Where I've Been

Hi. I sort of disappeared on you. I have more news in the ear saga . . . and I've now almost completely lost all faith in health care. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I went to the doctor on Monday with annoying excess ear wax. He told me to use drops (Debrox) and come back to get my ears cleaned on Friday.

On Tuesday night, I ended up going to the ER at 11 PM because each time had I used the drops, they wouldn't come out of my ear for 3 or 4 hours. They were starting to hurt. They made me dizzy. And I was having a slight panic attack because the combination of spins, not hearing, ringing, and sort of claustrophobic feeling was really getting to me.

The physician's assistant on duty was even worse than my doctor on Monday. Actually, she was the same one we were extremely unhappy with when Ada was sick and we had to go to urgent care a few months ago. At first, I only slightly recognized her, but as she continued "caring" for me, I soon remembered.

Anyway, she very harshly explained that I needed to get over it and just keep using the drops. She said it was perfectly normal for them to stay in for hours. She very rudely asked me "well, what do YOU think -- that they'd work if they just came out?" Well. The package says to tip your head so they will come out, so -- uh -- yeah, that's what I thought.

Furthermore, she couldn't clean out the wax because it was still too hard/impacted (ew). But there wasn't any infection, thankfully. Basically, I waited there for several hours to only be told to get over it, to ignore the discomfort, and go home.

Wednesday came. I decided to be brave and use the drops twice more as directed. They were stuck in my ears almost all day. They elicited more pain each time I used them. It was absolutely terrible. Stephen stayed home with me because caring for Ada is difficult when I can't hear out of one ear, when that ear hurts, and when I'm a combination of dizzy/nauseous.

It was a hellish day, but I decided enough was enough and that I'd go to a walk-in to get them cleaned out on Thursday. It would all be over soon, despite how I hate the idea of getting my ears cleaned out. I just wanted the whole thing to be over. I couldn't function all week.


So, Thursday. My parents came over to help me with babysitting, etc. My dad went with me (driving is hard when you're dizzy, too -- go figure!) and we waited an hour to get in. Finally I got a nice physician's assistant who immediately told me that there wasn't any wax in my ear. At all. Weird.

Oh, yeah. And . . . I now have an ear infection and a bad case of . . . swimmer's ear.

Hmmm. I wonder how THAT happened! Could it be that those drops staying in my ear for hours wasn't such a good thing after all? You know. The entire reason I went to the ER? Ugh.

So, I basically made myself sick this week while following doctor's orders. I haven't been on antibiotics in years and years. I can't even remember. Now I'm on a Z-pack and medicated ear drops (that thankfully come right out when I tip my head over). I freaked out a bit about breastfeeding, but my lactation consultant (SHE IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!) gave me the OK to continue. At least something went alright in this whole thing.

Have you ever had an extremely bad experience with your medical care?

While I was pregnant, I loved my midwives. They listened to my concerns. They validated the feelings I was experiencing. If something seemed off to me, they wouldn't shut it down with a "this can't happen" or another black and white response. They trusted that I was conveying things that had importance in the situation.

Now, I'm left feeling like I can't trust anyone, that no one listens to me, and that I will never find a care professional for myself (OR for the rest of my family, for that matter) that I can feel comfortable with again. I liked my PA at the walk-in, but he doesn't take regular patients. So frustrating!

I apologize if this seems like a huge rant. Well, forget that word "seems". It is a huge rant. I just can't believe that this could have been avoided somehow. I don't know exactly where in the chain it would have been made different, but obviously something went wrong.

Here's a new vocab word for you all:

i·at·ro·gen·ic: Adjective; Of or relating to illness caused by medical examination or treatment.

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The Biggest Loser: 10 Things I've Learned

1.) I MUST EXERCISE 5 TO 6 HOURS PER DAY TO BE FIT.

Not true. Most of us have work and don't have that much time on our hands! Of course, the show creators do admit that the environment they have set up is artificial (after all, it is TV). But I don't see how contestants can leave the ranch feeling OK with working out the recommended one hour per day. It's a drop in the bucket to them. No, they have been trained to see massive weight loss as a result of massive training efforts.

TAKEAWAY: You don't need to exercise your life away to stay lean and healthy. But a chunk of time -- and hour, 5 days per week -- is good to shoot for. Better yet, try to schedule one longer workout per week to get your endurance juices flowing. A 2-hour run (or mix it up with one hour of cycling and one hour of a class, etc.), can't hurt. (Image source)


2.) I MUST EXERCISE AT A HIGH INTENSITY TO SEE RESULTS.

We've heard the groans. The moans. The yelling and screaming. The agony, really. But Jillian keeps cranking the treadmill higher and higher. Training at high intensities is important. It allows us to get faster, as in the case of speed work in running. It helps us lose weight by shocking our bodies with extra effort. But high intensity workouts should be only part of our exercise routines. The "no pain, no gain" motto can only go so far. Because after a while, you can and will burn out.

TAKEAWAY: Reserve 2 to 3 days per week for high-intensity training. One day could be a track workout. Another could be a spinning class. Yet another could be a 5K race. But keep your routine balanced. Stretching, strengthening, and good 'ole steady cardio are all you need for a sound heart and the mind. (Image Source)


3.) SPECIFIC, HEALTHY BRANDED FOODS ARE THE KEY TO EATING WELL.

Oh, the shameless product placement. It's my favorite part of the show because it's so scripted and not-at-all seamless. I hate to bash the advertisers, but pre-packaged foods that claim to be "healthy" and lower in sugar, fat, etc. can be good for you. But what's better is whole foods. And you don't need pre-measured bags of frozen fruits to make smoothies. I'm sorry to say it. But there's little time saved -- just mix up your own.

TAKEAWAY: Paying attention to your diet is important. Eating the rights foods can make or break your day. Shop the outside aisles of the grocery store for fresh fruits, veggies, low-fat dairy, lean meats, and frozen items (not dinners -- we're talking peas, strawberries, and other frosty goodness). And if you have to buy packaged, read the label. Know what you're eating. (Image Source)


4.) I MUST LIMIT MY CALORIC INTAKE TO WARD OFF WEIGHT GAIN.

Yes. True -- somewhat. But the portion control is what gets me the most about this show. It seems like these poor people eat so little to fuel their workouts. I get it, the point is that they need to and want to lose weight. But in any "normal" scenario, working out 5 hours a day and eating 1500 calories (I remember hearing that as a total for one of the female contestants) is, well, ridiculous. I hate to go here, but in any "normal" scenario, this method would be considered an eating disorder.

TAKEAWAY: Portion control is important. But more important is focusing on the TYPES of foods you eat, not necessarily the number of calories in that food. Fill up on lots of fruits and veggies. Not so much on the Christmas candy. And if you find it helpful to count, do. But don't get too hung up on it. Especially if you lead a very active lifestyle. (Image Source)


5.) A SUPPORT SYSTEM IS HELPFUL. AND WORKING OUT WITH FRIENDS IS FUN! 

Now here's something good I've gained from watching the show. The times when teammates have worked together to keep each other motivated. The times when contestants have sacrificed their own success to help another person having some trouble. It's all so feel-good, but it's really true. Sometimes you just can't do it alone. Sometimes you just don't WANT to do it alone. And you don't have to.

TAKEAWAY: If you're having trouble staying motivated to eat well or exercise, enlist the help of a friend or family member. It's that simple. Now, if you don't know of anyone who's interested in living a healthy lifestyle, look harder. Or ever look to the web (Healthy Living Blogs) for support. (Image Source)


6.) I MUST LOSE WEIGHT IN LARGE INCREMENTS, CONSISTENTLY TO CLAIM SUCCESS.

I feel so terrible watching the contestants' faces slump to a frown when they haven't met their goals for a certain week. More alarming is the pressure from the coaches. We all see that they're doing work. Yes, some of them more than others. But still! Not losing 10 pounds in a week isn't a failure. In fact, the expectation of that much weight loss is not healthy.

TAKEAWAY: Know your body and its limits. If you're looking to lose weight, aim for the healthy range. A max of 2 pounds per week is what I've seen advised. And if you stay put one week, put it in perspective. If you're doing the work, you're still reaping the benefits health-wise. Those jeans will fit again in no time at all! (Image Source)


7.) WATER WEIGHT VERSUS MUSCLE WEIGHT? NAH! ONLY THE NUMBER COUNTS.

The contestants run. They lift weights. The work all day to get buff. Yes, they have some spare pounds they need to shed, but does anyone ever take a look at the TYPE of weight they're losing? No. Furthermore, do you ever notice it's harder for women to lost competitive percentages of weight? There are way more factors involved than a simple calories in/calories out formula. Yet, the show never brings up this important topic.

TAKEAWAY: Men and women different. More important: Every body is different. Depending on the type of exercise you choose, you may gain muscle weight. Or not. You may have a high metabolism you can thank your grandmother for. Or perhaps a slow one from your father's side of the family. The key is finding what works for you. And if you are trying to lose weight and genuinely feel you're putting in the work with no payoff, you may want to visit your doctor. More may be in play than you know about (several conditions, like thyroid problems, can impact weight loss). (Image Source)


8.) I NEED NOT TRAIN MUCH TO RUN A MARATHON.

Uh. Hello? They ran a MARATHON on the last episode. I realize this has been done every season. But at what point during the show did we hear about training for said marathon? Talk about 0 to 26.2 in three months. As a well-trained runner dealing with injury right now, I admit watching Ada cross the finish line in nearly 4:30 had me both proud for her and somewhat irked. Yeah, I can see how their 5 or so hours of working our per day would allow them to complete such a feat. But how are they not injured like me? I just don't get it.

TAKEAWAY: Alright. My rant is over. I promise. But marathons are serious business. What I worry after watching this particular episode is that people are going to want instant gratification. I didn't run a marathon my first year of running. Nor did I run it in my second year. It took me several more until I laced up at the start of Philly. Accomplishing goals is one thing, but you don't always need to pick the largest goal to be a success. (Image Source)


9.) I NEED A PERSONAL TRAINER AND NUTRITIONIST TO BE HEALTHY.

Not true. Though, a few sessions may not hurt. If you are new to working out or eating well, a visit to these professionals can be beneficial. You can learn how to properly use machines at the gym, understand why you'd want to do certain exercises, and become enlightened to a whole host of other related things. Plus, you get the opportunity to ask an expert questions. Same goes with the nutrition. If your insurance covers it, a trip in to see where you're at and where you want to go can only help. And before making drastic changes to your lifestyle, it's always a good idea to let your general practitioner know.

TAKEAWAY: Even if you're a pro athlete, a little advice every now and again can be good. It can get you thinking about new ways to do things. Or even give you the opportunity to get out of a rut. As a personal example, I'm planning to take a few swim lessons this winter because I know nothing of proper swimming technique. Yet in all the years I've been working out, this will be the first time I've sought out the advice of a fitness professional. It's never too late! (Image Source)


10. IF I LOSE SIGHT OF MY GOALS. I'LL FAIL. FOCUS? SUCCEED!

I agree with this one. Despite how high the contestants must reach to attain the goals they've set for themselves . . . if they get distracted, it doesn't work out for them. Focus is so incredibly important for, say, heading out for a run on a cold, blustery day versus staying indoors and sipping hot cocoa. Set healthy goals for yourself and find ways to stick to them. (These goals don't always need to be related to food and exercise -- just check out our Spotlight on Personal Goals post.) Easier said than done sometimes, but working toward something is far more rewarding than not.

TAKEAWAY: Overall, the core of the show (having a goal to lead a healthier, happier life) is -- at least I think -- good. But don't get caught up in the TV drama and methods the contestants use to reach those goals. It isn't real life . . . and we all need to find what works best for us individually. Not Jillian. Not Bob. Not Ada. Not Frado. (Image Source)

What do YOU think about the Biggest Loser? The good AND the bad. Do you find yourself glued to it week after week like we do? It certainly does amaze me every season to watch the transformations -- both physically and emotionally -- each person goes through. Though I definitely have some issues with the show, it's at least a positive in that it has me thinking about the issues I listed above. I'd love to know your thoughts!

Just leave a comment or email us at neverhomemaker [at] gmail [dot] com.

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Skinny versus Healthy

I've been down on myself lately because I've been carrying a few extra pounds in the weeks after hard training for the Lehigh Valley Half Marathon. I've not been watching what I've been eating. Been moving around far less. But I have stopped feeling bad for myself and realized I have the powder to turn it all around. So, this week I've revamped my "diet" (and I don't diet these days, just eat wholesome, good foods -- less sweet stuff and fats). I've been heading out the door more (despite how sore I am after our epic bike trek this weekend). And it seems to be working just fine.

It's more about how I feel than how I look or what the scale says. And I'm feeling much, much better. I'm getting back into my usual weight range, too. Without feeling hungry or like I'm denying myself anything.

All of this internal dialog, though, has made me think back to a time when I was seriously dieting. The entire summer before our wedding -- back in 2007. I was 23. I was totally stressed at work. And all that seemed to matter was the wedding and how I could fit into the dress the seamstress made a TAD too small. OK. Like an entire size too small. Back then, I weighed 10 pounds less than I do now. I don't even know how that's possible, but it is. I was seriously SKINNY -- frail, even. And I don't mean any of those words in a bragging or proud way.


I look back on our wedding photos and cringe . . . because I know what it took to be that tiny. So, I thought I'd profile SKINNY versus HEALTHY today. Because in the end, it's all about how you feel. What you can accomplish with your body (think race PRs not fitting into size 1 jeans). I know what my healthy weight is. It's where I land despite the highest mileage weeks during marathon training. When I'm eating the best foods. When I feel powerful and strong. It's not a specific number on the scale -- it's more a range. To repeat myself again, it's also a feeling.

SKINNY


Skinny just didn't feel right. I'd wake up each morning tired, drag myself out of bed, and "feast" on a one-serving bowl of Special K. I'd rush around to get to work, where I'd sit and deny my cravings. And that would maybe be OK if I was craving fruits and veggies -- because I SHOULD have been eating them. Instead, if I got terribly hungry, I'd nosh on a small package of Oreo 100 calorie packs. I'd drink ridiculous amounts of coffee to keep myself buzzing (and I HATE coffee). Lunch was always a small serving of broccoli and brown rice (to put it in perspective, I eat probably 3 times this serving size now).


When I'd get home, I'd try desperately to run. But I was far too stressed and tired, so I only could manage long, brisk walks around the neighborhood. It felt weird not being able to run. But during that period of time, I thought eating less was better than working out more. It was this warped logic I found myself in when I started to see the numbers on the scale plummet. I'd eat a dinner -- never the same as Stephen -- which was always, always, always a Lean Cuisine (thinking about all that sodium makes me sick!). Then I'd finish out the night by eating a popsicle and maybe another Oreo 100 calorie pack. And that was IT. I'd do push-ups and lift weights during commercial breaks of wedding planning shows. Occasionally I'd binge on peanut butter M&Ms and feel incredibly awful and guilty about it.


Thinking back, I remember being hungry ALL the time. I remember having absolutely no energy. My stomach would growl. I'd feel lightheaded. Basically, I had nothing inside of me, and that's exactly how I felt. My emotions were EVERYWHERE, too. And I know that's a symptom of wedding planning, but I'm sure not-so proper nutrition didn't help matters any.

The wedding day came and went. And, thankfully, I quickly returned back to my healthy habits once all the stress to fit into the dress faded. I can't help wondering, though, how I found myself in that incredibly destructive cycle. It crept up on me so gradually. And before I could do anything about it, I was so immersed, I really couldn't see I needed a way out.

HEALTHY


I consider this past year my healthiest year. I stayed at my "active weight" -- the weight where I feel the best, the most able to achieve my goals, like running a marathon. I wake up each morning tired, but not from lack of calories. From a good sweat the night before. I eat a hearty bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, usually with sliced fruit and/or nuts. I bring lots of food to work with me -- apples, celery sticks with natural nut butters, carrots, hummus, whole grain pita bread, even an energy chunk or two. I could go on.

Point is: I never go hungry. I don't eat a "lunch" -- just graze throughout the day. I bound from place to place, but don't FORCE myself to walk if I don't feel like it. I read during my breaks and blog during my specific lunch time.


When I get home, I run. I've been training for lots of races, so I have a prescribed plan most of the time. And usually I'm able to complete my workout for the day. If not, I don't get too down on myself because I realize my body needs rest. I try my best to distinguish when I need rest versus when I'm just not feeling it (and know that heading out will actually be more beneficial than not). Dinner each night is different. We do still eat broccoli and brown rice a lot, but as I mentioned above -- a lot more of it. We get creative with our meals. They're always teeming with fresh vegetables and fruits. And I most usually eat some type of dessert (much of what you see on this blog).

After dinner, I don't force myself to lift weights or do crunches during commercial breaks. If it's nice out, maybe we'll take a walk or play yard games. Other nights, we read, blog, and watch TV. Before bed, I work toward my goal of doing 100 push-ups at one time (I'm up to 65!!!). I go to bed by 10PM every single night.


Healthy feels strong. Confident. Relaxed. Centered. And steady. I love to cook and bake, and I can enjoy these hobbies instead of fear them. I love to race, and I can participate in many races without feeling like I'll faint. I may not fit in my wedding dress, but I'm still fit. It feels so much better to live this way, and I just wish I had these happy memories from back THEN, too. Instead, I consider my skinny summer The Lost Summer. Because all those reduced calories and bad feelings have definitely impacted my memory.

Now, I'm not saying you can't be skinny AND healthy. I'm not saying what is right for me is right for you. But I'm asking each and every one of you to take careful stock of how you feel right now. How you feel from day to day. If you're hungry. You need to eat more. If you're tired and not enjoying exercise, you need to reconsider what you're doing. Just because you find yourself in a routine . . . or with a specific goal that may be unreasonable . . . doesn't mean you can't break out of it.


However difficult it may be, you and you alone have the power to change. Ultimately, this is your life to live. This is your body. And I don't know about you, but I'd rather feel accomplished and strong than fit into a tight, tiny wedding dress.

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