My Month of Yoga + Future Plans

How do I feel after engaging in regular yoga practice this month? I feel like a changed person. I realize how dramatic that sounds. But it's true. I set out at the start of the month to take three yoga classes a week at the studio where I got an introductory pass for just $40. I stuck with it and attended each and every class. I have just one left on my pass, which brings my total hours of yoga this month to nearly 24 hours. A full day of yoga.

I'm almost certain that's more hours of yoga than I've done in the past two or three years combined.

What I've noticed after all of this bending and stretching is no surprise. My strength and flexibility are greatly increased. Having practiced yoga since age 18, whether intensely or not-so, as well as having a childhood of gymnastics and dance . . . I will say that I've always been sort of "good" at it. About halfway through the month, it was like a switch flipped and all those years of work had come back. I can do splits again. I can put myself into wheel with ease. And it all feels really, REALLY good.

There are also things I just, well, can't do. I used to get so frustrated. But something has changed in my practice. I don't care so much about striking photo-worthy poses just to strike them or to show off. I am all about alignment and doing it the "right" way now. I have much more satisfaction with the journey rather than the destination. Maybe it's being older and having less ego as I approach the mat. The mind-body connection makes more sense now. It's everything.

Whatever the case, I cannot afford to keep up at this pace with studio classes. In February, I plan to scale back to two classes a week, which will be approximately $20/week or $80 for the whole month. In March, track season starts, and I'll be lucky if I get to one studio class a week. So, I figure it's worth the investment. I'll be supplementing with home practice to try to keep up with three to four hours of yoga week. My favorite YouTuber is Yoga with Adriene.

I also have a 5-year plan of sorts.

Eeek!

I hesitate to share because I always have this fear I won't actually do whatever it is I set out to do. I also haven't had a plan in quite a while, so it's both exciting and scary to be thinking this way. I'd like to take a teacher training by age 40 with the hope of deepening my own relationship with yoga and possibly teaching a few classes on the side. Basic trainings in my area can be completed in 10 full weekends for around $3,000. Why age 40? If we have another child, I don't see starting the process for a few more years. Plus, with Stephen's coaching schedule, it's not feasible, but that may change in the future.

Yoga + running. That's been my harder balance to strike. I've been running only between 12 and 15 miles a week this whole month. It feels great. But it leaves me feeling conflicted. I think part of it has been the weather. Part of it has been the new focus and feeling guilty to take even more time to exercise (there's only so much time, right?!). I don't know where I am as a runner. It's still this big part of me, but I have absolutely no desire to race or train at high levels. I think when spring comes around, I'd like to be back up at running 20 miles a week, though.

So, that's that.

Are any of you guys yoga teachers? Or are you thinking of becoming one? I have two favorite instructors. One of them is my age and the other is in her mid-60s. I figure if I obtained my certification by age 40, that's still a whole career ahead of me!

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Running: 6 Reasons I Don't Race Anymore

Many of you have told me you started reading this blog back when Stephen and I were running all the time. You loved the running and racing tips and tricks I used to write. There are definitely a good number of posts on here dedicated to the novice and even advanced runner. (I didn't write those advanced ones -- Stephen did!) Regardless, some of you have asked over the years why the running part of the blog is somewhat quiet.

And, really, I suppose I haven't addressed it directly. Or maybe I have and just don't remember. In short: We had kids, so there's that. And Stephen started coaching both cross country and track for his high school. That takes a lot of time during the week and on weekends when we used to be training. Do we still run? Heck yes. But -- and I can only speak for myself here -- I have many reasons why I've stopped racing in formal events.

1.) Cost

First and foremost, we have a family now (did you know? LOL). You guys know how much I write about our budget. With adding little ones and choosing to work from home, we've taken a financial hit. Not in a way where we cannot afford basic necessities. But running can be an expensive hobby, as much as we'd like to pretend it isn't.

There's the shoes. I only get like two pairs a year, but Stephen needs more because he wears his out quickly. (BTW: I wearing these Nike Free Distance shoes lately -- they are probably my favorite shoe I've ever had. If you're interested, let me know and I'll do a review of them for you!)

Racing is -- yup -- yet another cost. In fact, this morning I got slightly inspired to run the local half marathon. Mostly because it would give me an excuse to run 13 miles next weekend. But it's $80. Not the most expensive. But I immediately thought about how that could buy two takeout meals at our favorite restaurant. Or a week's worth of groceries at Aldi. And if you don't think running impacts your grocery bill, I don't know what to say. We eat a lot if we're training high mileage.

2.) Time

I hate to use my kids as an excuse, but you simply have less time with a family versus being single. I know moms who get up at 5AM and work out. Or who work out late. I get up at 5AM to work these days, so that's out. (Working from home with just one child is a piece of cake. Two or more? Nightmare. I'll write more about this soon.) I often work after the kids go to bed. I can jog with the stroller (here's how to start), but it's much harder so I only do it a few times a week. And with Stephen gone so much, our family time is at a premium.

Time is one reason I've put the marathon training on hold for the time being. I started it up when we weren't in a coaching season. Sunday long runs were awesome. Now that I'm alone with the kids almost Monday through Saturday, Sundays have become sacred. We both still run, but I'm less inclined to go over 10 miles. And I'm OK with that. I actually love feeling energized on the weekends. When I used to do back-to-back 10- and 20-milers, I'd need to basically lay on the couch a lot.

I guess as a sub-reason, races aren't the most convenient things either. With nursing, I'd have to pump. I don't like pumping and Eloise doesn't take bottles. I also don't think my kids want to be dragged to events. Maybe ever so often, but not weekly or several times a month.

3.) Flexibility

There's something beautiful about shedding the rigidity of a training plan. It makes you feel so much less guilty for missing runs if you're sick, injured, or whatever else. It lends to a more balanced life. Of course, having a bit more discipline would probably have me a bit trimmer and fitter -- but I'm favoring moderation in all things these days.

If the weather is really crappy -- whatever. I'll run later in the week. If I'm just not feeling it, I'll take an hour-long restorative walk. Or do yoga. Or go see a friend. The thing I'm not doing is fretting about missing my miles because I've got a race coming up. I remember trying to trudge through with bronchitis to meet my weekly mileage and getting even sicker as a result. Or feeling really cruddy because my legs were like dead weights. I know that pain is change, but I'd rather just feel good, be active, and be slightly less bad-ass.

4.) Desire

Yeah. My actual desire to run races has certainly waned. I was never one to do them to collect race swag or metals or shirts. Honestly, I have never really enjoyed the act of racing. It was more of a compulsion to get better times. That's OK. It doesn't make me any less of a runner. There's a certain thrill that comes with achieving a new milestone, like a half or full marathon. I've been there and done that. It doesn't thrill me anymore, so the desire to chase that feeling isn't there as much.

I think it's awesome when other people do events and I can tell they are getting a huge emotional boost out of it. I could take or leave that feeling. Of course, it's nice to feel like you've DONE something. But I ran two half marathons in March on my own (well, with my buddy -- but we weren't in an organized race) and still felt pretty awesome.

5.) Motivation

I guess this goes with motivation, too. I'm not motivated with my running to achieve a PR right now. I would like to get faster, but in the years before we had Eloise, my fitness took a dramatic turn. Having multiple miscarriages can really do a number on the body. I kept active throughout it all, but with being pregnant, not, having surgery, etc. -- my race times just aren't what they used to be. You'd think that would give me more motivation to "get back" . . . but it doesn't.

I'm cool with chugging along between 8:45 and 10 minutes per mile, depending on the distance and hill factor. Maybe this summer I'll find myself doing some repeats on a track. Maybe not. I think my motivation these days is much more mental. I get a lot out of just logging the miles and taking the time for myself.

6.) Zen stuff, etc.

Which brings me to being a Zen runner. I won't lie -- I do track my times lately. It's more about tracking my total steps (more on this soon!). I would say in the past, though, I more often than not did not wear a watch on my runs. I would rather map out the distance in Google maps ahead of time and finish. I get so much from just doing the run. I don't really care so much about the stats. Sometimes I do. You know how it is.

Running is my happy place. I do it to do it. I do me. You do you. But if you don't want to race, that doesn't mean you're not a "real" runner or nonsense like that.

* * * * * * * * 

Anyway, the biggest and best reward for all my years of running came this weekend. (This is about the photo above.) Totally unprompted, Ada came up to me as I was lacing my shoes and asked if she could go running with me. She got all dressed and we ran a mile together in a little under twelve and a half minutes. The whole time, I could tell she was so proud of herself. We finished, she gave me a high five and was just BEAMING with excitement to tell Stephen all about it.

And that's all I really need!

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Happy is Within Reach

I got a few things at Wegmans yesterday to tide us over until our next monthly grocery shopping trip. The lines were long for some reason, so I decided to read some headlines on the magazines at the checkouts.

And then I saw this gem:

Of course, I was immediately reminded of the High School Skinny post I did a long time ago.

Drop 43 pounds by Memorial Day? The date on the magazine says May 3.

Belly fat goes first? I didn't think you could target weight-loss.

81 percent fewer cravings in just 48 hours? How was that determined?

Reprogram your metabolism. Uh, huh.

And -- my favorite -- HAPPY IS WITHIN REACH

You know, just randomly thrown in.

Along with SLIM A DOUBLE CHIN

First off, how can anyone, save Biggest Loser contestants (and you know how I feel about that show!), lose 43 pounds in a month? Second, I totally see how this appeals to people. There's so much promise on this page. It makes life seem so simple. Your weight is keeping you down. Making you sad. Making you feel ugly inside and out. See those beautiful movie stars? Well, they sneak charcoal into their smoothies. If you do X, Y, and Z . . . not only will you lose weight, you'll lose LOTS of it and FAST.


Only, I'm sure nobody gets enough close to reaching what these things promise. It got me thinking: How are these publications still on the shelves? Who is buying this crap? My first exposure to these crash and fad diet magazines was in high school when my boyfriend's mother tried the cabbage soup diet. That was nearly 20 years ago, and I know they've been around longer than that.

* * * * * * * *

So many thoughts. All the thoughts. Which brings me to an update on my own weight. I am "stuck" at 145 pounds. No matter what I do. Weight Watchers certainly helped me clean up my act nutritionally, and I thank it for that. But I've decided not to continue my membership for the time being. There's more going on besides what I eat. I am almost certain I won't lose any more until I wean, and that's cool with me, albeit somewhat annoying.

In the meantime, I'm staying active. Wearing my Garmin VivoSmart, and it's working out great. I got 14,000 steps yesterday. I always go back and forth on wearing it all day, and then I realize when I wear it that I truly do feel more motivated to take a quickie walk or just do something to get my body in motion.

I may not lose 43 pounds this month (what a weirdly specific number, no?) . . . but that's not what health and, yeah, HAPPINESS is about. I will admit that I probably think about these matters more than I'd like. But even I understand that happiness isn't achieved in reaching a number on the scale. That's so much deeper. And shame on people who put out a message that says otherwise -- and profit from it, no less.

Rant over! Happy Thursday!

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Fitness + Stuff

I posted a photo of myself on Instagram yesterday after I had completed a tough 28-minute workout. You see, I started the BBG program by Kayla Itsines way back in early October. I should be on week 10, but I got through week two, and that's when Eloise's sleep started falling apart. Between that, many kid sicknesses, and my own bronchitis (that's been lingering almost three weeks), I've not been doing much running. Or working out, in general.

(I still need to do a post on our basement gym!)

I feel tired, weak, and my clothes are tighter than I'd like. And I even mean my LuLaRoe leggings. Seriously. Now that my coughing is getting (slightly) better, I'm trying to get back into the groove -- slowly, but surely. I started with week 1, workout 1 of BBG yesterday. It kicked my butt! I ended the day with a 30-minute walk around the neighborhood to look at Christmas lights. It was a win for me, fitness-wise.

Today I am hoping to run 3-4 miles. We'll see. The cold air hasn't been agreeing with me. If not, we dusted off the old spinning bike, so I could see myself doing some static cycling while watching an episode of Fixer Upper. Tomorrow, I'll do BBG workout number 2. Many of you asked for my opinions on the program, but I'd like to wait until I've been doing it longer.

In short: I think it's really effective. I love the format, the length, and the overall goal of strength, etc.


Switching gears: We have booked our summer vacation as of this morning!

We'll be staying at this little house in Cape May right near the downtown. It's the same place we stayed in way back in 2015. Instead of being smack in the middle of my two-week wait this time around (ending with two stark negative pregnancy tests taken at the house -- boo), we'll have sweet Eloise with us. She'll be 13 months by then. That's wild to even think about.

We will also be spending time with Stephen's family the following week in nearby Wildwood Crest. It's like the best of both worlds, especially for the girls. Ada absolutely loves the beaches. I merely mentioned Cape May this morning, and she was listing off a long list of things she wants to do. Top of the list? Riding her scooter on the sidewalks straight to the ocean.


Last for today: We are certainly decking the halls! I will be sure to share how we're getting festive over here soon. If you're still in the beginning stages of decorating and cozy-ing up, be sure to check out my post from last year on the matter. You can also see an awful photo of me wearing hair extensions and too much eyebrow pencil. Yikes.

Happy Tuesday, friends! I'll be back this week with my final gift-giving list (for the ladies), a Christmas bucket-list, and maybe even a new crock pot recipe. I also recently went to Aldi and -- whoa -- they have SO MUCH new stuff I want to tell you about. Veggie burgers, in particular. Very good.

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How to // Roast Frozen Veggies

My sister-in-law is like the fittest, healthiest person I know. (She's also a Pilates instructor in LA -- so you know she's got some street cred!) We had a brief chat yesterday about health and stuff, and she really inspired me to get my act together.

I have this vision of myself that's sort of, well, incredibly outdated. I was in my twenties, running marathons, lifting weights, and eating clean basically all the time.

Fast forward a good six years later? I have two awesome girls, I still keep at the running, and my diet just never recovered. Overall, I do pretty well keeping active and incorporating good foods into my routine. But also overall, I have a lot I could improve upon that would make me feel a whole lot better.

I exercise like crazy because I love to move. I love running slow and long, fast and short, doing intervals, etc. I try to run 4-5 days a week. Usually 3-5 miles and then a long run. The one area I've neglected for so long is strength. I'm making up for it now with my kettlebell addiction. I have also started incorporating quick and intense workouts by Kayla Itsines into my routine. I try to do either these activities (or Barre3) 4 times a week.

Sometimes I get in a quality 30 minutes. Other times? The nap ends early and I get in a quick 10. But it's better than nothing and I think it's already helping my overall fitness. In other words: Exercise is covered.

The diet portion. Oh, man. Let's just say, I have gotten more than comfortable eating what I like, when I like, and as much as I like. Some of this is good. I don't like the idea of "bad" foods or having things off limits. And I need good sized portions to fuel workouts. That being said, I've needed to cool it with the carbs and sugar for a while. I need these things to support breastfeeding, but the lazy sleep-deprived mom in me just can't get my act together to cook and plan ahead so the healthier stuff can take over.

I mean, when I hear random people say they don't have time for exercise, I sort of definitely roll my eyes. We all have 10 minutes here and there throughout the day to do SOMEthing. Set the alarm earlier, carve out a quickie workout while watching TV, etc. Yet, here I am making a long list of excuses about not having time or motivation to eat well. Oh, the hypocrisy!

// ROAST THOSE FROZEN VEGGIES

I'm trying to do better. Right now, I'm loosely following the Tone It Up 31-day eating challenge. Mostly, I'm using their 5-a-day meal pattern and recipe suggestions to guide myself into better eating. One of the things I learned from these ladies is that you can make a "tray dinner" where you roast a bunch of veggies and a protein all at the same time for a quick and easy meal.

Guess what! I looked up on The Kitchn that you can even roast FROZEN veggies. This is a huge game-changer. It's completely transformed my lunchtime routine. (Make ahead the night before or make it in the moment -- whatever works for you.)


Here's how you do it:

• Preheat your oven to 450 degrees F. 
• Place a baking sheet inside that has a tablespoon or more oil on it to preheat.
• Put on your frozen veggies when the oven is hot. Coat a bit in the oil.
• Roast 30-45 minutes or so, until browned.
• I like to add chickpeas or tofu to my mix and cook everything together.  
• Oh, and I also don't stick to just traditional roasted veggies. I roast stir-fry mixes!
• Then I like to drizzle on some Mirin, tamari, hot sauce, or whatever else makes sense.

Who's going to try this trick today!?

Also: Who has good protein powder recipes for energy balls, etc.? I tried one and, uh, it tastes like cardboard.

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Running After Baby // Week 9

Here's a topic I've wanted to write more about on the blog for a long time: Running! It seems like years since I've engaged in any sort of formal training. Or since I've had any real running goals. I am beyond ready to dive in and get my legs back.

This run was a promising start.

A photo posted by A S H L E Y // neverhomemaker (@neverhomemaker) on Aug 15, 2016 at 5:24am PDT

Two of the five miles (miles 3 and 4) were run under 8-minute pace (7:55, 7:53). Boy did I feel it today! As the mornings get slightly cooler, I can see my paces getting faster. I really don't like running in the summer sun and humidity, so I am looking forward to more runs like this one once the fall weather sets in.

Goals:

I am currently following the Hal Higdon novice 1 half marathon plan with hopes of running a 10-miler in mid-November. I don't have a pace goal at this point. I'm just looking to start my journey by getting my endurance back.

A photo posted by A S H L E Y // neverhomemaker (@neverhomemaker) on Aug 1, 2016 at 5:35am PDT

If you've followed me a long while, you know that running full marathons isn't my thing. I have trained and gotten injured too many times to want to attempt that distance anytime soon (or ever) again. So, my ultimate training goal -- long term -- is to finish a half marathon in under 1:40. I tried a few years after Ada was born and go close with something in the 1:42 range.

But that's a long way off. Right now? I'm getting ready to lace up at the start of a 5K tomorrow night. I'd love to just run under 8:30s the whole time, but I am worried I may have spent my speedy legs too soon this week. We shall see what happens. I'm more interested in getting back into the running culture in our area. I used to do Sunday long runs every week with a great group of women, and I miss that time!

Other stuff:

I'm experimenting with becoming a morning runner. I much prefer running in the evening, but Stephen's cross country schedule will end up conflicting with that. I am finding if I wake up whenever Eloise eats around 5-6 AM, that I love getting out and starting the day by sweating. I usually have to pump a bit, but it's been nice to build a little breast milk stash that way.

I have set a goal this month to start doing core exercises. I have been totally cleared and all that jazz. I do some already through Barre, but I might ask Stephen to "train" me by encouraging me to do what he has this athletes do. I'll report back progress. I'd also like to get into the groove with doing push-ups again. It's been a really long time. I can do like 10 without whining, and I used to do 50 with no problem!

Last, we live a mile from a track, so I'm hoping -- like I did after I had Ada -- to do a timed mile soon. From there, I like to track my progress and see how that mile time gets faster as the months go on. I will probably do that starting next week and go from there. My fastest mile two months postpartum last time around was 7:45.

What's on your race calendar or goals list lately? 

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Body After Baby // Week 6

You guys! I am on the highest of highs right now. I just finished my first fast workout in what seems like forever. I had given up on hard running when I was experiencing recurrent pregnancy loss. So, I'd say that was a year and a half ago? I thought somehow running with much effort had something to do with all that. I mean, I was always looking for something to blame (and my doctor assures me the running had nothing to do with it).

EXERCISE

Fast forward to now -- 6 weeks postpartum -- and I woke up feeling great. But I didn't feel like doing my usual 3-mile slog through the neighborhood. It's hot, sunny, and I'm kind of bored with it and need to get back to my old routes. Today's solution: You might remember that we bought a treadmill this year. I looked up some interval workouts and found this one on PopSugar.

I feel like it's the perfect mix of gentle and challenging to get back into the swing of things. (Somehow I didn't follow it exactly and did a lot more of the 7-8 MPH -- oops!)

FOOD

Going dairy free has had an interesting side effect. I'm only a couple days in, but the food choices I've been making overall have been much healthier. I've been consuming a lot more protein and less carbs. I've been choosing more fruits and veggies and shunning more desserts.

I will probably break from the dairy free just briefly this weekend when we visit my parents in Wellsboro. It's my birthday, and I would like to indulge in some cake and home treats I only get on occasion. (There this food truck that has THE BEST grilled cheese!)


I do wonder, though, for those of you nursing mamas who went without dairy: Did you notice a change in your supply? I feel like I've had slightly less milk the last few days. But I realize it might also have to do with reaching 6 weeks, which is when things regulate a bit, right? I'm trying to add more fats to my diet regardless. An avocado a day . . . :)

CONFIDENCE

My body hasn't changed much in the last several weeks, but I don't really mind it much. It took a long time to get pregnant, a long time to cook baby, and it'll take a long time to reach "normal" again. And I know from having Ada that "normal" will be different anyway. I actually felt like I got fitter in some ways after I had her despite not having my body look like it did when I was younger.


Exercising and eating well is making me feel so great. We've been sleeping better, too. Eloise had been doing some 5-6 hour sleeping stretches while on vacation. Since we've returned it's been more like 4 -- but it's all good.

So, that's week 6 in my postpartum fitness and body journey. I'll be back tomorrow with reflections from vacation (as well as some essentials for taking a newborn to the beach).

Happy Wednesday!

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Body After Baby // Week 3

You guys said you wanted to hear more about the postpartum period, both with adjusting to life with two kids and with regard to recovery. So, today I'm going to write about my recovery so far (Eloise is 3 weeks old as of yesterday), as well as some of the differences from the first time around.

You always hear that all pregnancies are different. And I've learned that this statement totally applies to recoveries as well. When I had Ada, I felt so much pain after birth. My tailbone hurt. My tear stung. I had issues with urine leakage. I generally felt blah and spent a great deal of time on the couch. I did start running (too) soon after giving birth (within a couple weeks), and I know I shouldn't have because I was still bleeding (which increased and turned bright red with activity), having a lot of pelvic pain and, yeah, leaking. Still, the exercise gave me something normal to grasp onto, so I kept it up.

This time around, I don't feel like I just have a baby. I feel, well, surprisingly normal despite carrying a little extra weight. I am thanking my lucky stars for it, too. I think two pushes versus two plus hours of pushing may be to credit for some of it. I did have tearing just as significant as I did with Ada, but it didn't/doesn't hurt and is healing well. I also stopped bleeding during week two. Instead of wanting to spend days on the couch, I've been itching to get out and about thanks to the summer weather. Movement feels good and even therapeutic.

As far as stats go, I gained a total of 24 pounds in my pregnancy, topping off at 162. Here are a couple photos from two weeks postpartum.

I lost 16 in the week or so after giving birth. I have only lost another one since. I am at 145 pounds right now. My goal is to eventually get back to 135 pounds, which is where I seem to stick after kids. Before kids I was more like 125, but I find this weight takes a ton of diet and exercise, more than I'm willing to do at this stage of life. I know it could take a while to get back to a goal weight, especially since nursing isn't some magic weight loss cure for me. I held on to 8 pounds while nursing Ada for 17 months.

I don't have any diet plans right now. I am loosely tracking what I eat, mostly to keep a log of how much protein I'm getting in each day. (I'm trying to consume at least 65 grams per day.) I struggle getting enough, so I write down what I ate and -- next to it -- I write the grams of protein. I am also trying to keep an eye on my sugar intake. I'm not limiting myself, but I have a sweet tooth that can go easily out of control. Eloise also tends to nurse right during my meals, which makes me want to grab a quick cookie instead of waiting to make a good lunch with eggs, greens, and whole grains.

I am also back exercising with no pain or incontinence issues. I know it's like TMI to keep writing that -- yes -- I leaked after Ada's birth. But it's just a reality of the postpartum period that few people talk about. This time around I haven't had any urine mishaps. My bleeding has stopped and hasn't increased with activity. And I don't have any pelvic pain. It's kind of incredible.

I know very well that my body is still healing, though, so here's a rundown of what I've been doing.

• I am sticking to slow two to three mile jogs about every other day. After Ada, despite all the issues I was having, I pushed myself to go farther and farther and didn't rest between sessions. I also wanted to get back to my paces ASAP. This time around, I don't even take a watch, but I estimate I'm running 10 minute miles. I go slow and walk whenever I feel like I just don't want to push. I also make sure to do a little walking before/after the jogging to warm up and cool down.
• I have done some Barre workouts. These feel amazing to stretch and strengthen my body. Again, I don't do anything that's over 30 minutes, and I don't do more than one type of workout per day. 
• I am also thinking of starting a yoga challenge (on YouTube) and trying to get in at least 10 minutes of stretching and relaxation each day.
• Other days, like today, I just do gentle walking. I have no races on the calendar or other reason to be in any kind of mode where I NEED to do exercise all the time.
• If at any point, I do get pain or other signs I need to step back, I will. But my midwife said to go ahead and do what feels good as it feels good.

That's how recovery is going. At least at week three. I won't be updating every single week like I did the last time around. So, maybe look for another one of these posts around week 6. I would like to run a 5K in late August. Not for time, obviously, but it's a Women's Distance Festival that I try to participate in every year. I suppose that's my current fitness goal. I look forward to updating you on how it's going!

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Monday Motivation: 5 Things To Do Today

Spring is giving me this whole new awakening. I'm shedding layers and embracing what's ahead with as much positivity as I can muster. The thing is, I am often lost for inspiration. I need a little nudge to get myself going and fully riding these good vibes. So, I thought I'd share a few things that have me feeling good lately. And they very well might be things you want or need to do, too.

Here are 5 things to do for yourself today. They might seem small or insignificant or even silly, but I'm betting that we all need a reminder to get going from time to time. If you're short on time, try to dedicate just 10-15 minutes to each "task" and go from there. That's just around an hour to a better day/week.

#1: Move your body.

I don't care if you run a marathon or just do a workout video for 10 minutes. But move your body. I'm sure we've all made so many excuses for why "today just isn't a good day" for working out. Try to shift your mindset. Moving your body doesn't always have to mean intense calorie burn or exercise for gains. It's just, well, movement. Motion. Getting into a good flow can help your mind move to new locations, too.

What I'm doing today: During nap time (or quiet time), I'm working on some freelance deadlines. Still, I'm going to bust out a 30-minute Barre workout, even if it means I need to work into the late night hours. Probably one that's more focused on stretching than strength.

#2: Go outside.

It's rainy and cold here today, but I'm still planning to go outdoors when we get a break from the precipitation. The time change -- however exhausting -- is incredible because it means so much more daylight. And even though it's still a bit chilly, that fresh air does wonders for these stuffy lungs. Even in the dead of winter when it's below zero, I try to get myself outside for at least a bit each day (10 minutes is better than nothing!).

What I'm doing today: Rain or shine, I'm going to walk outdoors for 30 minutes before dinner.

#3: Clean out a corner. 

Or a drawer. Or an entire room. Let it breathe. You can spend 15 minutes or hours on this activity, depending on your workload. Toss away anything that has been hanging around for far too long. Give something once cherished to a friend. Move the rest back into their intended spots in your home. Then marvel at the emptiness and organization of that space. Let that empty space sink in and make room for new opportunities and goals.

What I'm doing today: After a weekend of massive clearing out of our main living level (hooray for progress on my Spring Cleaning Goals!), I'm turning my attention upstairs to my office (whoa, I don't know how it got this messy!) and Ada's bedroom (the big winter to spring clothing switch!). I'll probably spend an hour organizing these space while Ada does art after her nap.

#4: Feed yourself.

Cooking doesn't have to be this intense process that takes hours. Heck, I work from home and still manage to not find time to cook a "proper" meal on many days. Whether it's a smoothie or a salad, a stir-fry or a full-on 3-course dinner, take time to connect with food. One trick I've been using lately since Stephen has started coaching is buying bags of frozen veggie mixes. I can prepare a protein and side like rice and then just steam or otherwise cook the veggies for a quick meal.

What I'm doing today: I already made myself (and Ada) a glorious smoothie this morning with bananas, strawberries, blueberries, kefir, oats, peanut butter, and arugula. Great way to start the day. I'm hoping to prepare some kind of creative carrot soup for dinner tonight because we have SO MANY CARROTS and I don't want them to go to waste. I also need to plan our meals for the week because I fell behind.

#5: Cross something off.

We all have to-do lists. Mine sits in a mental drawer that I often forget to open. And then days and weeks will pass, and those items stay on there -- stagnant. Eventually, they contribute to this unsettling weight of mental clutter. I find myself feeling behind and disorganized and otherwise frenzied, which just paralyzes me on certain days when life is hectic. Time to get to doing.

What I'm doing today: I'm writing down my to-do list so I can post it someplace in my home and stop fretting over it in the hour or so before I fall asleep. The item I hope to cross off today? Finishing a chunk of tax-related stuff that has been sitting in my folder for a week. I cannot wait to get my taxes done!

What are you doing for yourself today?

Happy Monday. I hope it's a good one!

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Santa Run 2015

My alternate title for this post is “My First and Only Race During This Pregnancy.” And it has nothing to do with the event itself. It was a fun race. Lots of great volunteer support. Great activities for the kids. Tons of community out cheering.

It’s just . . . I haven’t run in an event since the Laurel Festival 10K back in June. In fact, I haven’t run in more than a handful of races over the past year and a half. I used to love spending my weekends lining up at the start. Progressively, my interests have changed -- but I’ve kept up with the running regardless.

So, back to Sunday. It’s December . . . and it’s over 60 degrees. I can’t even believe it. I had toyed with doing this 5K, but didn’t give it much thought. Stephen was the one who urged me to participate because the weather was just so amazing. Sunny and gorgeous. We all hopped in the car early so Ada could do the kids’ race.

She and I both wore fun + festive costumes.

Ada did great, by the way! She’s only ever “raced” a couple kid runs. I hate to say it, but she has fallen at most of them. We never make her do them. But we told her she could try, and she got all excited.

She didn’t just want to run. She wanted to win! (She didn’t. But all the kids got a special prize at the end, so she thinks she did!)


The 5K started about an hour after the kids’ run. I spent the bulk of the time going to and from the bathroom because I was drinking all the water. I mean, it was really warm. I didn’t want to take any chances getting dehydrated. I took my last bathroom break with 10 minutes till the gun would go off and headed down to the start.

During those 10 minutes my bladder somehow filled up again -- to capacity. Ugh. I started the race uncomfortable and just wanted to stop. But I decided I’d forge on. I didn’t wear a watch because I didn’t want to know my time. Instead, I tried chatting with people near me and even talking to myself. If I could speak full sentences, I was golden. And I felt completely comfortable and strong the entire way.

Still, somewhere in the middle of the race, I got to thinking. Yeah. It was fun being out there running in an event. But I had basically paid $25 to do a 5K jog I could have done out my front door . . . sans needing to pee the whole time. I decided right then that I’ll save my money for baby stuff. This would be my first and last race during this pregnancy. Then, as I rounded the corner for the final straight away, I had to fight the urge to speed up.

That’s the other thing. Though I haven’t been racing in the last year or more, I still had been running pretty fast (for me). The competitive stuff doesn’t really go away when you’re in the moment. I struggled to remember during the race that I am pregnant. After all, I’m not really showing and I don’t have many aches and pains yet. Then I’d remember and be like “ugh! what’s my heart rate? I feel great but I don’t want to push it” -- it was a constant battle in my head.

I’m not trying to knock doing events while pregnant. I did several 5Ks and a half marathon with Ada. I think in my first pregnancy running was much more about proving to myself that my whole life wouldn’t change if I had a baby. Now that I know there is balance after birth, I don’t need reminders. At least not yet. And I also think the circumstances and challenges that led to this pregnancy have put me in a different mindset.


I crossed the finish in just under 30 minutes. My official chip time was 29:32, so 9:30/mile. That’s obviously not fast (in fact, it’s my slowest timed 5K to date), but it’s about minute per mile faster than I’ve been running at home. I could feel proud, but I -- instead -- was more freaked out that I pushed too hard compared to my new normal.

I’ll keep up with my slow 5K runs around the neighborhood. I’ll probably even look up a few fun events to run several months after giving birth. For now, I’m hanging up my “racing” shoes. At the same time, I am glad I ran. It was run dressing up and Ada certainly enjoyed all the costumes and activities! We’ll probably spectate while Stephen does a Christmas Cookie race next week.

PS: Christmas! No joke: We just started really shopping and making presents! Ahh. 

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How I’m Moving These Days

Hey, friends. Still no food to share on the blog. You can catch some of our Thanksgiving foods on Instagram. I went with my original menu and then decided to turn the mashed potatoes into a shepherd’s pie for our main course. It was tough, but I managed to cook everything without getting too sick.

I had trouble actually eating a ton of it, but SUCCESS.

When I was pregnant with Ada, I actually took over a month off from blogging because I was heavy into recipe posting those days and simply couldn’t handle looking at the food. This time around, I don’t plan to totally break, but my frequency with posting has certainly tanked . . . and I’m hoping that will change soon.

Like I want to share my cranberry applesauce this week! So good!

// EXERCISE IN PREGNANCY AFTER MISCARRIAGE(S)

I have received a few questions since I got pregnant this time around about exercise. Pregnancy is already a touchy and personal time for workouts. Pregnancy after miscarriage is a whole new animal for me. So, I thought I’d share what I’ve been up to in the last 10 or so weeks to move my body.

I stopped running entirely in my two week wait. I don’t really know why. I just had this feeling like I wanted to stop. I took lots of walks around my neighborhood between 2 and 5 miles, though. I needed to do something to get rid of my nervous energy. Then when I got a positive pregnancy test, I freaked out. I had a positive the month before that ended in a chemical pregnancy, so I decided I wanted to be extra careful. I kept up with walking 4 to 5 days a week (including walking Ada to and from school) until my first appointment at almost 6 weeks.

My doctor told me that running cannot cause miscarriage. He just flat out said it when I expressed concern. Heck -- we still don’t know why I kept miscarrying -- we may never know -- so I wanted to exhaust all possible reasons. He told me to run if I would promise him I wouldn’t blame the running if I had another miscarriage. That night I went for a three mile jog at like 10:30/mile pace. It felt amazing.

Now I’m 10 weeks + 2 days pregnant, and I’ve been running 3 to 4 days a week most weeks since.  I walk Ada to and from school 3 to 4 days of the week too. If I don’t feel like running, I try to at least walk a couple miles or do a short Barre workout. My pace hovers between 10 to 11 minutes a mile. I run just three miles at a time and don’t plan to go farther. I keep feeling temptation to go longer, but I think I have found a plan that works for me.

When I was pregnant with Ada, I ran a half marathon at the start of my second trimester and kept up double digits long runs until the 20-week mark, so this reduced mileage and pace is different for me. I have this whole section on the site with my pregnant running feats, and I just can’t identify with that girl anymore, but I am also so OK with it. Beyond OK.

PS: I take a watch on most runs to make sure I keep my pace over 10 minutes a mile.


Sure. I could probably be doing more. All these moms on my birth board remind me of my old self -- posting workouts, sharing brief race recaps, basically not missing a beat. But I just don’t care. I have found a groove where I feel comfortable and healthy and balanced and far less anxious. I don’t push myself beyond any points of comfort or exhaustion. I take days off when I’m really sick (like today -- ugh). I slow myself down if I can’t read a street sign without labored breathing.

I guess I wanted to share this because I feel like there’s just so much pressure out there to be this pregnancy rockstar, especially with regard to weight and fitness. I can’t count the number of things I’ve read or overheard totally focused on the number on the scale or doing X minutes on the treadmill. When I was pregnant with Ada, I thought about these things constantly. I worried so much about losing myself, my body, and my mind if I couldn’t keep up with the running and exercise.

The thing is: Exercise during pregnancy is so personal.

I got insanely lucky the first time. It wasn’t necessarily my dedication or athletic prowess. It was luck with getting pregnant quickly, staying pregnant, and being able to maintain a high activity level. Thing time around, I know it’s important to keep up with some type of movement . . . but I truly understand it’s not the time to prove anything to myself or others. It’s about getting to a more important finish line. And I’ve been training for this one wayyyyyy longer than any marathon cycle I ever tried.

I’m feeling good about how I’m treating my body these days. I am OK with giving up running whenever my body (and baby) sends me the signal that it’s done. For now, I enjoy my half hour jogs, my long walks, and just taking care of myself. I’ll get it back after the baby is born. I’m already dreaming of a few half and full marathons -- but postpartum fitness is a whole different story, and I have a whole long post in me about how that is going to change, too. Check back with me in late June on that one.

Moms! How did your attitude toward exercise change during pregnancy? If you have more than one child, did you do the same types of things during both pregnancies? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this whole thing. And if you’re not missing a beat -- more power to you.

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How I’m Moving These Days

A couple notes on fitness today. I’ve started a loose 10K training plan. I don’t have a race in mind, but after months of not running on any sort of plan, I was craving some structure. I’m still trying to balance TTC with running and exercise. Though I ran a 12-miler the day before getting my positive pregnancy test with Ada, the trouble we’ve having this time around has me set on a more conservative approach.

// RUNNING

Yes. I’m frustrated with it. And many of you have told me I don’t need to worry about mileage while TTC. I’m doing what I feel is right for me and my body. Unfortunately, there’s no one-size approach. What works for one person (or one pregnancy) isn’t necessarily the best choice for another.

Here’s the plan I’m currently following. I’m hoping to find some type of 10K to do in the fall just for fun. Though I am trying to do some speed one day a week, that’s not really my goal with this adventure. It’s more about getting myself on a plan and gaining motivation.

Onto week two!


I ran my first speed workout in what felt like years last week. I did a one mile warmup, then two timed miles -- the first at 7:32, the next at 7:25 -- and then a cool down. I’m not in peak shape, but I was incredibly surprised that I’ve retained any speed at all! Definitely encouraging. Just goes to show that consistent training over the years pays off, even if you have a lapse in serious training.

For the cross-training, I’ve been doing Barre3 workouts online.

// YOGA

I’ve also committed myself to yoga. I used to practice quite regularly. I’d take two classes a week and spend time on my mat at home. I fell (way!) out of this habit years ago. I was writing an article on yoga the other day, and I came across Yoga with Adriene on YouTube. I’ve been hooked on her classes ever since.

I even started the 30-Day Yoga Challenge.


I also took my first studio yoga class in years yesterday. It was an easy flow, and I think I’ll be returning to take at least one class per week once Ada starts preschool. I used to treat yoga like a major athletic event. I always wanted to feel the burn. These days? I’m enjoying the stress-relieving aspect and the stretching.

Feels gooooooooooooooooood!

How are you moving these days?

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Do you Tabata?

It was over 70 degrees on Saturday. I walked around the yard barefoot and drank a huge glass of wine while we cooked veggies and flatbread on the grill. “Ahhhhhh," I thought. "Spring has finally arrived!” And then today I woke up to the sound of wind. I immediately discovered grey skies spitting out fat snowflakes. My heart dropped in my chest and I had to go dig out my running tights, hat, and vest.

But I did it!

Today’s workout:

• 1 mile stroller run. The BOB was only full for .5 mile. Then I dropped Ada off an got a 33-pound break on the way home. 
• 10 minutes body weight + kettlebell moves (pushups, burpees, planks, squats, mountain climbers, swings, etc.)
• 1 mile interval run
• 10 minutes body weight + kettlebell
• 1 mile all-out run

BOOM! I haven’t exercised at a high intensity in quite some time, so it felt both grueling and amazing. I’m pretty sore right now, and I’d like to try and do something like this at least once a week. I need to learn or at least write down some more body weight exercises so I don’t just keep doing burpees when my mind blanks.

What are you favorites?

// TABATA

I’m really intrigued by this whole Tabata thing, you guys. I know some of you have commented on posts in the past when I’ve asked about different at-home workouts to try . . . and I definitely stored the word in the way, way back of my mind. I’ve been researching an article on fitness videos, and it finally clicked today.

Tabata sounds, well, awesome.

For those of you unfamiliar, this method of working out was created by Japanese scientist Dr. Izumi Tabata and a team of researchers. The gist is that you do high intensity moves in a 10/20 format. So, 10 seconds of rest with 20 seconds of work for eight cycles, which equals just four minutes total. Tabata works on both aerobic and anaerobic systems with quite a powerful punch in such a short time. You can read more about it here.

In addition to all the miles I slog, I know I need to get more intense bursts of activity and strength into my routine. (Which is why I mixed stuff up today.) The moves you do for Tabata workouts are really just body weight stuff. Pushups, planks, squats, kettlebells, etc. Anything and everything that works large muscle groups. I just love that it ’s SHORT. (Of course, you can string them together as well.)

Anyway, here’s a great example:



Do you Tabata?

Any good videos or workouts to share?

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Running From Square One

Over the last seven months, I have significantly changed my exercise routine. At first, it was in response to some weird stuff my body was doing that I thought was impacting TTC. Then, when I did finally get pregnant, I didn’t feel like forging on as a badass #motherrunner like I did in my pregnancy with Ada. Even before we knew something was wrong, I had decided against racing and running long distances because I wonder if it contributed to my irritable uterus. My activity -- instead -- was made up of several 3-4 mile runs, some at-home Barre workouts, hour-long walks, indoor cycling, and even some X-country skiing.

What a long, cold winter we had, eh?

Exercise related to pregnancy is definitely a highly personal choice. Beyond being a choice, it’s often dictated by certain conditions or situations specific to each woman. I know people who have run marathons while pregnant. Lifted huge and heavy weights. Etc. These women all delivered healthy babies -- and more power to them. At the same time, I see an alarming trend of treating pregnancy like a challenge. In some ways, I feel running -- at least longer distances -- during my first pregnancy was sometimes more about proving something to myself. So, that's why I had a change of heart this time around.

I was reading a Runner’s World post the other day where the author was offering suggestions for women who were returning to running after a long break during pregnancy. Then tons of women chimed in quite enthusiastically (and, yes, slightly judgmentally) about why there’s absolutely no reason to break. True. One had just completed a half marathon. Another ran with her stroller during pregnancy. Yet another ran something like five miles the morning she gave birth. These stories are inspirational. At the same time, many women wrote how they were unable to run for X, Y, Z reasons. Most felt bad or frustrated or upset in some other way, etc. I could sympathize. It’s also incredibly important for runners to treat running during pregnancy as an individual thing.

Both sides are totally legitimate and respectable.


Whatever the case, now that I’m back to just myself again, I’m trying to get in a better groove with moderate running. And guys . . . it’s so, so, so hard! I used to sign up for random half marathons just for fun. I’d do these events without real training and still finish around 1:45. I’m not bragging, but just showing that my fitness has taken a nose-dive. I ran my first 10K distance since January last night and felt like I was clinging to the edge of the earth to finish at around a 9-minute mile pace. I was proud of myself in the end, but my body ached, my lungs burned, and mentally it took everything I had.

I know running will get easier with more time and practice. I’m conflicted on where to go from here, though. I have around three months of waiting until we can try again, but at the same time, I don’t want to drastically change my activity level and risk messing up my cycle more than it’s already going to be wonky. It's tempting to sign up for a half marathon or just lots of races in general, but I think I’ll try to run mostly for myself. Maybe get up to some long run distances between 8-10 miles. Maybe not. Consistency is more important than distance or pace to me right now. Mentally and physically. I wrote about this before, but there are a couple 10Ks I might do, and I think I’ll leave it at that.

As for exercise and miscarriage, I know that I didn’t cause any harm by moving and grooving. My doctor told me the issue was very likely chromosomal, especially at this early stage. Still, I’ll be honest. There was part of me that felt like I had some control over the situation. I’m still looking for someone or something to blame, and I think that’s only natural in this part of the grieving process. I spent several weeks basically in bed thinking if I just rested I could turn my situation around. No amount of inactivity improved our outcome. I’m going to consult with my doctor over how I should approach running/exercise the next time I’m pregnant and try my best to strive for holistic health.


Are you coming back to running after a long break? 

What are your suggestions and tips for starting from square one? I’ll share that being patient with my body is the best thing I’m trying to do. Versus taking my watch on too many runs and scrutinizing how far I’ve fallen off the mark, I try to celebrate each run as the accomplishment it is. I couldn’t run 6.2 miles last week . . . and now I can. Who cares about the stats?

Happy Tuesday, friends!

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Food, Fitness, Family

FAMILY

Friends and family, I don’t even know where to begin thanking you for your incredible support after yesterday’s post concerning baby #2. Your personal stories, confidence, and love is completely humbling and so much appreciated. At this point, we are seriously torn and hoping Monday’s appointment will give us resolution either way. It’s the not knowing that hurts the most. I very badly want to be one of those beat-the-odds stories, but I’m also just grounded in reality after everything we’ve been through in the past.

Otherwise, we’re trying to go through the motions of life and keep things normal. A few of you asked if Ada knows what’s going on. We made the mistake of mentioning a baby early on (it took so long to get to that point, I was elated!), but we decided to keep it like “well, the doctor needs to tell us if there’s a baby in mommy’s tummy” -- so that’s what she understands now. She asks often. She’s been amazing, wiping tears from my eyes and cuddling with me during some tough moments. I am trying my best to stay strong and hold myself together for her benefit, though.

It’s Wednesday already, so only five or so days until we know. I think at this point, if things aren’t going to go well, I’m hoping for things to resolve naturally on their own. Like I wrote, I’ve been very sick -- way worse than I was with Ada -- and I’ve read that morning sickness can continue long after a pregnancy isn’t viable. What a cruel joke that would be. I’m honestly a little scared of going through a true miscarriage since my chemical pregnancy was more like a late period. Anyway, only time will give us answers. Thank you so much again for everything.

FOOD

I’ve had an extremely limited list of foods to go on lately. I’ve been eating Kix cereal like it’s my job. Choking down Siggi’s yogurt for some tart protein. Drinking ginger ale because sometimes it’s the only thing that works (those tiny slim cans are like medicine to me right now). Sorbet bars. It was like overnight I couldn’t eat vegetables anymore, though I’m trying to sip a green smoothies most days of the week.


And I’ve made lots of energy balls. I have a new recipe to share for a “cookie dough” variety, but right now I think I’ll just list the old favorites. I have made all these recipes multiple times. It’s great to have a batch in the refrigerator to grab for easy snacking.

• Chocolate Almond Butter Energy Chunks
• Cookie Dough Balls
• Double-Chocolate Granola-ish Bars
• Nutella Balls
• Cocoa-Hazelnut Energy Chunks
• Maple-Walnut Energy Chunks
• Marathon Chunks
• Chocolate-PB Energy Chunk
• Cacao Energy Chunk
• Runner's World Energy Bars
• Choc-PPB Energy BARS
• Chocolate Chunk Energy Cookies
• Nut Butter Energy Balls

FITNESS

Exercise is going OK-ish. I’ve been really tired and the weather had been so awfully cold (finally nice this week), so I haven’t been running as much as I’d like. And most recently, a good, long walk has felt way better than running or anything else. I’m at this point presently when I could care less about exercise to get fit . . . it’s all mental. I must admit it’s really hard to get so out of shape from my previous levels, but I simply don’t have the energy to spare right now.

I will run half marathons again. Someday.


Week #1: 270 min of exercise

M: REST
T: 40 min bike
W: 4.2 mile run
R: 4.2 mile run
F: REST
S: 60 min walk
S: 45 min Barre, 45 min x-country ski

Week #2: 265 min of exercise

M: REST
T: 30 min bike, 30 min walk
W: 4 mile walk
R: 30 min bike, 30 min Barre
F: REST
S: 4.7 mile run
S: 4.2 mile run, morning walk

Again, from the bottom of our hearts: THANK YOU.

Whatever happens, it’s so nice to have the support of you all.

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Food, Fitness, Family

FOOD

I get a lot of requests for portable + packable meal and snack options. I used to write a lot more about this kind of stuff when I worked my desk job. Eating well on the go is tough business. So, I thought I might try to bring some of that bake into the blog. This week, I’ll start by simply sharing what Stephen brings for snacks and lunch on a typical work day.

Like this:


I try to make grab-and-go stuff that we can all enjoy, which is why you see a variation of the Nut Butter Energy Chunks. I also always boil a dozen eggs each week because they’re super healthy and easy to eat on the run. And we’ve been making a lot of Avocado Egg Salad lately. Last, every Sunday I made a slow cooker soup. This week it was one of our favorites: Miso Split Pea Soup . . . with lentils in place of the split peas.

I’ll dedicate a whole post to Stephen’s lunches sometime soon.

FITNESS

Running has been tough in the last week due to snow and cold. I’m happy I’ve been sticking close to my 20 mile a week goal regardless. I’ve been leaning heavily into the cross-training I can do from home, which has meant bringing out the spinning bike, skis, and Barre workouts more than hitting the pavement.

(PS: Some of you are wondering what equipment is needed to do Barre workouts at home. I use a standard yoga mat, a set of 2 pound weights, a waist-high surface -- which is Ada’s trampoline, and occasionally a yoga strap. I’m considering purchasing a ball like the Barre3 ball.)


I love that I can workout indoors, but I am also getting sick of working out indoors. I’m at the point where I’d OK with running in the cold and snow, but I’d sure love just ONE 50+ degree sunny day a week. Or a treadmill so I could feel what it’s like to run in shorts again. I know I’ll be complaining about the summer heat soon enough, though!

Week 1: 21 miles

M: 5 mile run, 30 minutes Barre
T: 4 mile run, 30 minutes Barre
W: 60 minutes Barre
T: 4 mile run, 30 minutes Barre
F: 3 mile run
S: OFF
S: 5 mile run, X-Country Ski 30 minutes, 40 minutes Barre

Week 2: 15.5 miles

M: X-County Ski 45 minutes, 40 minutes Barre
T: OFF
W: 30 minutes spinning bike, 30 minutes Barre
T: 4.5 mile run
F: 10 minutes Barre, 2 mile run
S: 5 mile run, 30 minutes Barre
S: 4 mile run

FAMILY

I’m so excited for this week to be over.

No, really!


We had a great snow day yesterday, but Stephen actually has the first of his spring breaks coming up next week. A whole week off! We had planned to try and go somewhere on a mini-vacation, but due to some unexpected changes in our finances, we decided to wait a few months. Regardless, there’s a lot we need to cram in, like Ada’s 6 month neuro follow-up in Syracuse. We’ll turn that into something fun because we learned she won’t need a sedation MRI -- YAHOO! -- when I found out, I basically threw a party. We’ll probably check out Trader Joe’s, hit up the mall (Ada loves the ropes course), and go somewhere to eat. Simple pleasures.

Next week will also be the end of my two week wait, and regardless -- I just want it to be over. In a silly way, I’m hoping I might be pregnant before all this infertility testing starts. I mean, a girl can dream, right? Some of you have asked if I plan on sharing the news when I get a positive sign. I’m not sure yet. We could still have a long time to go, so how I handle it isn’t as important to me right now as just living day by day and keeping positive that it will happen.

Peace out, Tuesday!

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Thoughts on Barre (So Far)

On Monday we had around 10 inches of snow. A couple days later another 3 inches. And last night another 2 or 3 more. I hear another storm is in the forecast for early next week. We’ve also had more negative windchill days. None of this is surprising. Still, (good) running without a gym membership has been elusive, and not for lack of trying.

Our new neighborhood is great, but people don’t love shoveling their sidewalks. Many streets don’t even have sidewalks, really, which leaves running in the street often as the sun is setting. I do try to make it to a local path a few times a week, but with Ada’s preschool often closed due to the weather, well, you see the excuses piling up. Running in the winter is hard. Some years I trudge through better than others. This year, I think I get a B+.

Along with cycling at home and doing some cross-country skiing, I’ve been doing Barre -- and I thought I’d give you a quick update on how I’m liking it so far. No. Loving it. My trial with Barre 3 Online ended earlier this week, and I decided to keep it up at least over the next month or two. I’m majorly on the bandwagon right now. We’ll see how long it lasts, but since I’m seeing some results, I’d like to keep the good stuff going.

// I don’t know if I’ve lost any weight doing Barre. My instincts are telling me no, but I’ll find out today at my fertility appointment. At the same time, I’m noticeably slimmer even after a couple weeks. My jeans are slightly loose. My butt is lifted -- no joke -- and my thighs are leaner. It’s not too dramatic from an outward view -- but I can tell a huge difference.

// My flexibility is back again. With so many yoga and stretching movies incorporated into the workouts, I’ve been taking the time to get limber again. I used to do lots of yoga and sort of took my natural flexibility for granted. Now I want to keep it up because it feels so good.

// My strength is, like, whoa. I haven’t done any major strength training consistently -- bodyweight or otherwise -- in a long while. Accordingly, I’ve been a little weak compared to previous years. I can already see some gains in this area by being able to hold certain poses much longer. And generally feeling toned. Even using 2 pound weights has my arms feeling it the next day, but without extreme soreness.

// After completing the workouts, I feel energized, and I can’t always say that for running. I think it has something to do with impact. I like having something in my routine that challenges me without jarring me. Not that my running form is bad, but sometimes it’s just rough on the body to do 5 or 6 days a week. The tiny motions in Barre are surprisingly difficult . . . but at the same time restorative, if that makes any sense. In the middle of a “class” I feel like I want to curse, yet at the end, I want to give someone a hug.

// I’ve also been happy to find a workout I think I could keep up when I’m lucky enough to get pregnant again. I’ve already written in numerous posts how I’ll cool it on the running the next time around. No half marathon races for me. But keeping fit and active is a huge priority, as I think it helped me a lot mentally and physically during my last pregnancy. Some of the moves in Barre remind me a lot of my favorite prenatal workout by Summer Sanders.

// I do wish we had a Barre studio or class in the area. I’m getting slightly tired of doing the same workouts again and again (though I’m excited to try a new runner workout that was posted recently). I also have enjoyed group fitness classes in the past for the social aspect, and I’m more alone than ever talking to my TV during nap time. But online workouts are undeniably convenient. No excuses, right?

So, at this point I’d highly recommend at least trying Barre if you’re interested. I have no affiliation with the studio or incentive to share my feelings. It’s just something that’s helping me get through winter this year.

If you have questions, I’d be happy to answer!

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Food, Fitness, Family

FOOD

I made this awesome Roasted Cauliflower Gnocchi recipe for dinner last week.

Not so awesome? My photos. So much darkness.


I modified the recipe by using whole wheat flour. Then instead of homemade sauce, I used some store bought. I tossed in a good bunch of baby kale for good measure. We all loved the meal, and I can’t wait to make it again sometime.

FITNESS

I added Barre to my routine last week, and I definitely feel it in a great way. However, I’ve had some trouble balancing it with my running mileage. So, I think after this initial #OMGILOVEBARRE phase, I’d like to do three 30-minute workouts each week with another couple 10-minute ones sprinkled in. I tried a full hour Saturday but just couldn’t make it through after running.

So much core work. Ouch.


Week 1: 20.5 miles

M: OFF
T: 1 hour walk
W: 4 miles + 1 mile walk
R: 5 miles
F: 3.5 miles, 15-minute Body Weight, 2 mile walk
S: OFF
S: 8 miles

Week 2: 14 miles

M: 2 miles + 1 mile walk
T: Barre 30 minute + 10 minute workouts
W: 4 miles, Barre 30 minute + 10 minute workouts
R: 4 miles, Barre 30 minute workout
F: 1 hour walk
S: 4 miles, Barre 45 minute workout
S: OFF*

* I had planned to run my long run yesterday, but as I’ll write about in a minute -- sleep was elusive Saturday night. I took a nap instead and decided I’d wait to run around 8 miles today if possible. Let’s do this.

FAMILY

What a weekend. Those of you who have preschoolers know the whole nighttime struggle. The excuses, the stalling, and even the lies. Ada’s become quite creative with her techniques over the last six months or so. So, when she all of a sudden complained that her ear hurt Saturday night, we thought it was a farce. The fit ensued and we tried for over and hour to figure out fact from fiction.

Then I saw her wince.
It was almost imperceptible . . . but then it happened again.

We packed up the car a little before 10 to drive to the ER across town. Checked in with an overly tired kid in pain. That’s the quickest way get the VIP treatment. We tried everything we could to ease Ada’s discomfort, but she was crying and screaming, so they put us in a private waiting area. After several hours we saw the nurse and PA to find out she has an ear infection. Her first. I won’t go into all the gory details of trying to get her to take a huge dose of antibiotics at 1AM on an empty stomach, etc.

Eventually we drove home, got Ada settled, and all went to bed. My internal clock woke me up around 6:30. Yuck. I need to remember this when I pine away for baby #2. I’m just happy this girl is on the mend!


Those of you in the blizzard zone -- stay safe and warm. However, I can’t lie. I’m incredibly jealous! We haven’t had much snow at all up here the last two years, and I’m so ready for a crazy storm.

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Trying Barre Classes Online

I’ve been searching for something new and different to do fitness-wise besides running. We looked at some gyms over the weekend, but the only ones I would want to join are the ones with pools. My favorite cross-training is my slow, sad breaststroke -- by far. Too bad those gyms are expensive. And most of them are booked up with aqua classes for the older crowd during the hours when I could typically go (or when childcare is offered, preschool is happening, etc.).

Anyway, I do random workouts on Fitness Blender from time to time. Mostly yoga, body weight stuff, and barre. After mulling over whether or not I should delve into studio yoga classes (which are also expensive, though definitely worth it), I decided I’d try doing something online for a change. When I get a chance to workout besides my usual running, it’s either in the early morning, nap time, or after Ada’s gone to bed for the night. I don’t necessarily feel like dragging myself across town by that point.

So, today I signed up for a Free 15-Day Trial of Barre3 (check it out -- I’m not affiliated with this group -- they don’t even have studios in my area). I just completed a total body 30 minute workout during Ada’s nap and got a needed boost of energy. Since I’ve tried several rogue barre workouts in the past, I knew a bit of what to expect. Lots of tiny movements with tons of burn. I like how the workout incorporates some yoga, ballet, and Pilates movements, too. All the stuff I usually ignore.

There are several offerings of this type that you can find online for free and subscription prices. Here’s a comprehensive comparison I found with Bar Method and Barre3, if you’re interested in more specifics (because I’m still super new to it all). Of the two, I chose Barre3 because I’ve read reviews from bloggers like Emily or heard about it from friends + family who live near studios and regularly take classes. Oh, yeah. And also because it’s $15/month versus $35.

Right now my goal is to do 3-5 barre workouts a week (they have ones from 10 minutes to 60 minutes) along with 20 miles of running. I’m informally doing the 28-day challenge, too, since I like the idea of checking boxes to feel some accomplishment in my day. Plus, being prompted to do certain workouts is helpful when you’re trying to guide yourself from home. I am also looking forward to checking out a few new recipes to shake me out of this carb-craziness + funk I’ve been in.

Have you tried online workout subscriptions? 

I wrote a fun article about them for Wise Bread a couple months back, so you should certainly read it if you’re interested. They're a nice, flexible option if you don’t love driving to the gym or perhaps don’t have time during traditional hours to get your sweat on. I know a lot of people really like Daily Burn and even Gaiam TV, so I’d love to hear more about those if you subscribe!

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It Stops Today

I need to start taking better care of myself. I have completely let this TTC thing take over my life. What I have to show for it is a bunch of extra weight around my hips, thighs, and mid-section. This isn’t the “good” kind of weight people sometimes gain to aid with fertility either. It’s come from lots of sugar-loaded treats (compounded by Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas) and a sharp decrease in exercise. And much self-induced stress, of course.

Sure, I’ve gone up a couple dress sizes. Overall, it’s not horribly noticeable from an outsider perspective, but that’s not really the point. By any means. I worry I’ll continue to climb and climb because this is about way more than food. I am out of control right now. I am happy I can fully admit it, too, because it’s difficult to type out that statement for friends and foes to read, I assure you.

I’ll say it again: I cannot control the whole journey I’m on . . . but it’s certainly controlling all aspects of my life. The worst part? I’m letting it. I’ve submitted because I haven’t known what else to do. It’s time to take the wheel and gently guide myself in a new direction. Besides making more doctor appointments and continuing to figure out what’s going on, I need to, yes, take better care of myself.

Obviously, I am not going to go on any detoxes, fasts, or other major dietary shifts because I eat pretty healthfully as it is -- for my main meals. Plus, I don’t want to further jeopardize my fertility by losing weight at a rapid rate. Having a disordered history with makes this sort of thing difficult to undertake. I have a lot of emotions tied to weight and eating that I’ve worked for years to sort through.

So, I’m keeping my head clear and my thoughts level.


Moderation, right? And maybe slight modification. For example, these muffins -- which I’ll share Monday -- are insanely healthy, quick to grab, and are essentially just oatmeal and shredded apples and carrots. Versus chocolate chippers. I think with a little mix of portion control, fewer desserts, and continued low-glycemic foods, I’ll get things rolling.

I’m going to start with the following goals.

// Follow a “Weekends Off” Approach: I’ve had good success in the past with eating healthy meals throughout the week and skipping desserts, my admitted downfall, and then indulging on weekends. I’m thinking this will help tame my all-day cookie habit and my crazy post-BFN bottles of champagne. I know what I’m doing “wrong” is what I’m saying here. But I am also not willing to totally restrict my lifestyle because I really do love food and drink and think there’s a happy medium between constantly indulging and one hundred percent abstinence.

// Swap Out Bread: Well, at least sometimes. When I eat fewer desserts, I tend to sneak more slices of bread into my day. There’s a whole host of living foods I could be filling my stomach with instead. I’d like to swap out toast for a sweet potato with our breakfast for dinner night. Or maybe do quinoa on the side versus a dinner roll. I’m still going to continue eating my sprouted grains, but I realize they are still bready bread bread.

// Continue to Push the Protein: And healthy fats. I feel incredible when I’m eating the appropriate amount of protein for my body. Whether or not I lose weight. It just takes a little more work to choose these foods than grabbing convenient carbs. Which leads me to . . .

// Hone Meal Prep: I’ve become somewhat lazy with my meal prep lately when it comes to breakfast and lunch. I’ve been making dinners like a pro, though. Keep up the good work with that. Get some Slow Cooker Oats in the crock pot going. Chop some veggies so they’re ready to grab for quick snacks. I’ll probably start doing a post every now and again on meal prep, and I know a lot of you guys liked that.

// Then comes fitness:

I tried keeping up with my usual running mileage (30 miles per week, sometimes more) when we started TTC. After a few months (and when things with my body started getting funky), I thought something so easy as dropping mileage and intensity might do the trick. I’d say I was running more like between 10-20 miles a week depending on the time in my cycle. This is despite the fact that I just looked back on my pregnancy with Ada and realized I PRed at a 4-mile race and ran a 12 mile long run within days of getting my positive test. Sigh.

I’m not going to go crazy ramping up my mileage right now or introducing long runs when it’s -20 outside. But I’d like to make a goal of hitting around 20 miles a week at a steady pace. No “training” or trying to hit any sort of time goals. Some days I go out and it’s like 9:20/mile. Last night I ran 5 at 8:40. Whatever. I feel less stressed when I keep up with the running, and I don’t think it’s hurting anything reproductively speaking.

Otherwise, I’d like to add another mini-workout to a few days a week. Something that’s 15-25 minutes long. It could be some body weight stuff or a Barre or yoga video online. Anything that relates to toning and isn’t high intensity cardio. I figure I can manage adding it in the AM before I start my work for the day or perhaps during nap time.

This post feels like some strange personal journal entry. Weird, but I felt like sharing if it might help shake someone else out of something they’re going through. In short: I am hoping that focusing on myself again will help my body and mind relax. There are like 10,000 other things running through my head right now (like how I’m not directly addressing my mental health -- but I promise you, that’s not lost in all of this, they’re just interconnected), but this post is already quite long. Thanks for reading. Sometimes it’s just helpful to sort out my thoughts in black and white.

HAPPY FRIDAY!

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