Happy is Within Reach

I got a few things at Wegmans yesterday to tide us over until our next monthly grocery shopping trip. The lines were long for some reason, so I decided to read some headlines on the magazines at the checkouts.

And then I saw this gem:

Of course, I was immediately reminded of the High School Skinny post I did a long time ago.

Drop 43 pounds by Memorial Day? The date on the magazine says May 3.

Belly fat goes first? I didn't think you could target weight-loss.

81 percent fewer cravings in just 48 hours? How was that determined?

Reprogram your metabolism. Uh, huh.

And -- my favorite -- HAPPY IS WITHIN REACH

You know, just randomly thrown in.

Along with SLIM A DOUBLE CHIN

First off, how can anyone, save Biggest Loser contestants (and you know how I feel about that show!), lose 43 pounds in a month? Second, I totally see how this appeals to people. There's so much promise on this page. It makes life seem so simple. Your weight is keeping you down. Making you sad. Making you feel ugly inside and out. See those beautiful movie stars? Well, they sneak charcoal into their smoothies. If you do X, Y, and Z . . . not only will you lose weight, you'll lose LOTS of it and FAST.


Only, I'm sure nobody gets enough close to reaching what these things promise. It got me thinking: How are these publications still on the shelves? Who is buying this crap? My first exposure to these crash and fad diet magazines was in high school when my boyfriend's mother tried the cabbage soup diet. That was nearly 20 years ago, and I know they've been around longer than that.

* * * * * * * *

So many thoughts. All the thoughts. Which brings me to an update on my own weight. I am "stuck" at 145 pounds. No matter what I do. Weight Watchers certainly helped me clean up my act nutritionally, and I thank it for that. But I've decided not to continue my membership for the time being. There's more going on besides what I eat. I am almost certain I won't lose any more until I wean, and that's cool with me, albeit somewhat annoying.

In the meantime, I'm staying active. Wearing my Garmin VivoSmart, and it's working out great. I got 14,000 steps yesterday. I always go back and forth on wearing it all day, and then I realize when I wear it that I truly do feel more motivated to take a quickie walk or just do something to get my body in motion.

I may not lose 43 pounds this month (what a weirdly specific number, no?) . . . but that's not what health and, yeah, HAPPINESS is about. I will admit that I probably think about these matters more than I'd like. But even I understand that happiness isn't achieved in reaching a number on the scale. That's so much deeper. And shame on people who put out a message that says otherwise -- and profit from it, no less.

Rant over! Happy Thursday!

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Weight Watchers, Month One + Weight

Alright. So, I've received TONS of questions about Weight Watchers. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around writing a post that will encompass absolutely everything. So, I thought I'd answer some of the most frequently asked questions. Just a reminder -- this post is not at all sponsored or associated with the Weight Watchers brand. I am doing this entirely on my own.

BTW: Check out my $4 vintage Levi's mom jeans! Still not sure if I'm on board with this trend, but I figured I'd give it a try.

Q: Why did you sign up for Weight Watchers? Doesn't MyFitnessPal/etc. do the same thing for free?

There are many calorie counting services that are free. I've used them. But, and as I've written in the past, I dealt with an eating disorder for a long period of time. Counting calories actually gets me back in this place that I think I should avoid. The whole obsession with calories in foods.

You could argue, and some have, that WW is just another way of counting something. I have less awareness, though, of what exactly the numbers mean. It isn't calories. It has more to do with the mix of calories, fat, fiber, and other nutrition factors in food. I could eat TONS of healthy foods and fill my stomach and still be low on points. Or I could eat a couple candy bars and be over my budget in two minutes.

For me, that makes the difference. If you aren't bothered my calorie counting, MyFitnessPal is a really great, straightforward tool.

Q: Is it hard to calculate points if you make a lot of your food from scratch?

Yes and no. Like, the tool is there. You can enter each and every ingredient in your dinner or dessert. Enter the number of portions it makes and -- BOOM -- get the magic point number. I was good at doing that for a while. Then I started resenting having to enter each and every ingredient in my longer recipes. It does take time, energy, and motivation to do that if you cook so much from scratch like I do.

I do feel like it promotes eating a lot of packaged things that are easier to count. I don't think that's a good thing.

Q: Do you really track everything, every single day?

No. I was doing really well for the first three weeks and it's gotten away from me. But the thing is, it is super easy to keep track using the app on my phone. I wasn't logging into the website. I was using the app almost exclusively. Why, then, am I not logging everything? I think the novelty of being on a program wore off. That's part of it.

And I also think cooking from scratch is hard. I was making lots of recipes after being more regimented and eating just, like, an apple or two eggs, etc. It's a pain to go in and create all my recipes for all my meals every single day. So, I need to strike a balance with that if I want to continue.

That said, the app is really easy. You can scan foods in your pantry, which is handy if you are just going to make a sandwich or eat a packaged snack.

Q: How many points do you get? Do you feel it's enough?

I personally get 36 points a day. I know some people who get like 24. Others who get 40+. I think the point value has to do with a complex mix of things, like how much you weigh, how much you want to lose, if you're a man/woman, if you're breastfeeding (and how much!), how much you exercise, etc.

On top of that, you get a weekly stipend of 35 points you can divide evenly or use in one shot. And then on top of that, you can get extra points when you exercise. On an average "good" day, I tend to eat around 46 points. So, figure I get 36 plus 5 from my weekly plus another 5 from exercise. And I do feel like this is enough food, at least at this stage.

Q: Isn't it just another way of restricting food?

Someone on Instagram made a comment about Weight Watchers being restrictive eating. I actually couldn't disagree more -- at least in some respects. Yes, you get a daily limit of points. Yes, you -- therefore -- tend to not eat so much of certain foods and more of others.

But restrictive? No. Not really. If you've seen Oprah on the commercials, she explains that she loves eating chips. You can eat chips and any other foods you desire on the plan. In moderation.

I have a lot of friends following Whole 30 who rave about that diet. And it sounds amazing for a variety of reason. Heck, I tried it one month a long, long time ago. But THAT is restrictive, especially for vegetarians. With WW, there are absolutely no foods that are off limits. There are no foods that you are told you can't eat. And, yeah, maybe there's both some good and bad in that.

Q: How much weight have you lost? How much do you have left to lose?

I have stalled out a bit. I started January at 148 pounds. I am now 145. So, I have lost three pounds and holding. I haven't lost weight in a couple weeks, though. I'm slightly annoyed. But I also know I haven't been tracking as carefully, I've been indulging a bit more (Super Bowl fondue, anyone?)

My goal weight is 135 (or so). So, I have 10 pounds left to lose. I wrote a post all about how I had ditched the scale long ago. I want you guys to understand I am not obsessed with these numbers. But I also genuinely feel like if I do not at least work back to losing some of the 20 pounds I've gained in recently years that it will be a slippery slope.

I weighed 125 before I got pregnant with Ada, but I was running constantly, eating a mostly vegan diet, and -- well -- didn't have two kids back then. I ended up being around 130-132 after Ada weaned. Then during all the struggles getting/staying pregnant, I hovered between 138-140. Anyway, 135 is a good fighting weight for me. I think 125, though still in a very healthy range (definitely not high school skinny!), just isn't maintainable along with enjoying food and spending the most time with my family.

Q: Is Weight Watchers worth it? Will you continue?

I think WW has been worth it so far. I am disappointed that I allowed myself to get off track simply by being lazy about tracking. I would like to continue until I lose the 10 additional pounds I've set out to lose. I know weight isn't everything, but I also know that I do have excess weight that isn't muscle. I won't obsess necessarily on the exact number on my scale . . . I have several pairs of pants I'd like to use for my measure.

I don't know how following the numbers will work with marathon training (more on that soon!), though. I need to evaluate how to get the best nutrition and may need to go over some times.

Do you follow Weight Watchers? What do you think I left out? And what else would you guys like to know in my next post?

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Crazy Carb-Monster Me

I haven't written much about my diet post-baby. Holy hell, it's been bad. Like really, really bad by anyone's definitions. Permit me to just lay it out on the table for you . . . because admitting you have a problem is the first step. My name is Ashley, and since my second baby was born, I have been existing on mostly white bread, cookies, and all other forms of crap because I'm tried, stressed, and lazy. And eating this way is just making me feel more tired, stressed, and lazy.

Now that Eloise is almost 10 weeks old, I need to stop this craziness. I need to stop excusing my poor eating habits with the whole "but I'm breastfeeding" or whatever. You guys know that I struggle with sugar. I'd say over the last two years, I've struggled more than ever because I am an emotional eater and, well, my emotions have been put to the test over and over again.

As I've gotten older, these habits have gone from being unhealthy from a purely nutritional standpoint to worse. I'm just going to say it -- I'm at my highest weight ever. Yes, I "just" had a baby, but I was actually at my highest not-pregnant weight before I even got pregnant with Eloise. It's still a healthy weight for me, but now that I'm 10 pounds above that highest weight (which is almost 20 pounds over my before-Ada weight) . . . well, I'm starting to see the landslide effect.

I don't like to bring up matters of weight too much. And weight isn't the best indicator of health -- I know this. I've shared a few times that I had an eating disorder. I have healed from that experience for what's now been over 8 years (go me!). So, this isn't that rearing its ugly head. It's more that my metabolism is slower than ever now that I'm older. My eating habits still haven't changed despite knowing the "right" way to eat. And I plain need to stop using food as my coping mechanism. I'm 33 years old, for goodness' sake!

I am really fortunate to have access to healthy, wholesome foods. I am lucky that I enjoy cooking and creating recipes. I need to use these things to my advantage. So, I am. Of course I'd like to see the number on the scale creep lower, but that's not the whole goal. Yesterday I started what I am hoping is my last attempt at eating like an adult.

What does this mean to me?

• It's not restricting. All things in moderation, right? I will still want to eat sourdough bread. (Just maybe a piece or two versus half a loaf.) I will still want to drink champagne and have cookies from time to time. And I definitely don't want to do calorie counting on the regular. 
• It's not flavorless. I hate when I've tried dieting in the past and all the foods I make are bland and, well, the same thing a million times because I know that meal is "safe" or whatever. I want to enjoy cooking vibrant, flavorful meals. Food is one of life's pleasures, and healthy food can be really darned good. I need to remember that.
• It's not obsessive. Because I've spent lots of years of my life obsessing over the things I put into my body. Even when I started "healthy" eating, it became this weird game of having to eat only "clean" foods or feeling awful about myself.

But, yeah. It means getting over my salad aversion or actually drinking a green smoothie again. Choosing to eat the carrots instead of reaching for the potato chips for crunch (which I've become obsessed with lately for some reason). Filling up on protein even when an egg doesn't sound as good as a slice of pizza or cookie.

My body craves so much so often, but I would like to re-train it to crave nutrition. I know it's worth it. It's just going to require foresight -- planning to make things convenient. I totally see why people gain weight once kids are in the picture. Life . . . is . . . exhausting. There's hardly time to shower, and I've started working again -- so, yeah. Planning!

Is anyone else at this point with their eating right now? I think many of us -- myself included -- tend to go on bouts of being really all about the healthy foods and then cycling back to eating poorly. I give myself some grace on this matter because, yes: I did just have a baby. And, yes: I've been through a lot and my emotions have been tested. But now I am able to get back into running and can do other things to help my mood and general wellbeing. The food has to stop being the crutch.

So, here's lunch from yesterday:


A good start! It was incredibly delicious, full of healthy fats and veggies, and it was exciting to eat. It didn't even take too much time to prepare. But it was more difficult than just grabbing last night's dessert and calling it lunch. We'll see how day two goes, but I hope to check in with you guys from time to time.

Happy Monday. To new beginnings!

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Body After Baby // Week 3

You guys said you wanted to hear more about the postpartum period, both with adjusting to life with two kids and with regard to recovery. So, today I'm going to write about my recovery so far (Eloise is 3 weeks old as of yesterday), as well as some of the differences from the first time around.

You always hear that all pregnancies are different. And I've learned that this statement totally applies to recoveries as well. When I had Ada, I felt so much pain after birth. My tailbone hurt. My tear stung. I had issues with urine leakage. I generally felt blah and spent a great deal of time on the couch. I did start running (too) soon after giving birth (within a couple weeks), and I know I shouldn't have because I was still bleeding (which increased and turned bright red with activity), having a lot of pelvic pain and, yeah, leaking. Still, the exercise gave me something normal to grasp onto, so I kept it up.

This time around, I don't feel like I just have a baby. I feel, well, surprisingly normal despite carrying a little extra weight. I am thanking my lucky stars for it, too. I think two pushes versus two plus hours of pushing may be to credit for some of it. I did have tearing just as significant as I did with Ada, but it didn't/doesn't hurt and is healing well. I also stopped bleeding during week two. Instead of wanting to spend days on the couch, I've been itching to get out and about thanks to the summer weather. Movement feels good and even therapeutic.

As far as stats go, I gained a total of 24 pounds in my pregnancy, topping off at 162. Here are a couple photos from two weeks postpartum.

I lost 16 in the week or so after giving birth. I have only lost another one since. I am at 145 pounds right now. My goal is to eventually get back to 135 pounds, which is where I seem to stick after kids. Before kids I was more like 125, but I find this weight takes a ton of diet and exercise, more than I'm willing to do at this stage of life. I know it could take a while to get back to a goal weight, especially since nursing isn't some magic weight loss cure for me. I held on to 8 pounds while nursing Ada for 17 months.

I don't have any diet plans right now. I am loosely tracking what I eat, mostly to keep a log of how much protein I'm getting in each day. (I'm trying to consume at least 65 grams per day.) I struggle getting enough, so I write down what I ate and -- next to it -- I write the grams of protein. I am also trying to keep an eye on my sugar intake. I'm not limiting myself, but I have a sweet tooth that can go easily out of control. Eloise also tends to nurse right during my meals, which makes me want to grab a quick cookie instead of waiting to make a good lunch with eggs, greens, and whole grains.

I am also back exercising with no pain or incontinence issues. I know it's like TMI to keep writing that -- yes -- I leaked after Ada's birth. But it's just a reality of the postpartum period that few people talk about. This time around I haven't had any urine mishaps. My bleeding has stopped and hasn't increased with activity. And I don't have any pelvic pain. It's kind of incredible.

I know very well that my body is still healing, though, so here's a rundown of what I've been doing.

• I am sticking to slow two to three mile jogs about every other day. After Ada, despite all the issues I was having, I pushed myself to go farther and farther and didn't rest between sessions. I also wanted to get back to my paces ASAP. This time around, I don't even take a watch, but I estimate I'm running 10 minute miles. I go slow and walk whenever I feel like I just don't want to push. I also make sure to do a little walking before/after the jogging to warm up and cool down.
• I have done some Barre workouts. These feel amazing to stretch and strengthen my body. Again, I don't do anything that's over 30 minutes, and I don't do more than one type of workout per day. 
• I am also thinking of starting a yoga challenge (on YouTube) and trying to get in at least 10 minutes of stretching and relaxation each day.
• Other days, like today, I just do gentle walking. I have no races on the calendar or other reason to be in any kind of mode where I NEED to do exercise all the time.
• If at any point, I do get pain or other signs I need to step back, I will. But my midwife said to go ahead and do what feels good as it feels good.

That's how recovery is going. At least at week three. I won't be updating every single week like I did the last time around. So, maybe look for another one of these posts around week 6. I would like to run a 5K in late August. Not for time, obviously, but it's a Women's Distance Festival that I try to participate in every year. I suppose that's my current fitness goal. I look forward to updating you on how it's going!

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Yes. Another New Diet.

I'm eating protein like it's my job, people. Which, actually, it sort of is. As my mileage has increased with my half marathon training plan, I haven't been doing the best job keeping pace nutritionally. Instead, I was going back to my usual sugary + carb-loaded mainstays and riding the whole wave of sugar HIGH, sugar CRASH.

Eggs in the morning help.

You know, I had been eating brownies for lunch and the like -- when I should be eating this stuff instead. It happens. More than I'd like to admit. (Yes. I never learn.) But I keep it real on this space. I eat tons of healthy, delicious foods and write up simple recipes. That's true. But I also eat tons of crap. For whatever reason, I haven't been able to find balance for the long haul. Still.

After writing about my diet multiple countless times on the blog and getting a variety of reactions, I want to keep it all a bit more neutral this time around. No, I didn't lose those extra pounds that were irking me the last time around . . . I lost a few, the weather continued its downward spiral, and I gained them all back in comfort foods. As well, life has gotten so much busier with the house stuff, work stuff, and other stuff -- the number on the scale just isn't as much my priority right now.

Drinking water is!


I fit in my clothes (yeah -- a bit tighter, but still can wear them). Energy, though, definitely is where I'm focused these days. It seems like when the clouds parted and the sun finally came out, I found that my energy funk wasn't as winter-related as I thought. I found myself sitting inside one warm afternoon not really wanting to venture outside (it definitely looked like one of those sad commercials -- cue depression speculation, but I assure you -- I'm not depressed!) . . . and then I realized I hadn't had any water to drink and that my breakfast was inadequate.

You know. Rookie mistakes. And I'm no rookie.

I think what I struggle with most with my eating is just employing all the tricks and techniques I know work, but in the long-term. I'm at least a few of you can relate. It's like I know what to eat and what to do, but after the novelty wears off . . . the sticking power is gone. I also have so many vices!

Knowing that I'm gearing up for pregnancy number two has really kicked my butt into gear. I want to get my nutritional stores up for the demands of a future pregnancy and to benefit a future baby, but also for my own quality of life.


Basically, I'm giving myself this last attempt to eat well before I seek professional help. Yup. I do think if I can't get my energy levels up and eating habits stable, I'd like to have someone tell me what to do for my specific body/activity level. I'm no expert, and most of us aren't -- so I think it might be worthwhile. My own confusion and frustration for fueling an active lifestyle on a vegetarian diet definitely shows.

This time around, though, I definitely feel different going in. I think it's because I've just told myself "this is it . . . you need to figure it out once and for all." At least I think that's why it's different. I feel additional motivation because of all my failed attempts. I see people able to stick with their plans all around me, so why not ME? Why not NOW?

We'll see what happens. As always, I love sharing bits and pieces of what's going on in my life on the blog. I'll continue to share those tasty recipes I'm mixing up (they've been getting healthier, have you noticed? The metamorphosis is happening!). You might also notice a bit of a shift as I work to bring out the full nutrition in my meals -- all while trying to keep it on budget. I'm actually excited to stop eating so much homemade pizza (but don't worry -- that's not totally going away!).

What this all means for you is more recipes, healthier recipes, more exploration of new foods, and more commentary from -- perhaps -- a similarly minded person trying to wade through those murky waters to better nutritional health.

// My favorite recipe so far? 


Yesterday's (first) lunch! I've been eating smaller, more frequent meals to see how that's working for keeping sugars stable. I can't begin to describe how awesome this bowl tasted. Please try it and let me know what you think!

Whisk together:

1 cup nonfat Greek yogurt + 1 tablespoon cocoa powder + 1 teaspoon maple syrup + 1 teaspoon vanilla extract until smooth. Then top with 1/2 cup granola (I used PBJ from Nature Box) and sliced strawberries.

Nutrition (depending on granola used): 387 calories, 46 carbs, 12 grams fat, 32 grams protein, 26 grams sugar.

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Getting Active, Trying New Things

I have 5 pounds to go toward my weight loss goal. It's so close, yet so far away. Though, still -- I'm not really dwelling on the exact number too much. One day, for example, I can wake up 10 pounds over my goal. The next? I'm only 4 pounds away. So weird. I am focused much more on my half marathon training and selling our house at the moment.

(Half training is great, btw! Check out last night's long run -- 7 weeks to go!)

However, as well as my training is going -- I've missed several many workouts due to some cleaning + house-prepping burnout. So, my general level of activity has definitely been on my mind. When I worked outside the home, for example, I had to walk at least a quarter mile from my car to my office each morning. And then again to/from for lunch. And then back at night. There's a built-in mile of walking -- and I'd often take my breaks and lunch walking as well.

I'd say on top of running 25 average miles a week, I was likely walking 4 miles a day. And I also used to do yoga and way more random cross-training. (And did I mention that's when I was pregnant?) Yadda, yadda, yadda. I know parents aren't supposed to make excuses (hah!) for not fitting in fitness as a top priority . . . but c'mon. It's hard when life gets in the way.

If we don't leave the house, we truly don't leave the house. There's very few places we can walk to unless we're out for the purpose of walking only. The weather the last couple years was very mild and kind in winter, but this year? Not so much. So, on days when we're stuck indoors, I bet I don't even walk a mile. Or do I? I have absolutely no idea. No way to track . . .

I've been reading posts and chatting with my friends who have Fitbit trackers, Jawbone UP, Nike FuelBand -- basically those newfangled, glorified pedometers that also help track sleep, nutrition, etc. -- along with steps per day toward a 10,000/day goal. So, I gathered together some gift cards last night and picked one up to try. They all have different bells, whistles, and cons.


Ultimately, I chose the Fitbit Flex over the others for price. I'm not actually reviewing it today -- I'll probably wait a month into use -- because I've only had it on my arm for the last, uhhhh, 12 hours. But I wanted to write out what I'm hoping to achieve by wearing such a device:

• I want to get a better idea of how much activity I'm getting as a whole -- not just running. Since parenthood has caused me to randomly skip workouts from time to time, I'd like to know that I'm generally active otherwise.
• I'm hoping to better track my nutrition because it's conveniently in the app, so I might as well use it. I figure it's just extra incentive to be more diligent (bananas versus M&Ms) and, therefore, start making sure I'm eating the right mix of nutrients and enough calories to fuel my lifestyle, all while pinpointing times when I'm indulging to the max. 
• I want to start better sleep habits. I'm normally a morning person, but somehow these weird night owl tendencies have taken over in the past year. It makes my whole day feel off -- so hopefully I'll feel inspired to get good nights of sleep to look at on the tracker in the morning.
• I also want to use the cool vibrating alarm clock option. I don't know why I like that feature so much, but I do.
• I also hope by tracking my weight, which I likely won't do every day, but maybe a couple days a week, I could see why I weigh more on certain days (did I eat lots of salty foods? have I not exercised in a week? do I have my menstrual cycle?) versus others.
• And I like having a journal component. I've been trying to keep a paper journal, but it just hasn't been working out -- so I hope to jot down some notes about my health + wellness, how I'm feeling, etc. in this app along with everything else.
• Overall, I'm just looking for an extra dose of motivation. And I think that -- combined with the warmer temperatures that are BOUND to start sometime soon -- will help me take charge of my health (versus just weight).

Do you use a fitness tracker like the Fitbit Flex? 

What has your experience been? Any tips or tricks? Already I'm a little skeptical of the step counts (I got some while sitting in bed? But also didn't get as many as I took while hauling laundry up the stairs...). We shall see!

PS: Please send good house sale vibes my way today. We have our first showing this afternoon!!!

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A Weighty Issue

Miraculously I have lost two pounds since last week. The reason it's a miracle is something you'll see in a minute because if I was going to give myself a grade for exercise and eating healthy this week, I'd get like a D minus. Also: I definitely think there's something to what you guys were saying about time of month and weight with regard to water retention, etc., so I fully expect to waver again.

// A WEIGHTY ISSUE

Not to change the subject too much, but I'm just curious to get your opinion on this issue. I have been sharing bits and pieces of my attempt to lose a little weight, and I've had some seriously split responses to my writing.

• On the one hand, some of you have told me you appreciate my candor and honesty as I look for healthy ways to slim down a bit. 
• On the other, I've received some emails (even from people I know in real life) and comments saying quite the contrary.

I'm puzzled with the negative responses. Those equating caring about my weight with having an eating disorder. Those focusing my "extreme" attention and, well, weight on weight. It's just not that way in my mind -- at all! My clothes were fitting tighter, I've known I've been eating too much bread/cookies/beer and not moving much outside running this winter, so I weighed myself and got the black-and-white result.

(This isn't my photo or my weight.)

Image Source

Another criticism I have received is that I'm generally of a healthy build, so I shouldn't worry or care about how much I weigh. But I seriously disagree. I know from personal experience how quickly a "mere" 7 pounds can turn into 70+ with heart surgeries, diabetes, and a host of other health problems.

My quest (and this isn't just about this time around or any specific time I've tried losing weight) isn't about vanity alone, and I hope you guys understand that.

// WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I'd like to know, for example, what you think about weighing yourself. Do you do it regularly? Do you never weigh yourself under any circumstances? I go through period of time -- months to even a year once -- when I haven't used a scale. Not on purpose either way, but we weren't members of a gym and our digital scale's battery died, and I wasn't sick and going to he doctor where I'd otherwise weigh in. (Office scales are notoriously unreliable anyway, right?!) 

But I also don't see anything wrong with occasional weigh-ins -- once a week or even monthly. That being said, we all know that the number on the display isn't the best indicator of health anyway, so it should never be used solely to measure up. It's just a tool -- along with many others.

Overall, I try to value all opinions, even if they aren't according with my own. So, these criticisms are valid and I want you guys to know that sharing my experience isn't meant to trigger or upset anyone. If I had an obsession with losing those 7 pounds I seem to "dwell" on, I would probably easily have lost them already.

Whatever the weight. I'm feeling good!


// MOVE MORE

This week I've stalled out on my activity. I had trained through the polar vortex, through the ice and snow, and now that it's March? I'm totally burned out. All that dedication came at a price, so I'm taking this week really easy -- which is fine because we have a 4-mile race on Saturday. I hate to sound like a broken record about the weather, but it's really starting to get to me. I even thought about joining an inexpensive gym (some are just $10 a month), but Stephen pointed out it HAS to get warmer soon, so I held off.

// DRINK LESS

Didn't do too great with my beverages this week. It was Stephen's birthday, so I definitely indulged in more beers and Moscow Mules than I usually do. What's good is that I'm drinking more water with all those indulgences.

// CHALLENGE MY BODY

Nope. See "Move More" above. I could be upset with myself for taking it easy, but at the same time, I'm over 8 weeks away from my half marathon and haven't missed more than a couple workouts total -- and that includes several weeks of pre-training in January. Sometimes rest is GOOD this far ahead of the game. After some days of easy running, I think my mind will be back in the game again.

// ADD MORE VEGGIES

We ate like healthy kings last week! Lots of veggie-loaded quesadillas, slow cooker stews, veggie burgers, etc. I've also started hard boiling eggs at the beginning of the week for some easy grab-n-go protein (or for making Avocado Egg Salad sandwiches at lunch). I think the best part about this week, and possibly where I did lose some weight, was with my diet. I'm enjoying so many more veggies because I've just added them in wherever possible!

// SKIP DESSERT (ON OCCASION)

I ate half a birthday cake this weekend (it was a small one, in my defense). Otherwise, I haven't been keeping as many baking supplies at home, so doing better with desserts. I might stop buying sugar for a while and only use maple syup, honey, and other natural sweeteners. I've stopped buying white or even white-whole wheat flour and now use entirely whole wheat and oat flour. Our pizzas aren't as stretchy, but it's healthier.

// WEAR REAL CLOTHES

Of course I'm typing this as I wear a pair of Stephen's pajamas, but I've been dressing up even more than usual. I packed away half my closet recently because we're planning to put our house on the market -- so I only have around 25 pieces of clothing (not including exercise and lounge stuff), but it's actually made it much easier to dress. Still, my clothes are tighter than usual, which is frustrating. Maybe that's why I tend to wear Stephen's clothing to augment my own closet!

// WRITE IT DOWN

I did keep a paper log for like two days of what I was eating, but honestly it was making me feel obsessive. I think this method can work of a lot of people, but with an eating disorder in my past, anything that involves tracking food just gets me thinking about it way too much during the day. I would like to strike a balance because there's a huge difference between obsessing and just being aware of what I'm putting into my body (which admittedly isn't always the best food -- so I'd like to identify if there are patterns there).

How are your diet/fitness goals going?

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Pinning Some Blame on Spinning

So, I gained back that pound I had lost last week. But, honestly -- with everything that was going on with Ada, I wasn't trying very hard to whittle down. In fact, I definitely ate one of those frosting-filled sandwich cookies in pure jubilation Tuesday afternoon. Sometimes we need that stuff. Or at least I'm still in a place where I am using food to celebrate, perhaps more than I should.

Some great news: I got in an amazing long run after that conflicted hot yoga class that took me out for a couple days -- so I was feeling great on the fitness spectrum, extra 7 pounds on my frame or not. 10 weeks till the half marathon! My 1:40-ish goals seems somewhat in reach.

Maybe. Possibly?

I can't believe I didn't think about this until last night. I only recently started weighing myself after a long hiatus. And, yes, I weigh a bit more, my pants are definitely tighter, which is why I weighed myself in the first place. So, let's think. What -- if anything -- has changed about my health + fitness regimen in the last several months?

Regular indoor cycling! (Here's details + tricks for how I do it at home.)

I'm taking part in an actual coached half marathon plan for my May race, and there's an emphasis on XT that I haven't really taken on before as seriously as I am now. I gladly saddle up on the bike to get in 45 minutes to an hour of 150-160 BMP type riding once a week because, in my experience, it actually helps me run faster. And I've even added a few 30-minute sessions every now and again for good measure/extra activity in these cold winter months.

This photo is ancient.

2010 ancient.


You may have seen last month's news from Gwyneth Paltrow's trainer about how cycling is making us fat. It's misleading, though, because she's mostly saying that all cardio and no solid resistance training (weights, kettlebells, etc.) can be a recipe for stalling out. And that "fat" is most likely bulk in the legs/thighs due to added, awesome muscle (because spinning DOES provide resistance that running does not).

ETA -- clarification, I in NO WAY agree with the person interviewed that muscle bulk is fat or bad or anything negative. I was actually surprised to see it described this way, and somewhat outraged.

So maybe that's IT. Or at least part of IT.

The "struggle" that is really just irksome more than anything else, but I'll take muscle weight, that's cool. You guys have had such thoughtful comments about this latest quest of mine to "get back" to a certain weight, and I think it's understandable that some of you are frustrated/concerned that I care at all about the number on the scale. Honestly, I'm not fixated as much as it may seem, but writing things down in a blog can sure make it seem that way.

I focus on weight, the silly number, because it's an easy, quantifiable ways to gauge what's going on. I may find out in the end that I just can't get down to what I weighed before I had Ada. In which case, all these small tweaks and dietary modifications will be purely for my health -- and I'm cool with that. Mostly, I've been on a diet of pizza and beer, and it's a small way I can work toward eating better and feeling better.

Still, I do think checking weight can serve a purpose, at least from time to time. As someone with an eating disorder in her past, I certainly try to keep these methods to a minimum. Which is one reason I don't do calorie counting. I don't want to get High School Skinny or anything like that.


// MOVE MORE

Between running 4-5 days a week, cycling 1-2 days a week, and doing some yoga -- I think exercise is going well. We finally bought a kettlebell, so I'd like to start doing 1-2 days a week of a 30 or so minute workout with it to supplement, along with getting back into my bodyweight strength routine.

// DRINK LESS

I haven't had beer or wine during the week, and I'm feeling really good about it. In the winter, I tend to forget to drink as much water, so I'm usually operating on a small level of dehydration, which alcohol just exacerbates. So, I've been waking up in the morning feeling much clearer-headed. I love that feeling. I still need my nice, tall dark beer on the weekend, and I'm looking forward to celebrating Stephen's 30th on Saturday!

// CHALLENGE MY BODY

Thankfully the snow has melted, so I'm going to be able to get in a solid fartlek and hill workout this week. My long run showed me that all those weeks of slugging along in the snow weren't for nothing. I've still retained my usual pace and may have even become a stronger runner through my hardcore outdoor running attempts in slush.

// ADD MORE VEGGIES

I showed you guys a glimpse into some of the cheap foods we eat in winter this week -- and beyond that, I've been eating lots of veggies. I have a great recipe I'm hoping to share tomorrow that involves a bunch of roasted veggies in a burger . . . with enough extra the next night or two to make quesadillas and even soup!

// SKIP DESSERT (ON OCCASION)

I found an 85% dark chocolate that I love, and I've been sticking with a bar or two of that versus lots of baked goods for the last couple weeks. It's satisfying and I'm also getting all those awesome benefits of chocolate -- of which there are many.

// WEAR REAL CLOTHES

With recording all those fun videos for my new YouTube channel, I've been putting on more makeup and dressing up more. It's sort of an added benefit of the whole thing, which is great! I'll take it.

// WRITE IT DOWN

Nope. I didn't write anything down this week. But you guys have told me that even a simple paper account of my eating/exercise will show me little areas for improvement and opportunity. So, I'm going to try to get on that soon.

Alright. Check-in time! 

How are your diet/fitness goals going?

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Blaming My Weight Gain On My Family

I mean, I'd like someone else to blame besides myself when it comes to these extra 7 pounds I'm carrying around. Yesterday I may have discovered I lost one whole pound over the course of a week, but the scale bounces back every other day it seems. (Which is why I hate using it to measure in the first place. PS: Have you seen this 5 pounds of fat versus muscle photo?)

OK. So, one of the hardest parts about trying to lose weight now versus when I was younger is -- as mentioned in the title -- having a family. Well, having a husband was enough, too -- but now I'm responsible for making sure my toddler's belly is full with good foods at all meals. I no longer stock the refrigerator entirely for myself. I don't cook meals just for me. I can't necessarily eat meals when I feel like eating or shift according to my particular schedule on any given day. Or cater randomly to my own mood or feelings.

Yeah. Call me a whaaambulance. But balancing food, diet, and family is difficult.

Don't you agree?

When I was working outside the home, I had control over my breakfast and lunch because I ate these meals alone for the most part. I had a good, no, great routine down and certain go-to meals that worked, but since I started working from home (Video), this has all changed. I now cook almost all our meals -- save breakfast -- with the entire family in mind.

Stephen runs over 50 miles a week, along with some intense cross-training, so he eats like a college athlete and is rail thin. And somehow I'm surprised when I match his eating and gain weight. Hmmm. Ada, on the other hand, goes every other day with being super picky and I feel like I often spend much more energy paying attention to what she's eating and neglecting my own plate in the process. However, unlike a common mistake a lot of moms make, I'm not forgetting to eat. Quite the opposite. I grab whatever is most convenient and filling and pleasurable to fill my stomach and move onto the next task.

And with being so busy and distracted, I've also allowed my mental energy at meals to dwindle. I find myself rushing through meals, even when Stephen and I get a chance to head out to eat ourselves. The food is gone in two seconds flat because I'm so used to shifting my attention to the next thing. Food has truly become fuel, and I guzzle whatever gives me the most energy, even if it's candy.

It sounds like a bunch of excuses and I know I could be managing it better. I think it was important for me to pinpoint the whole family thing as an issue, though. Now I can try and move past it. So far, my non-dieting methods are working OK. I can't say I've been able to stick with all of them, but here's a check-in:

// Move More: 

I did three 30-minute moderate intensity bike rides in addition to my running last week. They were at a pace that would be similar to a brisk walk. I think it helped me not only get my body moving to burn some calories, but also got my energy up through nothing more than additional activity. So far this week, I haven't been doing as well, so maybe I'll get on that today.

// Drink Less: 

Geez.

It was a holiday weekend, and I feel whenever Stephen is home, it's not a weekday . . . even if it's, say, Monday. I would like to limit drinking to one drink maybe twice a week. But I definitely had drinks 3 or 4 nights in a row, probably because I was solo nervous about Ada's MRI. Back to sparkling water for me this week. I notice a huge difference in bloat even from just one drink.

// Challenge My Body:

I did a great interval workout last week, but then we got another snow storm, so it was difficult to get in some harder workouts running-wise. Once the clouds parted, I did head out and do a challenging hill-repeat workout on the snow-covered sidewalks/roads. It wasn't as fast as I would have normally done it, but I was proud of myself for doing the hills and not skipping them and making excuses regarding weather. I ran 29 miles outside last week.

// Add More Veggies:

I definitely did a good job with this one. I like making lunches using frozen veggies and topping with eggs. That's a really easy way to do it. Otherwise, if we made pizza, we topped it heavily with vegetables. And I put a nice dose of greens on the side of most meals last week. Adding more protein for breakfast has helped my mornings, though.

// Skip Dessert (On Occasion):

I did OK for a couple days, but then I was back again with those "healthy" Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Bites . . . and that sort of did me in. I need to work on this area this week. I used to make chocolate greek yogurt, like this "recipe" here, and maybe that will be my new go-to, at least for a while.

// Wear Real Clothes: 

Yup. It's not as comfortable, but wearing my jeans and regular shirts sure does keep me aware of how my body feels. I'd be lying if I told you I like wearing my real clothes right now. They are tight and actually put me in a bad mood. I wish I could be more motivating and positive about my current body image, but it's the truth.

// Write it Down:

I started the week trying to track some stuff using MyFitnessPal, but honestly -- I don't like entering numbers. I get too caught up in it -- so I stopped. Instead, I think I might try something written out versus on the computer. I like the idea of this weight chart and a little incentive system (yeah, apparently we use bribes for Ada . . . and I think they might work for me, too!).

POUNDS LOST: Looks like 1 lb in a 1 week. At least that seems sustainable.

Are you trying to lose weight? How is it going for you?

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A Body In Motion

I haven't weighed myself since, well, I don't know when. It's not that I'm terribly concerned with a specific number on the scale, however -- when I notice my favorite clothes (and many of the rest) don't fit well anymore, I like to know what the damage is. So, I went out and purchased a fresh battery, popped it in my scale, and weighed myself last night.

I wasn't shocked.
I wasn't terribly disappointed or frantic.
I was, instead, informed.

I am a solid 7 pounds up since the last I knew my weight over six (?) months ago. This winter has been tough, there's no denying it, and despite getting in a good number of outdoor runs, I haven't been as active as I'd like. What this new number shows me is that a body out of regular, daily motion tends to hibernate and eat lots of carb-and-sugar heavy foods to stay warm when the temperatures dip well below zero.

(And this is just what's hanging around. We're getting another 6-10 inches today!)

OK. Let's make that whole last statement less passive, I take full responsibility.

What now? I hesitate to write/blog about weight loss, since it's a somewhat touchy subject to put out there in black and white. It's also something I don't have a lot of experience with, since my activity used to completely wash away my bad eating habits. Turning 30 has definitely impacted my metabolism, but -- more -- my habits are drastically different than they were even three years ago.

See what I mean?

• Working from home means less walking around. I used to walk during lunch breaks or at very minimum during breaks. I also had to walk 1/4 to 1/2 mile to/from my car each day -- all on top of my regular running schedule. Several miles of walking each day that I no longer do.
• Whereas I used to pack semi-healthy lunches and even breakfasts, I now have my entire refrigerator and pantry shelves at my disposal all day long. I can whip up anything my imagination can dream up at a moment's notice.
• We quit our gym, which means I haven't had access to weights and classes I might regularly tack onto my running routine. Having a structured environment for this sort of stuff makes it easier to stick with, along with the guilt of spending the money and not going. I still get regularly cross-training via our spinning bike, but I've become lazy with regard to my push-ups, etc.
• My priorities have shifted along with my new role as a mom (it isn't inevitable -- there are plenty of awesome #motherruners, but I've allowed in for the sake of better balance). My training is still important, but definitely isn't foremost in my mind anymore. If life takes over, I skip my workouts much more willingly than I did in the past. 
• I also used to have way more time to think about myself -- my appearance, my body, my running, etc. -- I simply don't spend the same amount of mental hours thinking about, well, me anymore. I think this is a good thing, but I can also see how I need to invest more in myself versus always in others.

So, being completely honest with myself, I can see why I might weigh more now versus then. And I do have some motivation/reason to trim down a bit, as I look in the next six months or so to get pregnant again. I'd like to be at my fighting weight, which I think sounds a bit incredibly ridiculous and, well, possibly vain -- but I'd argue what woman doesn't feel this way, at least on some level?

And instead of going crazy working out (too much), etc, during pregnancy -- I'd rather take a preemptive attack now and nurture myself when the time comes.


First thing is first (image source): I won't be going on a diet. But there are certainly some obvious areas of my eating and exercise that I can easily swap or modify that I think might help. Here are some ways I'm hoping to change my habits that don't involve calorie counting or traditional diet methods.

// MOVE MORE

Not just running, but taking walks or finding excuses to move my body beyond training. I'd like to make a goal to even just move 30 minutes to an hour more a day than I do now. I started a couple days ago with a moderate pace spinning bike "ride" while Ada ate her breakfast. The weather is still pretty cold and snowy to be dragging Ada out for walks, but I know it will warm soon.

// DRINK LESS

It's not just my nightly beer that might be keeping me more on the bloated side. I have landslided into caloric beverage territory this winter. Hot chocolate, countless homemade chai lattes, "natural" sodas (I love me some Ginger Brew!), fresh juices, and -- yes -- beer. I'd like to reserve these drinks for weekends or special occasions, not indulge every single day or, in some cases, multiple times a day. Obviously, I would like to drink more water and I absolutely love sparkling water, so hopefully that will quell my fizz craving. (Have you guys tried Poland Spring's Raspberry-Lime? Yum.)

// CHALLENGE MY BODY

A lot of slow miles dragging along in the snow? It shows dedication, that's for sure. I'm doing well with my running and I'm sticking to my plan. Thankfully, my half marathon workouts are kicking up a notch this week with more speed and hill work, and my body is feeling it! I need to do more fartleks, speed sessions and things that challenge versus maintain my fitness levels. Along with running, I need to really incorporate my upper-body and strength training. We bought a 30-pound kettlebell, so I'd like to do a workout maybe twice or 3x/week -- that should do the trick. 

// ADD MORE VEGGIES

I like to approach eating with what I can add versus take away. I do eat a lot of vegetables and fruits now, but not enough, admittedly. I'd like my veggies to take up half my plate, not a quarter or third. And I think protein is another focus area. We've been eating a lot of veggie-topped pizzas, which definitely feature a lot of bread and cheese. So, meal planning will definitely be at play here. I think the slow cooker will also be helpful. Eating more protein for breakfast should start the day off right, too.

// SKIP DESSERT (ON OCCASION)

Along with drinking lots of calories, I've also got into the habit of eating dessert(s x 1,000) every single day. I recently wrote an article about the health benefits of chocolate (it's not out yet, but it's a good one -- and I'll share ASAP!). But most of the benefits can be taken in with a couple small squares of dark chocolate, not an entire batch of cookies or pan of brownies. As with drinks, I'd like to save full-on desserts for special occasions and weekends and the rest of the time snack on a couple pieces of dark chocolate.

// WEAR REAL CLOTHES

Yes. An undeniable luxury of working from home is that I can wear yoga pants or leggings every single day if I want to. While it's been super comfortable and great, it's also not working out so well for me. How my clothes fit is how I usually monitor my "weight" or -- rather -- my habits. I need to bust out the real pants on most days, not only to take pride in my appearance, but also so I don't become scale-dependent.

// WRITE IT DOWN

I'm putting out my intentions not for judgement or review, but -- selfishly -- because I think it will help me stick to my plan. I also think writing about it from time to time in a personal journal (and even a bit on here) will give me that mental space to think about myself and my goals.

After all, this isn't so much about losing 7 pounds as it is waking up and seeing that a lot of my habits have just changed and could be better. I'll excited to see what these seemingly easy changes/swaps do. Again, I don't care so much about the actual number on the scale, but I'd like to fit back into my pants because I know it's not all new muscle down there!

I feel good putting this all out there.

Thanks for reading + stay tuned!

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The Meal Diaries

Wow it's taken me a long time to discover MyFitnessPal. You guys have mentioned it from time to time + my mother-in-law uses it everyday. So, I decided to make an account last week. I'm not really on a diet, but I could definitely focus on what I'm eating better. I'm sure you can tell I go through periods of caring a TON about what I eat and then abruptly dropping it.

I think that's only normal, no?

I'm only a couple days in, but for those of you who are interested -- I feel like I'm learning a lot from using this thing! I've even downloaded the (free) app onto our iPad. I feel like this is starting to sound like an advertisement, but -- nope -- I'm just learning the ropes and pretty happy with what I'm discovering so far.

I don't love tallying up my calories, so I'm trying my best to just eat when I'm hungry and choose foods wisely (carrots/hummus versus Snickers bar). Looking at the things I eat -- right there on the screen -- certainly brings some glaring dietary mistakes to my attention.

It's making me, uh, accountable! Yes!

Like sugar. Oh, my struggles with sugar. I almost always reach my daily allotment before dinner even rolls around with all the fruit and juice and smoothies. Didn't really think of all those "healthy" snacks in that way -- but I should try to balance out with more veggies. Salt, too. I need to stop cooking with so much salt. And when I check out my percentages, I'm heavy on the carbs and fats end. They're surely convenient and tasty, and apparently that's how I roll.

I'm still carrying around an extra 5 pounds of weight after pregnancy. Or maybe by now I can't even blame pregnancy. Laziness with my diet. So, I'm hoping by logging my foods and being more aware of, say, spoonfuls of Nutella + their impact on staying steady or possibly getting back to where I was previously. Yeah. By logging this stuff, I'm hoping some of it will sort out on its own.

Which brings me to a question for those of you who use this, or a similar, method to help keep yourselves on track. If you're athletic, how do you determine your daily caloric requirements? I'm in this weird in-between stage. No longer nursing, I think my needs are less than they were a month or so ago. But with a new half marathon training cycle on the horizon, I want to make sure I'm fueling my workouts properly.


Food = energy = kick-ass speed sessions = new PRs. I guess that's where I get a little frustrated with MyFitnessPal. I don't really feel like I can adequately track my activity. It's good, but clunky + still has its limitations. So any tips on how to maximize the functionality in that regard would be really helpful.

And I guess the other beef I have with it is tracking success by using weight as the barometer. I've started doing a lot of kettlebells + squats. And I plan to delve into some more strength training soon. So, weight -- at least for me -- doesn't really seem like it will tell me much. I wish there were other goals you could choose. Maybe there are and I just haven't found them yet?

Do you keep a food diary? Or are you interested in starting one? I think it can be an excellent thing to try out for a while . . . and some people even benefit from doing it for, well, life. I'd love to hear your thoughts!

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My Postpartum Fitness Challenge

It's crazy, but in a few days, we'll be a full year from when the whole pregnancy and parenting adventure began. And as much as I enjoy riding out the whole "I-just-had-a-baby" thing, I have to admit it's getting rather, well, old.

Ada is going to be 4 months in a couple weeks. Life with a newborn baby is getting a bit more predictable. Our breastfeeding relationship and my supply are both well established after months of hard work. Best of all, I feel nearly back to my normal self physically.


I've been running since 3 weeks postpartum. And I am now in a place where I feel ready to train again. Not just run, but train to get my paces back and to increase strength. When I was pregnant, running was all about staying fit and healthy during pregnancy.


I immediately gave up on running hard when I saw the plus sign on my pregnancy test. All those months of taking it easier felt great and even helped to heal my IT-band injury that plagued me during the 2010 marathon season.

I'm so thankful to have continued chugging along until my 37th week. And I developed a new stronger relationship with running that was almost purely focused on enjoyment versus competition.


And then I had Ada and my attention moved toward getting out of the house for my sanity between feedings. It worked for for a while. But as the months have rolled on, I've felt a nagging dissatisfaction with my workouts. Trouble with motivation. A weird-for-me focus on my weight and extreme disappointment when breastfeeding didn't magically and immediately give me my old body.

As much as I'd like to continually remind myself that my body has done something miraculous in having a baby, which it most definitely has, I -- like most people -- don't have a perfect body image and -- yes -- have struggled with my transition over the past year. I'm not ashamed to admit this to you all. I think it's a common mental-thing that comes with so much change (like gaining 29 pounds) in a short period of time.


This is all a very long introduction to my new personal fitness challenge. I realized that it's not exactly the number on the scale that's weighing me down. No, my weight normally fluctuates during the year and throughout different training cycles -- and I don't necessarily give it much thought.

Instead, I have underestimated exercising hard and its positive impact on my life before Ada. It was my true stress release and gave me a feeling of accomplishment when I'd reach new PRs or other goals. And to combat new insecurities I'm feeling -- as well as to get back into better shape -- I'd like to get back to it!

I don't have specific goals at the moment. But I have a few general ideas for where I'd like to be by the summer.

• I'd like to run a 7 minute mile. (My fastest ever was run a couple months before pregnancy and was in the high 6:40s.)
• I'd like to get my upper-body strength back. (Before pregnancy, I was able to do 5 chin-ups and up to 60 pushups at a time. I had to give up a lot of upper-body focus as my stomach grew . . . for obvious reasons!)
• I'd like to incorporate ab-work into my regular routine. It's something I've never done. But I've certainly lost a lot of core strength that I used to take for granted.
• And I would like to fit into a few pairs of my old jeans (which means losing a dress size). This item is the least important to me right now. Though I'm about 8 pounds above my usual pre-pregnancy weight-range, I'd like to try to lose just 5 pounds by the summer.

Why blog about it? Accountability. With caring for Ada, I've found myself letting a lot of workouts slide. I'm fine with skipping from time to time, but I'm letting it happen more and more. Also, as we open our new site in the next couple of weeks, (never home)maker is going to be more fitness-centric. Anyway, I got my general structure from Brittany over at A Healthy Slice of Life. Her postpartum updates have been encouraging and her approach is moderate and healthy. We chatted a bit on Twitter today and agreed that it's best to compare yourself to, well, yourself. (Thanks, Brittany!)

BASE STATS:


Sharing my weight and measurements is something I debated. (BTW, I'm 5'7" -- which is something I forgot to mention in the original post.) But with accountability comes full disclosure. In other news: Wow. That mile was difficult. But it's important I keep speed-training if I want to get near my old race paces. Also, I imagine it looks ridiculous to count half a chin-up. I felt quite accomplished nearing the bar, so I decided to add it regardless!

BASE PHOTOS:


Alright. I guess that's what we're starting with. Check back in April for an update on my progress. Short-term, I'm hoping to shave at least a few seconds off my mile time. I'd also like to add about 10 pushups and 5 situps to those that fit into my comfort zone.

What are your current fitness goals? And how do you stay accountable and on-track to meeting them? I'm already dreading next month's timed mile! But I know it's the only way I'm going to push myself. So, in a way, it's also exciting.

ALSO: HAPPY 28TH B-DAY TO STEPHEN!


Stay tuned for the awesome chocolate-banana (and beer!) cake I made for the occasion. I write this with absolutely zero exaggeration: It is the best. cake. ever.

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New Year and My Weight Loss Journey

HAPPY NEW YEAR! We had a fantastic, fun-filled holiday, but it's time to get back to reality . . . and to posting regularly. We've taken the tree down (but not before we gave Ada one last good afternoon with it). Stephen returns to work tomorrow. I continue my maternity leave until June. And -- hello, January -- it's all of a sudden wicked cold outside and snowing.

My diet of cookies, too, must give way to one filled with fruits and veggies. I didn't exactly consider when Ada was born is how much time she'd take up during my days. Of course I knew it'd be a lot -- but surely the whole not-fitting-in-showers thing wouldn't happen to me. Sigh.

In these first 6 weeks, there have been (many) times when getting in a real meal has been nearly impossible. Enter grab-and-go cookies. Let's just say that my post-pregnancy weight loss has stalled out for the past three weeks.

Though I've lost 18 pounds since Ada was born, I'm a solid 10 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight.


(Here's a pic of me at 4 weeks pregnant -- so -- essentially pre-pregnancy):


I'm running five days a week (and will write more about my "training" later in the week). And I feel great. Many of my clothes fit, so I'm not focused so much on the number 10. Still, I need to clean up my act. Three of those pounds were GAINED during the holiday season. A diet filled with sugar and saturated fat isn't going to do me any favors going forward.

I mentioned a possible detox in my last post. After more consideration, I think a detox would be difficult given that I'm breastfeeding. The new plan is to eat when I'm hungry, but to trade sweets for sweet potatoes.

Here's what breakfast #1 looked like today:


OATS:

• 1/3 cup rolled oats
• 1/3 cup almond milk
• 1/3 cup water
• 1/2 teaspoon maple syrup

SMOOTHIE:

• 8 large strawberries (frozen)
• 1/2 large banana (frozen)
• 1 teaspoon golden flax meal
• 2/3 cup almond milk

It might not look like a lot. And you're right. It's only around 250 or 300 calories, which is why I labeled it breakfast #1. Since I'm hungry all the time (yup -- breastfeeding strikes again), I'm breaking up my meals into six food events throughout the day that will total around 2,000 to 2,200 calories. This number is a rough estimate, however. I've never been much of a calorie-counter. In dropping weight, I figure I have to be at least semi-conscious of the numbers. It's an adjustment to read labels for sure.

My mission today is to pick up foods at the grocery store that are easily grabbed out of the fridge for snacks. Like carrots, apples, etc. I'm also planning to do a big bulk cook for some easy lunch options (that I'll post!). I'm thinking perhaps some type of chunky couscous salad since I don't love regular salad. Any ideas?

Well, Ada's awake. Back to it!

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Healthy Living Week: Jen's Story

Jen writes:

In the summer of 2008 I finally got tired of being unhappy and overweight. I was a chubby kid all throughout middle school and high school and entered college at a size 14. I never considered myself "fat," but just a bigger girl. During college, I tried sporadic diets but nothing ever really stuck. Instead of gaining the freshman 15, I gained the freshman 50.


I rarely exercised and ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. By the the time I graduated college, I was the heaviest I've ever been at 220 pounds, which is considered obese for my 5'4" frame. I hated looking at pictures of myself and often felt disgusted looking in the mirror. I knew I had to do something, or I would remain unhappy.


One day, I randomly picked up the book Skinny Bitch to see what it was all about. For some reason, the harsh words the book actually stuck with me, and I wanted to make a big change in my lifestyle. This wasn't a fad -- it was for real. I was going to do something about my weight once and for all.

I started going on daily walks, and incorporating small amounts of exercise every into my daily routine, along with completely changing my diet. I began with eating 1200-1400 calories day, mostly of which consisted of veggie burgers, and special K cereal. This worked for me! I gave up red meat and pork as well. I would eat lean chicken breast and turkey sandwiches, and big fresh salads. I finally found a "diet" I could stick with: Portion control and removing high fat foods from my diet. I started losing weight: about 2 pounds a week.

One day, while going for a walk at my high school track, I had a desire to run. I had flashbacks of coming in last place during "the mile" in gym class, but I ran one lap anyway. I was so proud myself! I kept going back to the track and increasing my running distance and eventually ran one mile without stopping. Running would soon become my exercise of choice, and it helped me lose the rest of my weight.


As of today, I've lost over 80 pounds. I've completed five 5Ks, a 3.5 mile race, a four mile race, and a 15K. I've discovered a passion in life and I feel better than I ever have. I started my own blog, where I've found a community of people who have the same passion as I do. I'm currently training for my first half marathon. Through healthy eating and fitness I've truly found myself and I know I'm capable of anything, and can do anything I set my mind to.

Thanks for reading!

Jen (from Jen is Green)

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