On Influences

Yesterday I had the pleasure of joining Ada's early kindergarten class on their field trip to the local zoo. After six weeks of almost steady rain showers, the weather has finally cleared and warmed up. I got there a bit late to accommodate Eloise's morning nap and -- after a short jog through half the park -- I finally met up with the kids at the bear exhibit.

Ada greeted me with a squeal and immediately rushed to kiss her baby sister. ("Hey, everyone! Look -- it's MY baby!") What struck me as we walked along the path gawking at peacocks, foxes, and pandas (zoos are weird for me) is that Ada's not just mine anymore. She'd often reach for the class aide's hand to show her something before looking in my direction. She'd eagerly call for her teacher to watch her to do gymnastics move on the playground after lunch as if I didn't exist. She'd even lock arms with her best friends, calling them by cute nicknames and sharing what seemed like budding personal jokes.

My first inclination was to feel slighted. After all, I had just rushed way across town only to sprint up a quarter mile hill pushing a jogging stroller (while wearing a dress!) to spend time with her. She should be looking at me, me, ME.

But I stopped myself sort of that emotion. Truth is, there are many people who are shaping the sweet girl that Ada is becoming. Long gone are those isolated infant days where it was just me . . . and her . . . for hours on end, week after week. I think back to those days often, as I'm currently in that stage with Eloise. It's hard. There's part of me that yearns to be outside this bubble. To drop my tiny one off at preschool and get some much-needed me-time. But this time is actually quite precious in how fleeting it is. I definitely see that now.

From here on out, the influences on Ada's life will only grow bigger in importance. They will help direct her interests and mold her into the woman she will one day become. They will have the power to encourage or even crush her. Stephen and I are definitely top of the list of these people -- there's no denying that. But they'll ever-increasingly be very close seconds.

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I got to thinking about influences today when I stumbled upon a news report that my chorus director from grades 5 through 12 has retired this year. I've mentioned on the blog that singing, festivals, and shows were a large part of my childhood. Mrs. Smithgall was always at the center of those performances and excursions. We pecked out notes and practiced rhythms to prepare for so many different concerts.

But it was, of course, more than just that. Singing taught me discipline. Performing gave me confidence. Auditioning for things humbled me. These things still carry me through life all these years later, though now I mostly sing along with my Hamilton CD in the car.

Add to this list my favorite English teacher. She's also retiring this year. I credit Mrs. Higham with more than simply sparking my love for writing. I'll be honest, she terrified me the first year I had her. Before stepping foot into her classroom, I had never really taken my studies seriously. Something compelled me to try honors English. But I would often not read our assigned chapters. I'd expend little effort on assignments. And my teacher would not stand for that sort of nonsense.

Quickly, I cleaned up my act . . . and it carried through to the rest of my classes, too. I went from getting like a 3.2 GPA to a 4.0. I learned that writing was more than some evil punishment. Essays can actually be fun to write. Words are art as much as paintings are photographs are. And -- yup -- I decided to study it in college and make a career of it.

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Then I think of Stephen. As a high school English teacher and coach for both cross country and track, he's an influence on far more lives than just the ones in our family. I don't necessarily give him that credit -- at least not like I should. We all influence people in our own ways. It's a difficult job. It sometimes requires long hours. Heck -- it's even a job we often don't realize we're doing if we haven't formalized it with a title.

I could go on, but I'll end my musings here. As I watched the footage of Mrs. Smithgall's last concert, I actually found myself feeling a bit sappy. I remembered the song the kids were singing in the finale quite well -- the "Rhythm of Life". Life surely has a rhythm of sorts, right? It's more than just a clever lyric. Our life's rhythm changes as we age. It picks up pace at times. It has wild crescendos at others. And it's definitely punctuated by the people we surround ourselves with. Take some time today, if you will, to listen back to your own mental track and pick out a few of those beats that have changed you.

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What to Expect When Your Child Goes to Kindergarten

A lot of my fellow 2011/2012 moms are currently filling out paperwork and visiting school open houses in preparation for next year's big move -- kindergarten. I've written about how we live in New York where the age cutoff is December 1. We went back and forth on exactly what to do with Ada.

• Delay preschool/school from the start (she was SO ready at age 3 for preschool!). 
• Another year of pre-K (not in the budget)? 
• Homeschool her for a year (with working from home + infant -- nope). 
• Put her in full kindergarten (I had misgivings due to the schedule, etc).

Looking back, I spent so much time worried about this topic.


When Ada went off to school full time in the fall, I experienced a wild mix of emotions. On one hand, I felt apprehensive about sending a four-year-old off on the bus each morning. I was thrilled she got into the early kindergarten program, somewhat delaying her entrance into the public school system by a year, while also not delaying it at all. (It's a unique offering in our district -- higher level than pre-K, but less demanding than K.) Still, it was a lot going from the summers together to not seeing her between the hours of 8AM and 4PM.

Slowly this routine has become the new normal. It's even worked out quite well now that we have baby sister at home. Ada loves her teacher. She loves her classmates. She loves her school. It's an awesome school. I can't say enough good things. We moved when she was just two specifically to get into this district out of all the districts in our area. When it comes to school, I was just like her. Very eager to be around my friends, learn new things, and just be out in the world. So, while I miss her -- incredibly at times -- I am also happy to know she's happy.

I see it, too. She's different. She's been learning so much being away, being more independent. She's grown tremendously as a result. Sure, there are times when her sensitive nature get the best of her. I think that happens to any kid. But she's confident. She likes her thoughts to be heard -- to share her ever-growing knowledge of what the world is all about. It's exciting to see. It fills me (and Stephen) with a lot of pride. We made this kid, and she's turning out to be fantastically funny, bright, and empathetic.

(She can also read, write, and do all other kinds of nifty things, like mix primary colors to make new colors -- her favorite new project. I don't mean to diminish the academics in this discussion. I am blown away with everything she has learned in such a short time. But -- honestly -- so much of this first year is about the transition. The social and emotional aspects. Fostering confidence and all that jazz.)

But then there are these times when my heart aches beyond aching. She's been having issues with a boy on her bus who's taken to harassing her every. single. day. He even followed her around on the playground yesterday just to bug her. There have been times when I've seen her heart sink because she was so overly excited to tell a friend about, for example, her pierced ears . . . only to have the friend shrug and say effectively, "who cares?" This little bubble I so carefully put her in is slowly weakening. Every situation brings out this inner mama bear mode I didn't know I had.

And -- yes -- I think she'd still be napping two hours a day if she were home with me. She can get extremely tired on the long days, and I feel guilt because so many people I know still have their 2011 babies home. There are times when I hear some new word or phrase I may not want to hear. Or sometimes there's an issue I feel like she's not ready to confront, and I'll try to redirect. It's just a whole bunch of complex stuff . . . and I never quite know what questions the day will bring.

What wisdom can I share about being a new-ish mom to a school-aged kid? Like everything else in life, this is a totally new season. Get ready for it. Your child will probably have things about school that he loves and hates (Ada doesn't love P.E. and can get somewhat upset if it's that day -- like sick-to-stomach). There will also be times when you'll feel so crushed that she has to navigate the cold, scary world (errr, or playground) on her own. You'll likely be shocked at some of the stuff he has heard from other kids. You'll also likely be saddened when you pick up stuff about the lives of other kids that maybe don't have the most supportive home environments.

Most of all, though, you'll get through it. You'll somehow learn how to cope and help your kid with this new phase. I know some of you gals are probably worried. Or maybe you're excited. There's a lot to look forward to. Ada wears her school sweatshirt with pride. She knows people that I don't know. She sees teachers, staff, and friends out and about and gets super excited because she now has her own little world. Oh, that's another cool thing. There is now a whole group of people who care about your child. The teachers and helpers and other parents -- they all care so much. And you end up loving this new village.

When school starts, it starts. From there, everything keeps spinning -- sometimes at a dizzying pace -- and we just go with it. Time, unfortunately, isn't stopping anytime soon. If anything, it is moving faster than ever. Instead of resisting it, I eagerly await learning what each new day brings. I most look forward to that moment when my big girl gets off the bus each afternoon. It's certainly become the golden hour in our home.

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First Day

Ada's on the bus. She's officially in school. Tears. Hugs to all the first-time school mamas out there.

These next eight hours are going to be lonely!

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New Beginnings

Summer is drawing to an end, everyone. I mean, I know the date on the calendar might disagree . . . but my Facebook feed is full of back-to-school photos, pumpkin recipes, and more. I've been slowly collecting a new wardrobe of clothes (that actually fit my body) full of leggings, long-sleeved shirts, and sweaters. Over here, we're at t-minus one week till early kindergarten starts.

I'll miss our sunny mornings on the deck:

Some of you have been confused about Ada's grade in school. I'll clear it up. Our district offers what's called "primary sequence" where there's an early kindergarten, kindergarten, transitional first, and first grade. Where you start (and go) has to do with testing + preference. Since the NY state cutoff for school is December 1st, we really wanted to give Scorpio Ada an extra year before getting on with proper kindergarten. So, she's doing a full-day early kindergarten program that has many of the same goals as regular K -- just in a different configuration (think not sitting as long at desks, getting a bit more rest time, etc.). She'll do regular K next year.

We're really excited! I'm not so thrilled that (including bus time), she'll be gone from 8-4 every single day. Yeah. That kind of bums me out, actually. I'm trying to find the positives. She'll be in a great, invigorating environment with friends. She'll learn a lot. I'll have some one-on-one time with the baby. It'll be good. Keep repeating that, Ashley.

I haven't been in the mood to write much lately. Everything is about to change. Though transitions can be good -- it's all felt a bit overwhelming. I've started some freelancing again, and despite having trouble finding the time -- writing has been great. Ada has stopped napping. She would still happily nap two hours each day, but we had to wean her for school. Stephen will soon have his hectic teaching and coaching schedule on Mondays through Saturdays. And Eloise is in a constant state of transition for the foreseeable future.

Many days, I feel like I'm not accomplishing much at all because, well, I have been nursing every 1.5 to 2 hours. Other days, I feel like I have a grasp on what needs to get done. Like, I'll get all the laundry and dishes done along with writing an article and exercising. And then by night, everything is a disaster again. I know I should be present -- living in the moment. I try. But I am a person who craves order. As much as everyone starting school will be kind of awful . . . I am craving a bit more control when it comes to my own days. When it's just me an Eloise, I think we'll manage to get into some sort of rhythm that isn't possible with two other people around.

All of this is to say that I probably won't be writing a whole lot on this blog of mine until the second week of September. I want to soak in as much time left with Ada as possible. I also just have a lot of stuff I need to get done for this transition to go smoothly. And work assignments! (Hooray for paychecks coming in again!) I have also scheduled a few Hello Fresh boxes for September to help with dinners -- we'll need it.

Best of luck with all your new beginnings. Let's meet back here soon, OK? I don't have plans to stop blogging anytime soon, but I have seen a dramatic shift in what my readers want. For example, I started as a recipe blog. Though I don't post tons of recipes, the ones I do post get like very little attention. I want to know what you guys are interested in reading so it doesn't turn into a blog of my boring ramblings.

What are you most interested in reading about? Family stuff? Food stuff? Exercise stuff? My boring ramblings? Leave me a note in the comments!

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Back-to-School Style with JCPenney

I’ve mentioned it several times before, but Ada is starting universal pre-kindergarten this year. She’ll be in class for 2.5 hours each morning of the week. I honestly cannot believe we’re already enrolled in the public school system. It feels like a huge milestone.

BlogHer recently offered me the opportunity to check out JCPenney for back-to-school clothing. You guys, I had to share this with you. I have a special past with the store specifically in the fall season. I grew up in a small, remote mountain town. The nearest mall is around an hour away on winding back roads. But we had a few local shops for clothing as well as a JCPenney catalog store.

Each year before the start of school, my grandparents would generously offer to buy me new clothes to fit my ever-lengthening limbs. So, I’d leaf through the thick catalog and dream up outfits. I’d get all psyched up for school in the process. (And I’d get to do the same thing at Christmas with clothing and toys -- oh, how I’d look forward to that huge catalog.)

I’m sure you can imagine that as I shopped for Ada’s clothing I had a major flashback. This time, though, I was able to conveniently grab everything online. Heading to the store with an almost 4-year-old isn’t exactly my cup of tea. I easily clicked through all the options, Ada by my side, and we selected her school wardrobe together. I’m hoping it might be a tradition of sorts. It was fun seeing her express herself through style. Even at her young age, she definitely has likes and dislikes.

Here are a few outfits:


I was really impressed with the selection of quality clothing I was able to find on the site. (Her backpack is also so adorable when she’s not chewing the straps!) Ada is now in a 4T and even fitting some 5s! She’s a tall girl, that’s for sure. My favorite brands include Carters, Okie Dokie, Oshkosh B’gosh, and Levi’s. I tried to stick with clothing in a similar color palette so we can mix and match on busy mornings.

In my search, I noticed that JCPenney features a lot of cool trends including athleisure (casual + sporty clothing). This is particularly great for kids who play sports and engage in other active extracurriculars (or just hang around the playground). For example, I got Ada her first pair of "running tights” that also look adorable with a lot of her regular shirts.

I also see that the store carries a variety of dance and gymnastics clothing. That should come in handy since Ada is going to start either ballet or tap/jazz combo in September. Does your child wear a uniform to school? There’s a huge selection of those as well!

Of everything, I was most impressed with the prices. The majority of the clothing I picked out was already on sale. Then there was an additional 25 to 30 percent off store-wide the day I hit “submit” on my order. JCPenney is known for having good sales, so keep your eyes peeled for them!

Speaking of deals, if you head to the store, you’ll see that JCPenney offers more than just clothing. Check out some of these back-to-school promotions:

• $10 kids haircuts (grades K-6) through 8/31
• $29.99 eyeglasses (16 and under) through 9/15
• Extra 25 percent off with JCP Card or 15 percent with other payment
• SUPER SATURDAY SALE ($10 off $25) on 8/13 through 8/15

I guess you could say we’re ready for school to start. I’m sure I’ll still need a box of tissues on the first day. Thank you, JCPenney, for this trip down memory lane! Visit the store on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, YouTube, and Google+ for the latest on sales and other promotions.

What trends are on your Back-to-School shopping list this fall? Tell me in the comments for a chance to win a $100 JCPenney gift card.

PS: Don’t miss National #ShoutOutDay on 8/12! JCPenney is starting a shout-out movement in hopes of bending the trend of judgement prevalent in schools towards one of positive reinforcement. 
JCPenney encourages anyone and everyone to join in on the conversation and hand out shout-outs to their friends, family and followers. Simply use #ShoutOutDay to jump in on the conversation. 

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This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older (or nineteen (19) years of age or older in Alabama and Nebraska). Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. The notification email will come directly from BlogHer via the sweeps@blogher email address. You will have 2 business days to respond; otherwise a new winner will be selected.

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Last Day

Ada’s last day of her 3-year-old program was today. Her class is actually in session until the end of the week, but we’re headed to my hometown to enjoy the PA State Laurel Festival. I realized toward the end of the year that the festival dates will conflict with NY’s class schedule seemingly forever . . . so I made the tough choice to skip her end of the year party. Next year she’s going to the same place, so we’ll make sure to give her a great Pre-K graduation!

Anyway, you know me with my photos.

The teachers had prepared a few gifts for parents. One of them was this collage of photos taken on Ada throughout the year doing different things in the classroom. I started crying out of nowhere, silly hormones (CD1!!!). I can’t believe how much Ada has grown in all regards from September until today. It’s absolutely astounding. I am so happy we put her in school early, but we’re still mulling over when she’ll start kindergarden. A discussion for another time.
I hope to pop on here with another post before the end of the week with some photos from my hometown. Any of your kids still in school? I am fascinated by the start/end dates across the country. Is NY going kind of late? Stephen is still working until next Friday.
Ciao for now!
PS: I printed out that first day/last day photo for the teachers with a candy bar as a little gift :) It was simple and extremely cheap, but I think it’s cute!
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