Life Update

Wow. Hello. I did not intend to take such a long break. But, well, life! I don't feel like going into intimate details, but I'll just say that I've had some health issues in the past couple weeks. They sound relatively mild, but I have been surprised how much they've impacted me.

(OK. Totally random photo I found the other day. Love it.)

Basically, I started out getting a bad impaction of wax in my ear. I got it flushed by the doctor. But that led to a middle ear infection. I have quite a history of ear infections, so this sort of always happens. And then that led to an outer ear infection -- the worst I've ever had. And even after antibiotics and ear drops, I'm still not entirely better. It's been a lot of pain, difficulty sleeping, and -- if I'm being honest -- madness. Not being able to hear out of an ear for over a week (going on two weeks) . . . and the feeling of fullness and pressure and PAIN. It's just something I'm ready to leave behind. But as I was getting better . . . I feel like I'm back-sliding a bit. I may need to go back to the doctor yet again.

Anyway. I'm sitting here watching snowflakes fall outside my living room window.

Ada and Stephen have a 2-hour delay from school this morning.

And I'm beyond ready for winter to be over.

We had a few days of warmth last month when I thought "this is it -- we're headed toward spring!" My mood changed. I was able to walk outside and feel the sun on my cheeks. If you live in a cold and cloudy climate, you know that this feeling is everything. Then -- poof. We have descended into the depths yet again with no respite in sight.

There's nothing new there, though. It happens every year. I swear "spring" never truly arrives until May. Heck, I think I remember seeing snowflakes a week before my college graduation. My bother just moved to North Carolina, and I think he's probably the smartest person in our family. While I do like where we live, it's a huge struggle half the year to feel human. It starts all hygge and cozy with the promise of crackling fires and hot cocoa. But then the days just drag until we inevitably get SUMMER. There's really no in-between. Thank goodness for the time change, however. The daylight does help.

The last big change is that track season started. It's a big adjustment for our family. But I feel more prepared than I have in past years. We're in a better groove. I have ideas of how we'll spend those long Saturdays. Something I always struggle with during coaching seasons is spending too much money. So, I'm hoping to keep myself accountable by sharing some ways I'm being frugal. I've been attempting to buy nothing new this year. I don't think I could buy NOTHING. It's very difficult with kids to buy absolutely nothing. But I'm excited to share my progress.

Oh! We have three Aldi stores in my area. The one farthest away has been renovated for quite some time, but I never find myself up in that direction. But they just renovated my usual spot. And it's glorious! I was thinking about trying to snap some photos to give you guys a tour. Any interest in that? I love it! I think they are carrying more products now, too. I wasn't feeling well the last time I went there, so I wasn't paying close attention . . . but some people have said that when the Aldi gets a facelift, the prices go up. Any thoughts there?

Today I just wanted to say HELLO. I should be back at semi-regular blogging. I may try to do those mini blogs again to share brief snippets of what's going on in my life these days. Actually quite a bit to share about. I just hope I can continue to heal and build back my energy.

Happy Tuesday!

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Our Experience with Lyme Disease

My blog has never been a glossy or polished place where I try to make our lives seem perfect. At the same time, I feel like sometimes I end up telling the world far too many of our family’s problems. I feel vulnerable and even stupid for certain mistakes. And I really thought about not sharing this chapter, but I figured if I could help anyone avoid what we are experiencing -- good.

So, here it goes.

We live in upstate New York and frequently travel to Pennsylvania and New Jersey. And we LOVE being outdoors. As a result, we know all about ticks and Lyme Disease. If you don’t live where this is a big deal, feel free to skip this post (and thank your lucky stars!). Anyway, we check Ada for ticks daily, head to toe. So, when Ada was diagnosed with early disseminated Lyme earlier this week, we were completely blindsided. I mean, jaw-dropping, what-the-hell-do-you-mean, I’m-the-worst-mother-ever sort of shocked.

It all started a couple weeks ago before I headed home for the Laurel Festival. Ada had a low-grade fever for a couple days. I was worried she might have a virus or even strep. We always have to be careful with strep because my dad had open heart surgery to replace his aortic valve several years ago. Getting that strain can have deadly consequences for him. I had planned to take her to the doctor to rule it out before our trip when the fever vanished overnight.

My parents picked me up and we enjoyed our stay, only to have the fever come back when we returned home. It was low. Usually around 100.1, but ranged between 99 to 101.5 or so, and when we returned home, I figured it had been six days. Ada was also being somewhat irritable for a couple days, but otherwise completely healthy. We took her to her primary care doctor to start the investigation. Nothing showed up on a multitude of tests. 

But our doctor did mention the possibility Lyme. She said if Ada’s fever didn’t go away, we should return for a blood test. The three of us noticed a bit of redness on her scalp, so we were told to watch that, too. Of course, I immediately didn’t think that could be the case. We check her skin nighty and run our fingers through her hair, and I’ve never seen a tick on her little pale body.

It’s funny when you fixate on something for long periods of time. Like, I had this substitute teacher in high school who would always introduce himself by handing out pamphlets about the dangers of Lyme Disease. He was a long-time sufferer, and it had such an impression on me. A tiny tick bite can cause debilitating symptoms, sometimes with little notice. Where I grew up, the prevalence isn’t terribly high, so we thought this guy was a bit of a nut-case. Since I’ve grown and moved east, our doctor says around 40 percent of ticks carry the disease. When we visit NJ, the rate might be even higher. And ticks carry other sorts of scary, even fatal diseases as well.

Fast forward to Monday night after bath time. Ada had been fever-free for a week and the redness on her scalp had faded almost immediately after our doctor visit. We thought we had dodged some major bullet. Obviously she had just had another one of the hundred viruses we’ve jumped the gun and taken her to the doctor for. And then Stephen said “Uhhhhh -- you need to get up here. NOW. Ada has a rash over her entire body!” Cue the freaking out. Big and little round blotches were on her arms, legs, and trunk. Her cheeks were bright red, and this all just showed up after being in lukewarm water.

We ran over to the walk-in just minutes before it closed. The nurse practitioner wasn’t worried -- the rash was already fading the longer she had been out of the bath. But she said given our history of the mystery virus, she wanted to check with the on-call doctor. When the doctor came in, she sort of nodded and didn’t say much, they went out to the hall to talk, and we were promptly given a course of antibiotics “just in case” and a lab sheet to get a blood draw to check for Lyme.

By now, I was completely dumbfounded.

How could this have happened on my watch?

Last night I got a call from Ada’s usual pediatrician with a message that the results were in + we needed to chat. It reminded me a lot of her tone when Ada’s MRI results came back and meant brain surgery. I knew immediately that Ada had Lyme. I called her back and we spent a good 20 minutes talking about the stage the disease is in (basically we caught the early disseminated form in its earliest days -- because we didn’t see a bullseye, and not all people see the initial rash), the treatment plan (low dose antibiotics for SIX weeks), and anything we should look out for.

I told her I feel like a complete failure because I never saw a tick -- and I was looking! She said we did the best we could do by being so proactive about bringing her to the doctor. Apparently out of the four years she has been in our area, this has been the absolute worst for Lyme. I also told her I’m afraid to go outside again. She said we cannot live our lives in a bubble. We caught this early enough that Ada should have no long-lasting effects. Kids apparently don’t suffer the same fate as adults, and they typically have lower rates of post-treatment complications. 

So, now we watch and wait. And we arm ourselves with information to keep this from happening again. At the same time, I will admit the stuff I have come across online makes spotting ticks seem so easy. Ada has a lot of hair, and I’m almost certain that must be where the tick was hiding (after all, we did see the slightly red area at the doctor the first time around). The doctor said it’s possible the tick hadn’t been attached particularly long and that the 72-hour rule you hear isn’t necessarily how long it takes to contract the disease.

Anyway, if you live in a Lyme area, check, check, and check some more. Many people get Lyme without ever seeing a tick, so pay attention to any weird symptoms like on and off fever/flu with no explanation. Weird rashes. In children, irritability is another sign. The list goes on all the way to swollen joints, face paralysis, and more scary stuff I’m trying not to think about.

I look back on that high school substitute and now think he wasn’t so crazy. In fact, I thank him. Now I’m going to carry on that tradition of letting people know that this disease is no joke. Not all ticks carry Lyme, but if you ever suspect anything is out of the ordinary, get in touch with your doctor ASAP.

Have a safe and happy 4th of July weekend!

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Lately

I planned to share a great Cinco De Mayo recipe with you guys today. But a certain someone came down with a nasty chest cold this weekend. Yesterday her temp was almost 104! (By the way, if you haven’t invested in one of those forehead thermometers -- run and grab one. I had to spend $50 on this one in haste, but it’s less than $25 on Amazon!) We took a quick trip to the walk-in, almost had to order a chest x-ray, but then we were discharged with a prescription we’ll fill if this thing doesn’t kick soon.

It’s a long way of saying I didn’t get around to it. But tonight we’ll be making quesadillas on the grill with cauliflower, poblanos, portabellas, black beans, and lots of gooey cheese. I wanted to try out this plantain tortilla recipe, but Wegmans was plumb out of them. I got some stone ground corn tortillas instead. Anyway, stay tuned for the deliciousness.

So, we finished our composter.

I can’t wait to update you guys on how it’s working. All we did was get a that galvanized trash can. Then we drilled a bunch of 1/4” holes in the bottom and bottom third, dug a hole about half as deep as the can, and tamped down the dirt. After that, we tossed in our organic matter, some dry leaves, and garden soil. Another Pinterest project done!

I also dyed and highlighted my hair.


OK. So I did this at home. And I am not going to share a tutorial because I’m in experimental territory here. I had been dying my hair with henna for years. I am sick of it being the same color, and I’ve read you can’t dye henna out of hair. I tried anyway. It actually looks pretty good. At least to me. It’s a brighter color. The highlights are pretty bold. We’ll see how long it lasts.

I’ll admit I didn’t love using chemicals on my hair again. But part of me just really needed the change. I used L’oreal Paris hi-lift in UL63. I then waited a day and used their Glam Highlights for medium brown hair. It looked pretty brassy, so I am also using a purple shampoo to tone. Like I said, not giving a tutorial, just sharing. Proceed with caution.

Here’s a grilling idea!


Make grilled cheese on your, well, grill! I took two pieces of French peasant bread and spread one with pesto. Topped with some sliced tomatoes . . . and then camembert cheese. You could use brie or any other kind, really. Then place the other piece of bread on top. Wrap the entire thing in foil and cook on your grill until the bread is slightly browned.

DELISH!


She’s sick, but with this amazing weather -- we’re all still smiling. I just wanted to give you long-time readers a quick note because I have a few sponsored posts coming up this month. They were all written/reviewed/planned at different times, but the publish schedule seems to be kind of tight. I don’t take it lightly, so please understand it wasn’t my intention.

There will be one tomorrow and then another one mid-month in addition to yesterday’s musings on My Motherhood Journey. (Speaking of motherhood, I ran into my midwife today at the grocery store and it was so incredibly awkward. It’s a story for another time. I have just decided I’m going with another provider when I’m pregnant again after everything that happened in the last couple months. Again, story for another time . . . it just kind of killed my mood today.)

As always, thanks for reading and supporting us!

You guys know I have a lot more good stuff in store, so stay tuned.

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5 Vegetarian Foods To Boost Immunity

Over the last half a year, I’ve been sick more times than I can count. And I’ve probably had a bug more times in this short period than in the last five years combined. Some friends and family have commented on my predicament, and the best I can do is explain that this first year of exposure to germs through preschool is kicking our butts. I highly underestimated how crazy things can get when you leave that bubble of being at home most of the time.

Rather than dwell on the misfortunate of having 18 other kids (their siblings, their families, etc.) and their sniffles and fevers to worry about, I’m being proactive. Diet has a powerful impact on how our bodies operate and deal with germs and sickness. So, I’m incorporating more and more immune-boosting foods into our everyday lives. The next time we get a letter saying we’ve been exposed to STREP or something else, I’ll take a deep breath and know at least we’re doing all we can do to prevent the worst from festering.

Yogurt

I’ve been meaning to write more about our dairy intake these days. Yogurt is one of those foods we always have on hand, though the exact type changes from week to week. We’ll do plain non-fat, Greek, Icelandic style, etc. All for those probiotics that keep the gut and intestinal tract happy. I spent a good part of my life hating yogurt, so if you have trouble with the taste or texture, try adding it to a smoothie.

I also love kefir, which is a yogurt-like beverage you can find at most stores. Get this: We can even get a delicious kefir at our local Aldi on the cheap. (Here’s more about shopping at Aldi.) The name comes from the Turkish word "keif" which means good feeling. In the bottle, you’ll unlock probiotics, calcium, tryptophan (making it a great before bed treat), protein, B vitamins, and even phosphorus.

Oats

Ada loves eating “mush” each morning, so we’ve gotten into quite an oats habit over here. And it’s a good thing, since oats contain tons of soluble fiber that lowers cholesterol and helps to fight inflammation. In a study conducted by the University of Illinois, lab rats were fed diets with different fiber content (soluble versus insoluble) and then injected with illness. Those rats who ate the soluble fiber diets recovered from sickness 50 percent faster than the others. Impressive findings.

Garlic

I remember several years back when taking garlic pills was all the rage. It may still be a popular supplement, but adding garlic to your diet has some major benefits. It’s actually an immunity-boosting superstar! Why? Well -- along with calcium and potassium -- it contains 100 sulfuric compounds that work to wipe out bacteria and infection. Chives, leeks, onions, and shallots have similar benefits -- so add these guys to your cooking routine for better health. Plus, it just tastes good.

Sweet Potatoes

I’ll admit I had some sweet potato fatigue -- especially when they became a staple of the most popular diets around these days. But we’re adding them back to our weekly cart because (fad or not), they pack some major nutrition. Sweet potatoes contain phytonutrient beta carotene, which your body turns into vitamin A -- fighting off infection and bolstering the immune system. Pumpkins and carrots pack a similar punch, but sweet potatoes also contain a nice dose of vitamin C.

Miso

Just like kefir, miso is one of those living cultured foods with innumerable benefits for the immune system. Fermented foods -- like miso, kefir, kimchee, sauerkraut, etc. -- increase antibodies and create antioxidants to fight off free radicals. Not only that, they also help with digestion. Now, when you’re purchasing these foods, you want to make sure they aren’t pasteurized or processed, which basically kills off all the benefit. The same goes with using in cooking. For example, if you’re making miso soup, don’t boil the miso (it will kill the good stuff). Instead, simmer it to help release all the good enzymes.

+   +   +   +   +   +   +

I’ll be back someday soon with some recipes that incorporate these ingredients. But I’d love to know what you’ve done to keep your family’s immune systems strong during cold and flu season. We also take multivitamins and try to get in lots of greens and other fruits and veggies. I’ve noticed a huge number of pluses since I started my green smoothie routine again. Here are some tips of blending the best green smoothie ever. I’m off to make mine now . . .

Happy Wednesday!

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Stomach Bug + Natural Pedialyte

Ada woke up from her nap a few days ago and promptly vomited the entire contents of her stomach. Around 15 minutes later, whatever else was left came up. My heart dropped, and I couldn’t remember what to do with the stomach flu. Thankfully she didn’t have a fever and was in generally good spirits.

I ran out to the store immediately to stock Pedialyte for the long night.

WHAT TO DO

Since we haven’t dealt with a stomach bug since, well, infancy, I asked around on Facebook what I should be doing otherwise. My mind tends to blank whenever Ada gets sick. I’m fortunate to have many experienced parent and doctor friends who gave me suggestions just when I needed them. Thanks, friends.

Here’s what they told me:

• Stay away from sugary beverages like juice (exacerbates dehydration by causing diarrhea). 
• Stick with popsicles, Pedialyte, watered down Gatorade (1:1), coconut water, or plain water between episodes.
• Don’t worry so much about pushing food until the worst of the vomitting is over. The main concern is dehydration.
• After sickness has started to wane, try the BRAT diet (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast), though I’ve also read that not all doctors are promoting a modified diet because getting back to normal nutrition is more important. Take it one hour at a time.
• Call you doctor if you have any questions or see behavior changes or signs of dehydration in your kiddo (not peeing as much, lethargy, etc.). 
• And here is more information about child vomiting.

NATURAL PEDIALYTE

So, Pedialyte. I poured some of the orange viscous drink in a glass hoping to replenish some lost electrolytes, fluids, and zinc. I eagerly handed the glass to Ada feeling relieved that she’d be getting some of the stuff her body needs to feel better. One sip through a straw later, and the stuff was 100 percent shunned FOR LIFE. She wouldn’t touch it. “Ewwwwww!” said Ada, looking like her stomach was about to turn again.

My friend Rachael had suggested a homemade alternative (for some reason the link isn’t working today -- but hopefully that will change), and at that point I was willing to give anything a try. Here are a few great natural + kid-friendly electrolyte drinks I found across the web.

// RECIPE #1
via Mama Natural

1 c. coconut water + 1/8 to 1/4 tsp. sea salt

// RECIPE #2
via The Reluctant Hippie

1 qt. water + fresh lemon juice + 1/3 c. (raw) honey + 1/4 tsp. salt

// RECIPE #3
via Cute and Peculiar 

1 qt. water + 1/2 tsp. baking soda + 2 tbsp. agave + 1/4 tsp. salt + 1 c. OJ

FREEZE

When all else fails, go with what’s working best. This might be a splash of gatorade in a glass of water. For Ada, popsicles worked best by far, and I’m sure you could freeze most of the homemade Pedialyte recipes if you think your child would more likely ingest them frozen.

We’ve been buying Ruby’s Rockets for a while, and Ada’s been eating those as she gets her appetite back. They’re made with fruits and veggies and contain probiotics. Our favorite flavors are Orbit Orange and Galaxy Green. By the way, I’m not affiliated with the company at all -- and if you click onto their website, there’s a $1 off coupon even I didn’t know about until right now.

Cool!

Hopefully you won’t need much of this info very often, but I do help it gives you some confidence when the dreaded stomach bug strikes your home. The best part? You can use these recipes and tips to replenish yourself if YOU are the one who’s sick. I haven’t caught the bug (yet -- FX), but I’m surely hoping if I do that it will pass as quickly as it did for Ada. She was better the very next day.

What are your tried and true stomach flu remedies?

* Coconut water image from here.

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Why Taking a Break Isn't the End

I thought I'd take a break from food today to share a continuation on a freelance article I wrote this week about Getting Back Into Running After Sickness. A part II, if you will. Though, if you'd like a basic how to start back again on the path to normal training, you should definitely check out the other piece.

So, in short -- I was really sick and didn't run for twelve days. As in, almost two weeks. I've written before about the DOs and DON'Ts of running while sick, and since this cold resided in my chest with a low-grade fever, I knew I shouldn't even try to get in my nomal miles. What a bummer.

When I headed out on one of my return-to-running runs yesterday, it struck me that my attitude toward this topic has changed dramatically over the course of my time with the sport. When I was a newbie, I was devastated whenever I was sick. Time off my feet meant getting off schedule and getting off schedule was catastrophic. I'd try desperately to sneak in any distance at any pace just to maintain some semblance of continuity.

Otherwise, I felt DOOMED.

I distinctly remember one cold February afternoon in college when I slugged along to run my 4 miles on the treadmill, "sweating out" a fever. I'm sure that did me no good at all -- not for my sickness, not for my race plan. It wasn't an isolated incident either. Now -- years, many illnesses, injuries, and a pregnancy + postpartum period later, I'm faster than I have ever been and have had multiple lapses in my training ranging from days to months.

Yes. There have been times when I haven't gone for a run in months.
And yet, here I am.
Still alive.
Still breaking personal records.
Cool, huh?

Each and every time something happens that takes me away, I've learned something. Over time, that accumulation of knowledge has enlightened me to the fact that -- yeah, I might not be performing at optimal levels at all times, but ultimately, it doesn't matter much. Our bodies, if we otherwise maintain some consistency with running, rebound. It's like riding a bike in that respect.

Getting back into it is difficult, but the muscle memory is there.
The cardiovascular system catches up, lagging only slightly.

If you are sick or discouraged in the wake of some unplanned hiatus, I hope this is encouraging news to hear. It can be one of the hardest messages to deliver to ourselves. I mean, during the height of sickness . . . it can feel like you're a tragically frail character in a Victorian romance novel . . . but you'll heal and be back running (as it nothing ever happened) before you know it.

But I hope you're all well!
What's on your training plan today?
 
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Toxic

Have you ever woken up and felt . . . just . . . toxic?

For me, it's been building for months (years?). I've talked about it here on the blog. I've even started some "plans" or thought of different things that might help. I've tried going gluten-free, keeping a diary of the foods I eat + calories, and many more tactics.

What's compounded the problem is this nasty cold I've had the last week or so. It's the worst cold I've had in years -- chills, chest cough, fever, night sweats (TMI?), etc. I've been to the doctor because it was getting that bad, but he said to sit tight because it's viral. Thankfully, this morning it seems to be letting up. In its wake, I am having major digestive issues, I'm mammothly (not a word) bloated, and I feel generally flat -- dazed + confused -- because I've been in bed, little movement, eating a diet of convenience + comfort foods.

Today I am starting a 3-day clean-food detox. I don't do the whole fasting thing. I'm interested in a juice detox, but don't have a juicer -- making lots of carrot juice in the Ninja would be too labor intensive. Scratch that. It would be Insane with a capital I.

The "detox" will be sort of like this one I found on the GAIAM website, but it's not vegetarian so I'll need to make some protein-riffic substitutions. Basically, there was a day over the weekend where I hit rock bottom. I felt absolutely terrible from my cold and I proceeded to eat s'mores, shovel down yet another grilled cheese, and then crave a beer (yeah -- I didn't drink one because of the cold, but I sure wanted to!).

I've realized the only person keeping me from feeling vibrant and alive again is me. I can dream all I want about ways to juice or detox or diet or what have you, but unless I start doing something and making that something permanent and not a gimmick -- this will be just another Monday that I thought to start, but continued the trend of sugar + alcohol + too much bread and dairy + etc.

It's funny how those Mondays can go from subsequent weeks to months to a year or more.

Commence the eye rolls.

I know I'm always writing about some grand scheme to do something like this. So, I don't blame anyone who is skeptical. (Even my snarky self is like, c'mon -- are you for real this time?) But REALLY, guys, I felt at the BOTTOM in the last few days. Knocking on heaven's hell's door, if you will. I'm am adult and I need to start acting like one and eating chocolate and marshmallows for lunch is something my 10-year-old self would have died to do, but that doesn't make it remotely OK 20 years later.

So maybe you're in similar shoes right about now. I invite you to join me. Informally, of course. (I'll be sharing my foods over on Instagram.) I'm hoping that taking the approach of a few days at a time will be better than setting out on some gigantic plan. Those are intimidating. I often make promises to myself that I can't keep.

But three days of using our CSA share to the max? I think I can handle that.

Off to make my oats . . .

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Sick Day

I woke up with scratchy throat, aches + chills, and then discovered I have a chesty cough.

Gross.

Those of you who have already listened to me moan and groan on Twitter and Facebook gave me some great suggestions for how to feel better, fast. Thanks! Here are some goodies if you're not feeling so hot today either.

"Rest, tea, citrus, steamy things, spicy things (like horseradish spicy), REST, netflix" -- Laurie

"Do you have any eucalyptus oil? I dilute in coconut oil and rub on chest and back. I also put drops of it (pure) in shower." -- Diana

"ACV, Lemon, H2O & Honey mixed. Fruits & veggies. Squeeze in a nap. Peppermint or Eucalyptus Oil may also help." -- Alyssa

"Drink kombucha. Lots of kombucha." -- Jason

"Inhale peppermint oil - either some in hands, or in boiling water and breathe steam. Olive leaf extract. Sleep." -- Kat

"Sleeeeep! Take zicam, vitamins and lots of water! ACV works wonders too!" -- Marisa


Thankfully Ada is super happy today. So, after I mustered all the energy I could to play with her this morning, we went out to the store and I got some Badger Chest Balm, Gingerade Kombucha, and fresh chocolate donut(s). Probably not the best dietary choice, but I'm not hungry either -- so I haven't had any yet.

Boo.

Now I'm sitting on the couch watching The Details. (I have a thing for Tobey Maguire since The Great Gatsby, which I know is strange because his character, at least in the book, isn't exactly meant to be a dreamboat for the ladies, amIright?) Messed up movie, but not entirely un-enjoyable. Just wanted to pop in and say hi.

And also . . .


The winner of the Albion swimsuit giveaway is Andrea! Congrats -- I'll be in contact with you soon regarding your prize.

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Terrible Tuesday

MY KITCHEN.

Full disclosure: This photo is from days ago, but it looks very much the same on this sunny Tuesday afternoon. What that means is good stuff for you all, but we have loads of dishes to do by hand and in the washer tonight. It doesn't help that I have a bad habit of getting a new water glass every time I get up.

We all have our quirks, right?

I had planned to share with you a roasted sweet potato + black bean burger recipe today. Someone (cough, cough) ate the last one before I got the chance to photograph it. You may think I'm referring to Stephen in a coy way there, but I am -- in fact -- referring to myself.

So, I'll post the recipe tomorrow with lovely photos because I'm making these burgers AGAIN tonight. They are seriously that good. For now, here's the pre-cooked view of all the black beans + roasted sweet potatoes + walnuts + oats + spices and even more healthy, hearty deliciousness.

I think they'd be great for freezing, too. Double quadruple batch maybe? I'll try to throw in a dessert for making you wait, too.


I wrote about my weird lightheadedness issues yesterday. I feel totally normal besides having these strange moments of cloudy funk. However, the soonest I could get an appointment with a new GP was the 24th, so I decided the whole thing warranted a trip to the walk-in clinic. I hate feeling sick, weak, and otherwise shut-in -- especially when the cause isn't clear-cut.

Everyone was encouraged to wear a mask due to the recent flu issues around the area. (Making my best crazy eyes face there.)


In the end, my issue isn't sinus or ear-related. The doctor suspects anemia. I got three deep red viles of blood taken and should get the results tomorrow. I used to hate having my blood taken, but after enduring the 3-hour glucose test during my pregnancy -- it's a piece of cake. Fingers crossed we'll figure it out soon and/or the feeling will just stop.

I am ready to be back to my old self, please. Ready, too, to get out there and run some of the Freeze 10K series that I am dearly, dearly missing in all this madness.

Maybe this isn't such a terrible Tuesday after all. Just a busy and somewhat uncomfortable one. I've written over on Writing Chapter Three how I feel totally enthused to make 2013 the best year yet. I am hoping it's infectious, if you need some spunk.

Enjoy your afternoon! And if you're also on Day 3 of the Sourdough Experiment, don't forget to feed your starter!!!

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Where I've Been

Hi. I sort of disappeared on you. I have more news in the ear saga . . . and I've now almost completely lost all faith in health care. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I went to the doctor on Monday with annoying excess ear wax. He told me to use drops (Debrox) and come back to get my ears cleaned on Friday.

On Tuesday night, I ended up going to the ER at 11 PM because each time had I used the drops, they wouldn't come out of my ear for 3 or 4 hours. They were starting to hurt. They made me dizzy. And I was having a slight panic attack because the combination of spins, not hearing, ringing, and sort of claustrophobic feeling was really getting to me.

The physician's assistant on duty was even worse than my doctor on Monday. Actually, she was the same one we were extremely unhappy with when Ada was sick and we had to go to urgent care a few months ago. At first, I only slightly recognized her, but as she continued "caring" for me, I soon remembered.

Anyway, she very harshly explained that I needed to get over it and just keep using the drops. She said it was perfectly normal for them to stay in for hours. She very rudely asked me "well, what do YOU think -- that they'd work if they just came out?" Well. The package says to tip your head so they will come out, so -- uh -- yeah, that's what I thought.

Furthermore, she couldn't clean out the wax because it was still too hard/impacted (ew). But there wasn't any infection, thankfully. Basically, I waited there for several hours to only be told to get over it, to ignore the discomfort, and go home.

Wednesday came. I decided to be brave and use the drops twice more as directed. They were stuck in my ears almost all day. They elicited more pain each time I used them. It was absolutely terrible. Stephen stayed home with me because caring for Ada is difficult when I can't hear out of one ear, when that ear hurts, and when I'm a combination of dizzy/nauseous.

It was a hellish day, but I decided enough was enough and that I'd go to a walk-in to get them cleaned out on Thursday. It would all be over soon, despite how I hate the idea of getting my ears cleaned out. I just wanted the whole thing to be over. I couldn't function all week.


So, Thursday. My parents came over to help me with babysitting, etc. My dad went with me (driving is hard when you're dizzy, too -- go figure!) and we waited an hour to get in. Finally I got a nice physician's assistant who immediately told me that there wasn't any wax in my ear. At all. Weird.

Oh, yeah. And . . . I now have an ear infection and a bad case of . . . swimmer's ear.

Hmmm. I wonder how THAT happened! Could it be that those drops staying in my ear for hours wasn't such a good thing after all? You know. The entire reason I went to the ER? Ugh.

So, I basically made myself sick this week while following doctor's orders. I haven't been on antibiotics in years and years. I can't even remember. Now I'm on a Z-pack and medicated ear drops (that thankfully come right out when I tip my head over). I freaked out a bit about breastfeeding, but my lactation consultant (SHE IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!) gave me the OK to continue. At least something went alright in this whole thing.

Have you ever had an extremely bad experience with your medical care?

While I was pregnant, I loved my midwives. They listened to my concerns. They validated the feelings I was experiencing. If something seemed off to me, they wouldn't shut it down with a "this can't happen" or another black and white response. They trusted that I was conveying things that had importance in the situation.

Now, I'm left feeling like I can't trust anyone, that no one listens to me, and that I will never find a care professional for myself (OR for the rest of my family, for that matter) that I can feel comfortable with again. I liked my PA at the walk-in, but he doesn't take regular patients. So frustrating!

I apologize if this seems like a huge rant. Well, forget that word "seems". It is a huge rant. I just can't believe that this could have been avoided somehow. I don't know exactly where in the chain it would have been made different, but obviously something went wrong.

Here's a new vocab word for you all:

i·at·ro·gen·ic: Adjective; Of or relating to illness caused by medical examination or treatment.

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