones. But, then we saw it. The exact tent we had been eying on Amazon.com (well, almost -- it was REALLY close to it). It sleeps 6 to 8 people. It's ceiling height is around 7 feet. It has a front screened room (to suit my lust for variety of spaces). But there were all these notes on it like A-grade, B-grade, and C-grade. We had no clue what all this meant. After a quick chat with a salesperson, we discovered that A meant brand-new, B meant very gently used (only inside, never outside), and C meant used.



Who on this earth would want a used tent? Something a family had camped in for years and years. Rife with fleas. Or covered in deer urine. I don't know -- my mind goes weird places. Well, just open your hearts and minds, people! Used -- as we found out -- didn't mean quite what it sounds like. The tent, to be sold again, could only have been used for up to 30 days. So, there was a chance that the C-grade tent we decided to buy was basically new. And the price went from around $380 (the tent at the store was slightly different than the one we found online) to more like $180. After a discount, we got it for $165!


I'm bragging, I know. But what's the moral of this story? Be open to used items. We don't always need something brand new. Especially if it's just going to get dirty anyway! We swiftly returned home from Eureka with our (heavy) tent box and set it up that night (we wanted to make sure everything was in working order). I bet you're wondering if the tent was dirty. And, to be completely honest, it was just slightly. But hardly anything to be worried about. There was a leaf in the bag. Big deal. What we found when we set it up is that it worked perfectly. Anything that was "wrong" with it had been refurbished by the folks at Eureka prior to resell.



And now we have this gigantic tent for only a fraction of its original price! Do you have a story where you fell into a deal like we did? Where the stars magically aligned in your favor? Do you have any camping tips for us? Or anything else you'd like to share on this topic? Just leave us a comment or email us at neverhomemaker@gmail.com.


ALSO check out this month's Blog Love Fest. It's a special edition because we're not only sharing the links in a list this month. We're creating a categorized blogLOVEroll. For all the gooey details, just visit the BLF post.

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Three Cheers for Cheap Gear: Part I

Those of you who follow us on Twitter know we have a new cross-training buddy: our Spinner Sport Spin Bike. What we didn't tell you is that we scored this baby for under its Amazon price (which, if you're in the market for a spin bike, you know you can't really beat their prices/free shipping). Not only that, but we also supported a local business in the process. Smiles all around!

First: Why did we choose a spin bike? As I mentioned above, cross-training is definitely the primary reason. We also were considering starting up (yet another) a gym membership. However, the gyms in our area leave much (MUCH) to be desired. So, we took some time to examine exactly what we like about gym memberships -- again, mostly cross-training opportunities with spinning, yoga, and free weights -- and started researching a bit.

After I injured myself during the Philadelphia Marathon last fall, I was unable to run for over a month. We joined a gym, and I took to the bike. I was pleased to find spinning a challenging workout -- even when I chose to do it on my own (not being yelled at by a fitness instructor). My fitness level stayed stable, and I even gained some speed -- PRing at a 10K in January despite a slick layer of snow. Yeah, indoor cycling gets my heart rate up into the good zone, and I sweat like a pig. No joke.

So, in short: We wanted a spinning bike because it offers us excellent cross-training -- as well as a safeguard in case one of us becomes injured in our primary sport, running. And, at least for me, the bike gives us a low-impact speed training buddy.

Step back, though. We're runners. So, when it comes to equipment for at-home gymin' it, a treadmill is something we certainly want to purchase eventually (despite how hardcore we are about running in negative temps and snowicanes, sometimes we just can't run outside in the climate). We have heard from our friends with kids that when you have little ones, it's hard to get in your run unless you can stay put. One small problem -- a "good" treadmill (that can handle Stephen's speed) is expensive. And I'm not hiding a baby bump, so we don't need to worry about all that just yet.

So, we also went with the bike because of its relative affordability and for its practical application in our lives today, not tomorrow. We found this particular bike, the Spinner Sport, on Amazon -- and it got rave reviews. But we made sure to do our homework before whipping out the plastic to hastily purchase. In fact, we gave ourselves the weekend to think about it.

Then on Saturday morning, we hit up our local athletic supply store (it was the first time we'd even been in there). And -- wouldn't you know it -- the exact bike we'd set our sights on was sitting on the showroom floor. With a $499 price tag (same as Amazon). Best yet, we got to hop on it for a test ride.

• Foremost, I was impressed by the bike's stability. Home models (versus the fancy, pricey) can be wobbly and just feel cheap, for lack of a better description. Not this one, even in the standing spinning position, this thing is rock solid. 
• It also has a water bottle and holder (many of the more expensive models didn't, and I go through gallons of water while riding). This "feature" may seem silly, but it was one of my checklist items.
• It's extremely portable -- just roll and go. 
• It's not too terribly heavy (which may sound like a contradiction, like it isn't solid, but please see above, where I write about how stable this baby is!).
• Did I mention it was selling at the Amazon price? Yeah, that was attractive at the time of purchase, too.

And on, and on, and on. Back to the deal we got. Like I said, the price tag said $499, but since I had done my homework, I told the salesman that I could get it somewhere else for that exact price, where it was new, still in the box (the one at the store was also new, but out on the floor). He said he could lob off $25 -- which essentially covers tax, and we took a few moments to think. We ultimately decided to take it because it was already assembled, no shipping, tax was covered by his discount. Yeah, we are pretty thrilled with the bargain!

If you figure it all out over the course of a year, we're each "paying" a $20 gym membership in order to pay off this bike. Might not sound like we're getting all the benefits -- but if you factor in the number of days we simply didn't make the effort to cart our butts to the gym, we know we have made the right choice. And if you're looking for other ways to bring your workout home, while also saving money, check out this guest post from a few weeks ago.


And later this week, we'll show you all the tent we bought a few weeks ago that was originally nearly $400. And we snagged it up for less than $175! Camping the coast of Maine on the cheap-itty, cheap, cheap, here we come!

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