My Self-Care List + 10 year challenge

Back when Eden was clusterfeeding almost always, I felt like I had absolutely zero time to myself. My patience was wearing thin. I was starting to feel absolutely crazy. The advantage I have had this time around was that I truly know the tiny baby stage doesn't last forever. I had a lot of trouble with Ada because she was my first . . . and then with Eloise because I had forgotten so much.

Regardless, I whined a lot on Instagram to pass the time. And some of you guys sent me the sweetest and most helpful messages. One person, in particular, gave me an idea that I have been using ever since. She told me that I needed to make a list of self-care things to do so that when I DID get a spare moment -- I wouldn't use up precious time figuring out what to do with myself (or -- worse -- just mess around on my iPhone).

Her approach is genius. Make a list of things you can do that take, say, an hour. And another list of things that take just 10 or 15 minutes. (Because we know that free time comes at a premium -- and it often is given out in short bursts.) Now that Eden is a bit older and taking bottles, I've also included a few things I do if I get several hours to myself on a weekend.

I thought I'd share my list with you today. To keep it brief, I chose my four favorite things for each category. But before I get to the list, I thought I'd share my 10-year challenge with you. My first photo from Facebook is actually from 13 years ago (!!!) and then 5 minutes ago.

HOUR SELF-CARE

• Long walk -- I consider running (30 minutes or so 5 days a week) just part of life, so it's not self-care.  A long walk can be really restorative. I'll often stop and get a warm drink along the way and listen to an audiobook.
• Long shower (I don't do baths) + play with my stash of bath + beauty products.
• Baking -- Solo time in the kitchen to go at a bread or brownie recipe I've been eyeing.
• Journal -- I have a Breathe planner I bought this year that's more than just simple to-do lists. I like to spend time thinking/writing in there. And -- yes -- it is something I can spend an entire hour doing.

QUICK SELF-CARE

• Shorter shower -- better than no shower...
• Quickie YouTube yoga or barre session
• Quickie YouTube guided meditation (with ear plugs in, if necessary!)
• Light a candle and just sit quietly in a dark room (I'm big on silence -- I crave it)

OTHER SELF-CARE

• Bookstore outing to browse with a warm drink for a couple hours
• Studio yoga class (I've worked this in once a week now) 
• Drink with a few friends after bedtime (I stay local -- 5 minutes away -- in case of random wakeups from any of the kids)
• Longer afternoon out -- either going to lunch and a movie OR recently Stephen encouraged me to take a day trip to visit one of my best friends in Ithaca. (Remember how I love quiet? My favorite part of that trip was the hour drive to/from where I didn't listen to anything but silence!)

I feel fortunate that my husband is so willing to care for all three kids so I can get out. That sounds weird to say because he's just as much a parent as I am. But I think you know what I mean. We trade off so that we each get time on our own (and it isn't always easy with three different sets of needs to care for), but he's been prioritizing my time in these early months. It doesn't go unnoticed. 

It's also been very helpful that we started bottles just before six weeks. I waited longer with the other two and they never really took to them. If I could go back and do one thing differently from the start of becoming a mom, it would be to do bottles sooner.

Anyway, I'd love to hear what your favorite self-care activities are. 

Share them in the comments!

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Day in the Life // One Month + Three Kids

Happy one month to Eden Rhys! I'm over four weeks in and still have very little idea how to manage everything. Instead, I feel like I've been along for the ride.

Here's a loose schedule of what my days are looking like lately.

7 AM -- Ada and Eloise wake up. Stephen heats up some instant oatmeal for them

7:15 AM -- Stephen leaves for work and I rush around getting any last-minute stuff for school (Ada) and preschool (Tuesdays/Thursdays for Eloise)

7:45 AM -- I tend to get Eden up for the day at this time unless she's already awake herself. Gives me time to change and nurse her before Ada gets on the bus. Also gives me time to get her ready if we're driving to preschool.

8 AM -- Ada's off to school

8:30 AM -- We're either home and I'm picking up the living room and kitchen or we're off to preschool and I'm running errands. This is where I sometimes and regretful that I signed Eloise up for anything. On one hand, it gives her something special to do when it would otherwise be difficult for me to take her places with the baby. On the other hand, it messes with the schedule and I don't really get much time out of it for myself. Oh, if we are home, I've been trying to prep dinner during this time. And by prep dinner, I mean toss a bunch of stuff in the crock pot.

9 AM -- Eden is taking her longest nap of the day. Hopefully. She naps really well for Stephen and not so much for me. But if all is good, she'll sleep 2 hours in her nursery in the MamaRoo while I check in on the video monitor. Eloise and I retreat to the basement to play.

11 AM -- Nurse Eden while Eloise watches TV. We hang out in the living room and I make Eloise a quick lunch. Usually a sandwich (PBJ or grilled cheese) and something quick for myself.

(((On preschool days, we leave the house around 11:15 to pick up Eloise.)))

12 PM -- Noon or so when it's about time for Eden to go down for another nap. Sometimes -- depending on the day -- this is later, more like 12:30. I love when this happens because I MIGHT have the opportunity for the girls to take simultaneous naps.

1 PM -- I take Eloise upstairs, we read a couple books and sing a couple songs. Then I cross my fingers that she'll nap. She's been OK about it lately, but we did hit a pretty bad patch in the last couple weeks where the nap was maybe 45 minutes to an hour at most. With a new nightlight, she'll tend to stay upstairs closer to two hours.

By the way: If I got the girls taking naps at the same time . . . I do absolutely nothing productive. I celebrate the small wins, right?

2-2:30 PM -- Eden wakes up somewhere in here and I nurse her. Then we hang out and wait for Eloise to wake.

3 PM -- Yay! Cross country season is over! Stephen can actually get home as early as 3 PM. Sometimes he'll stay and do his run after school. Other times, he'll come home right away and let me pass off the baby so I can get in a run. I've been sticking to just 3 miles until I have my 6-week appointment next week. It feels great to get out even in the cold weather.

4 PM -- Ada gets home from school. If I had gone running, Stephen will go out and get in his sweat session. I go through Ada's blue folder and school bag. I pack her lunch for the next day at this time. Eden may be sleeping around now. And Eloise is usually happy to play with Play Doh or paint.

5 PM -- Dinner for the girls. And lately for us. Generally, Stephen and I actually prefer to give the girls dinner earlier than we eat ourselves, but you'll see how our night shakes out and why this isn't necessarily working.

6 PM -- Family time. We've been enjoying fires in the fireplace. And generally hanging together. I'll be fully honest and say that this is the most chaotic time of the day. Ada and Eloise may be fighting. We may be trying to parent and having it not work very well. The baby is typically very cranky during this time. There's sometimes cluster feeding in here. I hate when that happens and may be crying a bit. There are baths in there some nights, too. Basically 6-7 is really hard right now.

7 PM -- Head to bed. We go upstairs with Ada and Eloise. Brush teeth. Read books (Stephen does Eloise, I do Ada with the baby, who is usually screaming). The goal is bedtime by around 7:30.

7:45 PM -- Usually feed Eden YET AGAIN. It drives me absolutely batty. But I know this period is relatively short, so I'm trying to stay cool about it. Right now we're having Eden sleep the first portion of the night in her MamaRoo in the living room while Stephen hangs/sleeps nearby. She had been doing a patter of four hours of sleep, three hours, and then another 2-3 hours. A couple nights ago she did a six-hour stretch! And then a seven-hour stretch the next night! Last night . . . it was a three-hour stretch. Sigh.

8 PM -- I go to bed upstairs. I have trouble sleeping with the baby in our room because of the constant noise. So, I head upstairs and try to get in as much sleep as I can. This is when Stephen and I used to eat dinner and talk. We haven't really had much time for that lately. Hopefully getting into a better nighttime routine within the next month that involves Eden sleeping upstairs in her nursery.

Feeding has generally been around midnight and then 4AM

So, that's the craziness that is life right now over here. Like I said, I crave routine and patterns . . . so the newborn days are hard for me. I'm looking forward to getting more and more into a schedule soon. Do any of you follow anything that works generally well for you? I know it's controversial, but a loose Babywise schedule actually did work well for us with Eloise. It was mostly the Eat, Play, Sleep pattern of it.

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Typical Day in the Life // Feeling Spent

I have to pause my planned content to share with you all that I am absolutely spent. Our lives seriously went from zero to 60 in a second flat, and I’m still gasping for air. There are times I wonder if I’m just deficient as a person. Am I lazy? Unmotivated? I see so many super moms getting everything done and looking good while doing it. Their kids are clean, well-fed, and they just seem to have it all together. I know images can be deceiving, though.

Regardless, we went from the luxury of all being home during the summer with really no plans (and I had scads of time to work uninterrupted during normal working hours) to being here, there, and everywhere. This schedule is our new normal, so we’ve got to get used to it somehow. I’ve never been a coffee drinker, but I’m learning.

// WEEKDAYS 

5:30 AM: Alarm goes off.

I immediately stretch to wake my body up and tiptoe downstairs to work on the computer. Working these days is writing for Healthline. I write clinical and lifestyle pieces of a variety of health topics. I love this job because the pieces have to be longish, well researched, and then reviewed by a medical professional. Anyway, today, I wrote an article about nyctophobia or fear of the night/dark. Sometimes I feel like I’ve written 1,500 words before I’ve woken up . . . as if I was in some weird zombie-like state.

On days I don’t have work, I try to get out and run ASAP. PS: I HATE running in the morning. I feel sluggish and tired . . . and I’ve just always been an evening runner by preference. But I’d rather run than not run, and this is often when I get the time. It’s just random which weeks I have lots of work, which weeks I don’t, and which it’s a mix. I have toyed with getting up at 5:00 AM, but I need to first get used to 5:30 and possibly shifting my bedtime. Sleep is weird these days, but I’ll explain that more later.

6:45-7:00 AM: Ada is usually waking up during this time. 

I try to get as much done as I can by 7 before I start turning the focus on her. We pick out her outfit, get dressed, brush hair, eat breakfast, pack her lunch, and I also just like to spend a bit of time with her before she’s gone from 8AM - 4PM each day. While she was done during this time slot last year as well, I still haven’t gotten used to seeing her so little during the week.

7:15 AM: Stephen leaves for work. Though last week he was leaving closer to 6:45.


7:30-7:45 AM: Eloise wakes for the day somewhere in this window. I get her up, changed, dressed, and give her a bit of a snack before we rush outside to wait for the bus.

8:00 9:00 AM: Bus leaves at 8:04. Eloise and I go inside to eat our breakfast together. 

She’s a slow eater and I also try to get stuff done while she’s in the high chair. I don’t think she’s actually in there for an hour, but it seems like we’re always done with breakfast/etc. by around 9AM.

9:00 - 10:00 AM: Run errands/get groceries/etc. 

Usually I need to run to the post office to ship out something for Poshmark, or I try to get us to the library to check out a few books. We’ll have a library reading hour coming up later in the month on Thursdays. If there’s nothing specific we need to get done in a day, we’ll take a walk or clean up the house a bit or just play. I may try going back to once-a-month grocery shopping to cut out the need to hit the store each week.


10:00 - 12:00 PM: Nap . . . I laugh. 

Eloise was consistently napping for two hours during this time. Now? Not so much. Something’s been going on lately with sleep (and I know these things go in cycles, so I’m not freaking out). She’s waking many times throughout the nights. Morning and afternoon naps are crap or amazing, and switching to just one nap was a disaster. So, we’re in a transition. As I type this it’s 11:15 and she’s waking up. I can’t complain. She slept for over an hour. It’s just hard to do what I would like and/or need to do.

Because usually during this time I would be able to finish freelance work or write for the blog or list items for Poshmark. If I wasn’t doing that stuff, I’d try to sneak in my workout for the day. Now, it’s a free-for-all, get as much done before she wakes. And usually when she wakes, she’s quite cranky. This, too, shall pass.

12:00 - 1:00 PM: Lunch time. 

Again, she’s not always in the high chair for this long, but I try to cook or clean while she’s eating and maybe watching some Daniel Tiger. I eat, too. I should do a post on the meals we eat most frequently. I feel like I cover dinner, but not breakfasts and lunches as much.

1:00 - 3:00 PM: This is a random slot of time. 

Sometimes this shifts if Eloise didn’t nap in the morning. Sometimes my parents come up during the week from PA to visit. Other times, I’ll have a play-date or friend-date scheduled. Other times, more errands and/or cleaning, which is proving futile with a toddler running around and climbing the dining room table.

I’m keeping it loose because I know once we go down to one nap that this is probably when she’ll be sleeping. Oh, this is also the slot of time that’s best to try to go to the children’s museum. We have a membership and it opens too late to go in the morning.

3:00 - 4:00 PM: Eloise attempts an afternoon nap. 

I try to get a breath, check emails, and just sit for like half an hour before Ada gets home. Occasionally I will have to finish more work from earlier if naps got in the way of finishing for a deadline.


3:45 PM: Ada’s home from school. 

I spend as much time with her alone as possible before Eloise wakes up. Then we all play together for an hour or so before dinner.

5:00 PM: I start/finish dinner. 

Ada is usually watching television in the living room (we originally got rid of the TV in this space, but it’s been helpful -- I’ll write more sometime). Stephen gets home anywhere between 5:15 and 6:00 PM. It’s much better during XC season than track season. With track, he has frequent meets during the week and may be home as late as 9PM sometimes.

It’s hard to plan family dinner as a result. Also: On Tuesdays we have gymnastics at 5PM. We have family dinner maybe 2-3 times during the work week. Otherwise, the girls eat and Stephen and I eat after bedtime. I resist signing up for too many activities for Ada’s sake (overtired) and my own sanity. I think one class is enough at this age. In a couple years we may add something like piano lessons.

6:00 - 7:00 PM: Daddy + daughter time.

Generally this is my only real guaranteed hour off for the day. The rest is a crap-shoot despite hot organized it may seem. Nothing ever really goes as planned, so I’m often scrambling.

Stephen spends time with both girls during this hour playing outside, taking a walk, or hanging in the living room playing guitar while they run around. I run if I didn’t have other time to exercise during the day. Sometimes we all take a walk together, get ice cream, or do something else as a family. Sometimes the house is such a disaster that I spend the whole time speed-cleaning.

7:00 - 7:30 PM: Baths, stories, bedtime. 

I think I’d like to start prepping for the next day more during this time slot. It’d make the mornings easier to pack lunch, set out clothes for school, etc.

7:30 - 8:00 PM: Stephen puts Ada to bed. I nurse Eloise to sleep.

8:00 - 10:00 PM: Adult time.

Stephen and I eat dinner if we didn’t have family dinner. We watch television, chat, or just generally zone out. Both of us are usually spent by this time of day. So, while I’d like to become more mindful of screen time and spending quality time together -- getting used to this routine is kicking my butt. So, if that means I watch YouTube, so be it!

10:30 PM: Lights out.

I try to get to bed by this time each night. But I’m finding that I’m very tired with how little Eloise is sleeping. I may try shifting this back to 10PM.

// WEEKENDS

This schedule is much the same on Saturdays, as Stephen is away at meets. But Ada is home all day, so any of the nap times are spent with her doing crafts, reading books, playing outdoors, going to birthday parties, or watching movies. We pick up our farm share several towns away, and this is a nice morning activity. Stephen leaves before 7AM and gets home between 3PM and 6PM from meets. There are a few that are away where he’ll be gone one or two nights as well. I have a goal to go to some of the home meets with the girls.

I’ll be honest that having a frantic week schedule and then waking up on Saturdays to solo parent again can be frustrating. I am thankful that Stephen has taken on additional responsibilities/gigs to make this WAHM thing work. It means I can take on slightly less work than I used to, which is essential now with two kids . . . no relatives who live nearby for child care and no real guaranteed work time.

Sundays we try to do basically nothing. Or just something very low key. On weekends, Stephen and I try to give each other some solo time to go out. We’ll take turns going to the movies (we both want to see IT this weekend). Or maybe seeing a friend, etc.

// Thoughts

So, that’s my typical day-in-the life. I am sure I am missing something or haven’t completely described a time slot . . . but I think you get it. I don’t feel like our days are any more busy than anyone else’s.

But I’ll be honest that sometimes I wish I could either just be a SAHM or a working mom. WAHM isn’t necessarily the best of both worlds. It’s just another world. With staying at home and not working, I feel like I could get a better handle on my household and have more focus -- be more present in what I am doing versus always feeling so frenzied. With working, I feel like I could focus better on my job tasks and carve out more sanity by feeling better organized.

What I’ve discovered through chatting with friends, though, is that there’s really no perfect life. We all do the best we can. And even those moms who seem to have it all together are struggling just as much as the rest of us!

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Minimalism // Mother's Day Gifts

I see a lot of Mother's Day gift lists popping up across the blogosphere. Seeing as we're trying our best to resist STUFF these days, I thought I'd offer a some alternatives. This is a gift list for mamas who don't want more things cluttering up their spaces. These are somewhat practical or simply sentimental ideas, and I hope you enjoy them!

// 1: Fresh flowers.

They always do the trick. I plucked these guys off the gigantic bushes we have growing in our backyard. Of course, you can always check out your local florist, too.

// 2: Alone time. 

Stephen took the girls to dinner last night while I stayed home and painted. It was a glorious 45 minutes of solitude at home that I realized I hadn't had in months. As an introvert, I'd be totally content spending several days by myself. But I won't exactly get that luxury until Eloise is weaned (working on it) and -- well -- I don't really see it happening anytime soon!

So, I'm hoping to get a bit of a longer stretch for Mother's Day this year. I didn't even need to DO anything to enjoy it either. If I get several hours by myself, I'll spend it exercising, taking a long shower (I'm not a bath person), and probably just basking in the silence.

// 3: Nerd stuff. 

My gift this year is actually the Ancestry DNA test. No joke! This isn't sponsored either. I've wanted it for ages -- you guys know how I feel about genealogy. I should be receiving the test in a week or so. Then I'll provide a saliva sample and get my results back in six to eight weeks. It's definitely not instant gratification, but it will surely be interesting.

I'll be sure to do a review on this test when I get it. Has anyone tried it? What did you think? I have always been brought up to believe I'm very much German and English, maybe some Welsh. Should be interesting to see the breakdown! 

// 4: Family time.

I know I drone on and on about our schedule woes these days. I mean, it's simply draining to wake up Saturday after Saturday and not be able to spend time together. So, getting everyone piled in the van and going to a park or playground or even just staying home for a quiet morning in sounds glorious. To make this one more gift-y, consider making a schedule of events.

Ours might be:

• Wake up slowly
• Homemade brunch
• Take a walk around the neighborhood
• Visit the story garden
• Backyard game time while Eloise naps 

// 5: Chocolate. And wine. Etc.

The good stuff. And not a box of chocolate or wine. Go pick up the most delicious, decedent chocolate bar and the most special bottle of wine you can find. If your mom (or you) isn't in to these things, cater the search to whatever she likes.

Heck, I'd love a Starbucks gift card!

// 6. Event tickets.

Send your mom (or yourself) to see Hamilton. J/K. Right? We WISH. But you know. I'd love to see the local philharmonic, but I have trouble dropping the bones it'll take to get me a seat. RENT is coming to town this weekend, and I'd love to see that (again -- saw the original cast on Broadway way back). Even if it's just a ticket to a movie -- it's super fun and something that'll make her feel pampered and special.

PS: How cute is this shirt?

// 7: Fitness/club stuff. 

I'd love to get even a temporary membership to a local yoga studio. A class or three would be pretty cool. So, if your mom is into spinning or Barre or something, consider giving her a few studio classes. If she's not one to head to the gym or studio, maybe get her a few supplies for working out. Like this swanky water bottle or this BarreAmped Workout DVD.

// 8: Or something else.

Or maybe your mom is like me and wants to refinish her dining room table. Buy her the chalk paint and supplies. Maybe she wants a Braverman backyard this summer. Get her some string lights to illuminate it or a sweet patio umbrella. A newer mama might want a ring sling for the upcoming summer months. You know your mom best. Try to keep it somewhat practical, and you'll avoid the whole random-trinket-on-a-shelf situation.


HAPPY FRIDAY!

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Running: 6 Reasons I Don't Race Anymore

Many of you have told me you started reading this blog back when Stephen and I were running all the time. You loved the running and racing tips and tricks I used to write. There are definitely a good number of posts on here dedicated to the novice and even advanced runner. (I didn't write those advanced ones -- Stephen did!) Regardless, some of you have asked over the years why the running part of the blog is somewhat quiet.

And, really, I suppose I haven't addressed it directly. Or maybe I have and just don't remember. In short: We had kids, so there's that. And Stephen started coaching both cross country and track for his high school. That takes a lot of time during the week and on weekends when we used to be training. Do we still run? Heck yes. But -- and I can only speak for myself here -- I have many reasons why I've stopped racing in formal events.

1.) Cost

First and foremost, we have a family now (did you know? LOL). You guys know how much I write about our budget. With adding little ones and choosing to work from home, we've taken a financial hit. Not in a way where we cannot afford basic necessities. But running can be an expensive hobby, as much as we'd like to pretend it isn't.

There's the shoes. I only get like two pairs a year, but Stephen needs more because he wears his out quickly. (BTW: I wearing these Nike Free Distance shoes lately -- they are probably my favorite shoe I've ever had. If you're interested, let me know and I'll do a review of them for you!)

Racing is -- yup -- yet another cost. In fact, this morning I got slightly inspired to run the local half marathon. Mostly because it would give me an excuse to run 13 miles next weekend. But it's $80. Not the most expensive. But I immediately thought about how that could buy two takeout meals at our favorite restaurant. Or a week's worth of groceries at Aldi. And if you don't think running impacts your grocery bill, I don't know what to say. We eat a lot if we're training high mileage.

2.) Time

I hate to use my kids as an excuse, but you simply have less time with a family versus being single. I know moms who get up at 5AM and work out. Or who work out late. I get up at 5AM to work these days, so that's out. (Working from home with just one child is a piece of cake. Two or more? Nightmare. I'll write more about this soon.) I often work after the kids go to bed. I can jog with the stroller (here's how to start), but it's much harder so I only do it a few times a week. And with Stephen gone so much, our family time is at a premium.

Time is one reason I've put the marathon training on hold for the time being. I started it up when we weren't in a coaching season. Sunday long runs were awesome. Now that I'm alone with the kids almost Monday through Saturday, Sundays have become sacred. We both still run, but I'm less inclined to go over 10 miles. And I'm OK with that. I actually love feeling energized on the weekends. When I used to do back-to-back 10- and 20-milers, I'd need to basically lay on the couch a lot.

I guess as a sub-reason, races aren't the most convenient things either. With nursing, I'd have to pump. I don't like pumping and Eloise doesn't take bottles. I also don't think my kids want to be dragged to events. Maybe ever so often, but not weekly or several times a month.

3.) Flexibility

There's something beautiful about shedding the rigidity of a training plan. It makes you feel so much less guilty for missing runs if you're sick, injured, or whatever else. It lends to a more balanced life. Of course, having a bit more discipline would probably have me a bit trimmer and fitter -- but I'm favoring moderation in all things these days.

If the weather is really crappy -- whatever. I'll run later in the week. If I'm just not feeling it, I'll take an hour-long restorative walk. Or do yoga. Or go see a friend. The thing I'm not doing is fretting about missing my miles because I've got a race coming up. I remember trying to trudge through with bronchitis to meet my weekly mileage and getting even sicker as a result. Or feeling really cruddy because my legs were like dead weights. I know that pain is change, but I'd rather just feel good, be active, and be slightly less bad-ass.

4.) Desire

Yeah. My actual desire to run races has certainly waned. I was never one to do them to collect race swag or metals or shirts. Honestly, I have never really enjoyed the act of racing. It was more of a compulsion to get better times. That's OK. It doesn't make me any less of a runner. There's a certain thrill that comes with achieving a new milestone, like a half or full marathon. I've been there and done that. It doesn't thrill me anymore, so the desire to chase that feeling isn't there as much.

I think it's awesome when other people do events and I can tell they are getting a huge emotional boost out of it. I could take or leave that feeling. Of course, it's nice to feel like you've DONE something. But I ran two half marathons in March on my own (well, with my buddy -- but we weren't in an organized race) and still felt pretty awesome.

5.) Motivation

I guess this goes with motivation, too. I'm not motivated with my running to achieve a PR right now. I would like to get faster, but in the years before we had Eloise, my fitness took a dramatic turn. Having multiple miscarriages can really do a number on the body. I kept active throughout it all, but with being pregnant, not, having surgery, etc. -- my race times just aren't what they used to be. You'd think that would give me more motivation to "get back" . . . but it doesn't.

I'm cool with chugging along between 8:45 and 10 minutes per mile, depending on the distance and hill factor. Maybe this summer I'll find myself doing some repeats on a track. Maybe not. I think my motivation these days is much more mental. I get a lot out of just logging the miles and taking the time for myself.

6.) Zen stuff, etc.

Which brings me to being a Zen runner. I won't lie -- I do track my times lately. It's more about tracking my total steps (more on this soon!). I would say in the past, though, I more often than not did not wear a watch on my runs. I would rather map out the distance in Google maps ahead of time and finish. I get so much from just doing the run. I don't really care so much about the stats. Sometimes I do. You know how it is.

Running is my happy place. I do it to do it. I do me. You do you. But if you don't want to race, that doesn't mean you're not a "real" runner or nonsense like that.

* * * * * * * * 

Anyway, the biggest and best reward for all my years of running came this weekend. (This is about the photo above.) Totally unprompted, Ada came up to me as I was lacing my shoes and asked if she could go running with me. She got all dressed and we ran a mile together in a little under twelve and a half minutes. The whole time, I could tell she was so proud of herself. We finished, she gave me a high five and was just BEAMING with excitement to tell Stephen all about it.

And that's all I really need!

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What's inside my minimalist diaper bag?

Hey, guys! Over the weekend, I shared on my Instagram that I have become a diaper backpack convert. It frees up both hands. It's easy on your back. These are important things for mamas, am I right?

Here's more about what I carry in my diaper bag.


I talk more about it in the video -- but my approach used to be ridiculously minimalist. Almost to a fault. I literally carried a single diaper and a couple wipes in my purse. Now I carry the items I need, nothing extra.

If you're interested in my bag, I bought it from the Etsy shop called UrbanPath. This shop features Huipil backpacks, bags, and other items straight from Guatemala. They remind me of the bags you can buy for a much higher price by Nena + Co. You can also find similar bags on Amazon that will ship to you via Prime ASAP (though I cannot find a backpack on there!).

What's in my bag:

• Periea -- Bag Organizer Insert
• Planet Wise -- Small Wet Bag (Jelly Jubilee)
• Planet Wise -- Zipper Sandwich Bag (Jelly Jubilee)
• Booginhead -- Zipper Bib
• Re-Play -- Recycled Utensils
• Aden + Anais -- Muslin Swaddle Blanket
• Folding Hair Brush + Mirror
• Babyganics -- Mineral-Based Sunscreen Stick
• Babyganics -- Alcohol-Free Foaming Hand Sanitizer
• HABA -- Wooden Rattle/Clutching Toy
• Klean Kanteen -- Kid 12-Ounce Water Bottle
• ECOHip -- Reusable Grocery Bags
• Thrive -- Travel First Aid Kit
• Huggies -- Wipes Clutch
• Burt's Bees -- Peppermint Lip Balm (the BEST!)
• Shea Moisture -- Frankincense + Myrrh Lotion
• Extra change of clothing for Eloise
• Bonnet by Sweet as April
• Bag of activities for Ada (paper, markers, jar of play-doh)
• Wallet, phone, keys, etc.

So, what do you think? Is this minimalist or not? It's definitely more than I used to carry -- but I feel like I do end up using it all when we go out to eat, for example. With the warmer weather coming up, I see long trips to the park in our future. I'll definitely need that first aid kit!

What do you carry in your diaper bag? Or do you choose not to carry one?

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My Motherhood Journey

BlogHer has given me the opportunity today to write about motherhood as part of a campaign with First Response. I have taken so many First Response pregnancy tests since we started TTC #2, it’s sort of silly. I think the person at the drug store knows me by name at this point. Regardless, I am a super-user of their products, and it’s the test that gave me my positives with our angel baby.

So, I’m happy to share this post with you.

Four years ago, I would sit alone in my quiet house holding my growing belly and dream about what being a mom might be like. That first “Mother’s Day” I didn’t know if I was having a boy or a girl. I had no idea what labor would feel like. I hadn’t even cracked a breastfeeding or parenting book. Still, I knew this new direction my life was taking would be a big change, and I welcomed it.


My first real Mother’s Day? I remember traveling to visit family in my hometown and feeling absolutely exhausted. Ada was just six months old and still feeding every couple hours. We had to stop on the side of the road on the way down to deal with crankiness and a blowout. Our nights were still segmented by crying and diaper changes at this stage. One thing was for sure: My life had definitely changed. I was still in a survival mode of sorts, but that love and bond with my daughter was getting stronger each day.

I felt more seasoned in my status as a mom by the next year. We’d been through a lot of milestones. Rolling over, sitting up, eating solid foods, crawling, walking, talking, and more. I mean, I was a pro at this stuff. Right? Whatever toddlerhood wanted to throw at me, I’d figure it out. Life was at least somewhat more predictable with an 18-month-old. Several naps had gone down to just one. My little buddy enjoyed going out to story times and meeting new friends. I also finally felt like myself physically and -- most importantly -- mentally again.


Gratitude was the theme of Mother’s Day last year. Ada was still healing from her surgery, and it took us a long time to heal as a family from everything we had gone through. I just remember spending the day quietly thanking whatever powers had watched over us and kept Ada healthy. For her doctors, nurses, as well as our friends and family. The selflessness aspect of being a mom really hit me in particular.

I knew in my core that I would do absolutely anything to see my daughter happy and thriving, and I had certainly been put to the test.


In 2015, I celebrate Mother’s Day with a new badge. I would have been around 16 weeks pregnant with our second child. I remember looking at the calendar shortly after my positive test. I thought about the wonderful surprise it would be to find out the baby’s sex around this fitting holiday and share it with family. I will forever hold a special place in my mind for that sweet soul who was with us for only a short while. No, I may not be a mother to two, but my heart did grow enough space at the mere thought of it.

What I’ve learned throughout my time as a mother is that life has major ups and downs. It’s messy and chaotic and beautiful and bright and -- yes -- sometimes tragic. Motherhood is everything I ever imagined it would be . . . as well as a whole lot of stuff I never conceived in my head. No matter how trying my experience might be at any given time, my favorite moment of the day is creeping into Ada’s bedroom at night to see her sleeping peacefully.


Whether you're trying to conceive or already have, First Response trusted technology helps you understand your body throughout every stage of your pregnancy journey. First Response is the #1 selling pregnancy test kit brand that can give you accurate answers to one of life's biggest questions sooner than any other pregnancy test kit brand. First Response ovulation tests increase your chances of getting pregnant sooner by determining your most important fertile days, then enhances pleasure and comfort while trying to conceive with Pre-Seed fertility friendly lubricant. And now there are two First Response delicious vitamin supplements, designed to provide the nutrients you need throughout every step of your pregnancy journey. To learn more, visit www.firstresponse.com.

Now’s your chance to celebrate with a $100 VISA gift card. To enter for a chance to win, tell me in the comments section below: When did you first know you were a mom?

Be sure to visit the First Response brand page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ posts!

Entry Instructions:

No duplicate comments.

You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:

1. Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post
2. Tweet (public message) about this promotion; including exactly the following unique term in your tweet message: “#SweepstakesEntry”; and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post
3. Blog about this promotion, including a disclosure that you are receiving a sweepstakes entry in exchange for writing the blog post, and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post
4. For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.
This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older (or nineteen (19) years of age or older in Alabama and Nebraska). Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. The notification email will come directly from BlogHer via the sweeps@blogher email address. You will have 2 business days to respond; otherwise a new winner will be selected.

The Official Rules are available here.

This sweepstakes runs from 5/4/2015 – 6/15/2015

Be sure to visit the First Response brand page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ posts!

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Last Week in Running + Fitting It In

I had all these grand plans for training really hard for the upcoming Boilermaker 15K. We've been so busy with various things, from house projects to family obligations, that I've just been running where I can fit it in. Not only that, we're getting into my least favorite season for exercising outdoors.

Excuses, excuses.

M: 9.3 mile long run at 8:25/mile average pace
T: 3.5 mile shakeout run, not timed
W: Yoga for 1 hour at gym
R: Off
F: 3.1 mile jog, not timed
S: 3.1 mile progressive run (8:10, 7:50, 7:30)
S: 6 mile stroller run at 8:30/mile

TOTAL: 25 miles. But that 9.3 should have happened on the Sunday of the previous week. So, yeah. I need to get back to serious training if I want to meet my 1:40 half marathon goal for the fall.

You read that right, I didn't do much cross-training either. After a grand post about my at-home spinning routine, I skipped my cycling workout to rest. Grrr.

• I feel good that I am actually getting out there most days and moving myself. 
• I feel bad that it's not for longer distances or more challenging workouts. 
• I feel good that I'm living a healthy balance and actually enjoying my workouts. 
• I feel bad that I might be stalling my progress toward a major goal by being lazy.

Now that I'm a mom (yup -- the mom-card), things really are different with training + racing. I always knew they would be, it was just a matter of to what extent. How much time would the baby take away from my running? Or, rather, how much time would I take away from running to focus on other things?

For example, I see/know some moms training for marathons, Ironmans, etc. -- and I think, WOW. That's incredible. On the other hand, I think -- WOW. That's absolutely insane. I'd rather do other things with all that time.

Right? I'm not sure all the time. I waver. Toggle between cool-with-it and feeling like I'm just lazy.


What I do know.

• I don't have the desire to completely fill up my weekends with running events. I'd rather focus on family time, me time, and getting things that need to be done . . . done.
• I don't have the desire to wake up early on weekends to get in key training runs; I get up early enough during the week (5:30) to start my work while Ada's still sleeping. I don't deserve a medal, but if Ada sleeps past 7:30 on a Saturday, I'd like to as well.
• I have a bigger social life now that "our" friends have encompassed Ada's friends, too. Instead of planning a day around working out, I'm finding myself squeaking in runs before/in-between/after birthday parties, picnics, and other play-dates. That stuff is important.
• Sometimes being at home with a toddler all day long is great and other times, not. Some nights I'd rather use my free hour to get out + see friends. Or watch TV. Or get my hair cut.
• And my free time is limited unlike before. As in, finite. I only get so much, so if I do feel like doing something instead of working up a sweat, that's it.

Again, I hate making the excuses. So, instead of fitting in key workouts, I'm finding I'm fitting in working out in general. Period. Mom or not, I'm sure you can relate. We all have periods of life that just push our priorities elsewhere. I'm OK with that. I just can't be surprised when I don't do well at a race. I can't mope when I'm not knocking minutes off PR-times.

What I am committed to:

• Working out 4-5 days a week. Even if it's just Jillian's Ripped in 30 + a short jog. Which I started last night. My butt hurts. I ran two miles after the video and almost cried died.
• Keeping my comfortable long run distance 10 miles. This way, I can easily jump to the 15K or half marathon serious training if need be.
• Cross-training. I WILL get in my spinning workout this week.
• Doing some type of speed-play with my running, whether it's intervals or what. I need to get my legs moving fast.
• Signing up for a 5K. As a reality check. It might help motivate me back into hard-core training if my time isn't so great. We'll see.

Moms + other busy runners of the world (that's everyone, right?): How do you fit in your training?

Do you have a similar experience of wanting to train hard but having life just get in the way?  I know it can be done, but I think balance is always good -- and when there's a lot to balance, everything has to give a little.

Do I just lack discipline? Maybe!

Like what you just read? Browse more of our posts + recipes on Pinterest. You can subscribe to the feed of these posts or follow us on Twitter or Facebook to be the first to know what the (never home)makers are up to. And we’ll love you forever!

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Mommy Runner: Part I

If you are into my sappy side, you can read some of my thoughts on Ada turning one. Yes. I'm in hyper-reflection mode this week. Fittingly, I have been thinking quite a bit about my running over the past year.

Along with all the milestones and major events related to my role as "mommy" -- one of my proudest accomplishments is continuing my running through the good times and bad. At first, I wasn't sure how it would go -- juggling everything with a newborn, that is. Sure, there have been several interests and activities I've had to put on the back burner (learning to sew, anyone?).

The fact is: Ada's turning one, but I've nurtured my internal running buddy for over 10 years.

When I think of it that way, it becomes clear to me why I couldn't let that particular relationship slip. Running is a huge part of me. My identity as a mother is the most important -- chief of all. However, without attention to the other things that make me who I am, I'd be lost.

Running at 5 weeks . . .

. . . and 52 weeks!


Here are 5 reasons I love being a mommy runner!

#1: My mental health. I've had a rocky year. I'm sure many first-time parents can likely relate. Sometimes the only way I could get peace of mind was to head out and put one foot in front of the other. I'm the type of person who gets paralyzed when I'm stressed out, so making myself get outside, breathe fresh air, and move my body helps more than anything else. 

#2: Obviously my physical health benefits from continued running. My body didn't respond to breastfeeding by losing weight. Actually, I think I held onto a good five pounds. I was just reading an article in Shape that declared one of the best ways to lose weight after baby is breastfeeding. I laughed out loud. And then cried a bit -- just kidding. This magic weight loss "rule"  is NOT true for everyone, even when you live a healthy and active lifestyle.

#3: I get time -- ME-time. I know I've complained about not getting enough time to indulge my interests. In reality, that's a rare luxury that not many moms (or PEOPLE, for that matter) can enjoy. When all else fails, I know I have at least half an hour each day when I can get out of the house by myself. If it's a particularly bad day, maybe that half hour is only 20 minutes. Whatever. But at least if I run, I know I get to take a shower too.

#4: I already mentioned it above: Running is a huge part of my identity. It's one of the first things I decided to do for myself as an adult. As you all know, I left my desk job this year to work at home and stay home with Ada. Sometimes it's isolating and confusing changing roles so drastically. But just as I was always much more than a marketing coordinator or administrative assistant in my "old" life, so too am I more than just a mom and writer.

#5: Talk about isolating. My social life has also benefited greatly from continued participation in the running community. I don't get out much during the week because Ada's napping is weird and I'm working when she's sleeping anyway. But on weekends, I try my best to make it to group runs and chat with my buddies. Races mean we need to get someone to watch Ada, which is good practice for other things, like DATE nights. (We need more of those this year -- that's for sure!)

I also intended to share some tips on how I've fit running into my life. How Stephen and I both do, really. The way it works now isn't the way it used to when I had unlimited time and far less obligations. The post got way too long, so I'm saving that information for later in the week.

If you have any questions, I'd be happy to answer them, just leave a comment or email us at neverhomemaker [at] gmail [dot] com.

And if you're a mom (or dad) runner, what is the #1 reason you keep at it?

Like what you just read? You can subscribe to the feed of these posts or follow us on Twitter or Facebook to be the first to know what the (never home)makers are up to. And we’ll love you forever!

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