Simple Cleaning Lessons

My house is tidy. Mostly picked up . . . most of the time. But it's actually quite dirty. Like, stuff-stuck-on-the-floors, soap-scum-residing-in-the-tub-for-months, need-to-scrub-all-the-toilets sort of dirty. I go in waves with my enthusiasm for cleaning. Right now in the third trimester? It's exhausting just thinking about getting on my hands and knees to do the work.

I've read all sorts of articles on embracing the madness. That a messy home is a home full of love. And all that stuff. But I've also hit the nesting stage and it's bothering me -- BIG time. I would like my house clean. At least sort-of, kind-of clean. And I think there's a happy balance to be had.

Nerd alert: I spent a good deal of Eloise's nap looking up cleaning videos on YouTube yesterday afternoon. Yes, I have a writing deadline I should have been working on. Yes, I could have probably better used that time to actually get off my butt and clean. But I'm desperate. I am trying so hard to figure out a better way to keep my house clean, not just picked up.

There are a few things I learned, and I thought I'd share them here. Because I was THISCLOSE to calling a cleaning company, which is a luxury I think to be totally worth it if you have the funds. I cannot allocate money in that direction right now, so figuring out a way to simplify my cleaning practices is key. That said, we may be saving up some dollars and cents to hire occasional cleaning in the first few months after baby comes this time around. Because no new, breastfeeding-constantly-always mama has time (OK. maybe time, but desire!) to scrub with three kids and a husband who's gone six days a week.

// 1: Stop zone cleaning. 

This was interesting to me. Several articles and videos I watched said to stop approaching the house from a "clean the living room" or "clean the bathroom" perspective. Instead, do tasks like dusting throughout the entire house first, then move on to cleaning windows and mirrors, then move on to wiping down surfaces/scrubbing toilets/etc. and then to floors. I've never tried cleaning my house this way, so I am intrigued.

// 2: Prioritize. 

Stephen and I have really different cleaning styles. I get bogged down basically taking a toothbrush to every microscopic area that could be gone over. He goes really fast and glosses over a lot. We need to marry these approaches, at least sort of. Like I could be LESS detailed and he could be MORE detailed. But we need to prioritize the areas we want the cleanest together. Generally things like kitchen surfaces and toilets/tubs are big priorities. Dusting the tops of the kitchen shelves and ceiling fans might not be something that makes it as high up the list.

// 3: Gather together. 

I don't have one of those cleaning buckets or baskets. My cleaning supplies are scattered in different areas by room. Because as I mentioned before, I used to clean by room. But if you do tasks, it makes more sense to gather everything in a basket or cardboard box -- whatever -- and take it to the areas you're cleaning in that moment so you aren't running around the house like a crazy person.

// 4: Enlist your kids.

This is something I have just started doing recently, and I'm seeing how it goes. Ada is old enough now to help with more cleaning tasks. Since my belly has kept me from wanting to bend over, I'm taking full advantage and asking her to do more. For example, after dinner ends up all on the kitchen floor . . . I ask her to go through with our hand vacuum each night and suck it up. No, she doesn't do a perfect job. But I don't have to do it. I have also asked her to start picking up toys (which is easier having gotten rid of so many!) with Eloise. Their top motivator is playing cleanup songs on YouTube. Yes, I could have started that way sooner, but I am a control freak and often figured it would be faster if I just did it.

// 5: Set a timer.

This is my own tip, because otherwise I think I may spend the next year cleaning without any breaks. I am planning to set a timer each day for 15 minutes to dedicate to cleaning. On another day each week, I may set it to 30 minutes or -- alternatively -- 15 minutes, twice that day. And then on the weekend, I may set it to 45 minutes or 15 minutes, THREE times in a day (with the whole family's help that day). I have trouble setting out to clean and having no set start or end time. If I break it into chunks, I think it will feel more manageable. I don't want to spend hours cleaning, but I am hoping by dedicating time each day -- even just 15 minutes -- I'll be able to power through better.


Do you have any cleaning tips to share?

I've seen so many "rhythms" and methods for taking each day to zone clean . . . but none of them have ever worked for me.

And if you're curious, my favorite cleaning YouTuber is Clean My Space. She uses VERY simple DIY cleaners. Mostly baking soda, vinegar, and water with microfiber cloths. No fussy recipes. She also gives tons of tips for fast cleaning and more deep cleaning.

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Why I've Quit My Capsule Wardrobe

For such a long time, I was convinced that a capsule wardrobe would save me so much time and money. I think it does for many people. For years, I weeded my clothing down to just 25 items or so every spring, summer, fall, and winter. I felt a lot of pride looking into my bare closet. I felt like I had such control and so many options.

The thing is, I grew tried of constantly giving so much attention to my clothes. I work from home, after all, and sometimes I just stay in my lounge outfits all day. That's a luxury I know not everyone has. But in my life -- right now -- it doesn't make sense. One day, it dawned on me. What I really needed to do was to stop buying clothing altogether. That's the root issue here. After all, when I was searching to create a perfect capsule for any given season -- I'd inevitably find gaps. And I'd need to fill those gaps with almost a laser focus.

So, I've stopped doing that.

What have I done instead? Well, being pregnant twice in recent history has been tricky when it comes to clothing. I can't give a full tutorial on best practices if your body isn't constantly changing. I have several pairs of maternity jeans and shorts and flowy shirts. I've been sticking to those. I did buy a few new pieces with this last pregnancy, but they're just undershirts that I wear under things I already have. And jeans. I had to size up my jeans from previous pregnancies. No shame.

When I haven't been pregnant, I've tried collecting pieces (and now simply holding onto pieces) I can see working no matter the season and no matter my age. For me, and as most of you know, this means a lot of FLAX.


I don't have the money to spend on new FLAX or many of the second-hand linen pieces you'll see circulating eBay or Etsy. (The dress/tunic above is literally the ONLY thing I have ever bought full price and new.) In fact, I'm sort of disgusted by how high the markups are. More power to the people who are reaping the rewards -- but I find most of my linen for between $5 and $25 at various thrift stores and consignment shops locally. I don't need to spend $200+ on a piece of similar value.

End rant. Where was I? 

OK. For me, I like linen. Even in the winter months, I layer it with some cotton basics and pair with jeans. It works for me and my casual, work-from-home lifestyle. I've liked the way this style has looked since I was a teenager and went to my first Angelheart Barn Sale. It's meant to be loose-fitting. This means it accommodates my body as it changes. I'm able to wear the same sizes even when I weigh totally different weights, have different shapes, etc.

It's definitely not for everyone, which I have learned when I've polled readers on different looks on my Instagram. But I'm cool with that. I've never really dressed for what's stylish in the moment. The fact that FLAX clothing has been around as long as I have shows me that it will weather trends, even if it goes out of its current rise in popularity.

Right now I have all my clothing for all seasons in my closet. I have probably 60-70 things. I haven't counted, but I just know how much fits in there. Where I'm focusing my efforts on simplicity is getting rid of stuff that I haven't worn in a long while (mostly as I see them, not as a big organizing task) and not really buying more unless I find it on the cheap or it brings me joy. Because while I have stopped shopping mindlessly and regularly for clothing, if I find something I really like -- and it's $7? It may be worth it. So long as I don't do it all the time.

I realize this post may not be helpful to many of you. But I'm sick of trying to cultivate a perfect minimalist or capsule wardrobe. I'm sick of it being a THING online. And I was totally trying to make it a thing, too. It's exhilarating in a way, right? BUT it wasn't s.i.m.p.l.e for me in practice. (Which is the core of my new definition of simplification.) This new system is. And I find that I don't really have too much laundry of my own to contend with. I often wear the same things week after week . . . but at least this way I have more options.

I'm not a style icon.
I'm not a fashion blogger.
I just don't care THAT much.

My kids clothing, on the other hand, is another story entirely.

And I'll get to that later this week!

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Our Play Spaces

As I mentioned in the last bit on toys (why we sold most of our toys), we've been paring down and clearing out. These are the two play spaces we now have in our home. (I guess I should also mention Ada's doll closet in her room. I will get to that another day.). 

Why two?

Because the basement one doesn't get tons of use in the warmer months. In winter, we're down there a lot. So, it's worth having an extra area in the family room. It is also adjacent to my desk and workspace, which is helpful if I'm finishing a deadline, like today, and need the kids occupied.

Anyway, here they are after our clear out:

I wish I had snapped before photos. But I did this all on a very crazy nesting high. Basically, the living room benches had tons of random toys in them that would spill out all over the first level of our home. And the basement had two 9-cube organizers overflowing with toys and puzzles, blocks all over the ground, and a bunch of other multiples of things like dolls, puppets, and other assorted things the girls never played with.

Picture chaos.

Yeah.

That's it.

I have the highest hope for the cart in the living room, so I thought I'd show you what's in it. I have always complained about the age difference between my girls, but these toys seem to occupy them both nicely. And, OK. I'm not trying to drink the punch . . . but I'm getting more and more into Waldorf philosophies with regard to play and child-rearing.

I don't plan to follow all of it or send my kids to a specific Waldorf school (or homeschool, here's why). But I have always felt like organized sports/activities for younger kids and coached education from young ages . . . well, it just wasn't something I agreed with. Waldorf says kids need to play and explore and be exposed to the world without that type of structure. Toys are very open-ended and made from natural materials. Nature is priority. Seasons and holidays are to be celebrated with ritual. And predictable rhythm is so very important. I won't get into all the details right now, but it jibes with lots of stuff I've absentmindedly been striving for and is cool to see it in one place.

Here's where I'm starting in our home.

With the play cart.


This leads into another discussion and more explanation. But -- microblogging. Today I simply wanted to show you our spaces. We have so much less than we used to have. It might still be more than you care to have or you may -- instead -- feel like we don't have much. Who knows. Whatever the case, I'd love to gather questions or other directions you guys want me to take (the stuff you want to hear about) for the next post.

Leave a comment on the blog or on another platform so I can gather them! I will also discuss some of the homemade stuff we've put in the play cart to lower the price tag of all the expensive things you can buy. Because you can go crazy with Waldorf-style toys. They're gorgeous. But I cannot afford them. I digress!

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Why We Sold Most Our Toys

A child's job in the first several years of life is play. Naturally, parents and loved ones want to cultivate this important skill by providing plenty of interesting play-things to kids. Toys are also how we show affection and love, especially if gifts are our number one love language. There are countless beautifully organized playrooms you'll come across online that look like enchanted wonderlands. They're filled to the brim with organized bins of toys for every age and stage and season.

Thing is, in the almost seven years I've been a parent, I've grown to resent toys. I feel like a prisoner to them. First, I'll admit we're lucky to have the means to provide a good number of toys (and find them cleverly through second-hand shopping, etc.). And our kids have been the recipients of some very nice things over the years. But -- in the process -- we've amassed this huge collection. We've tried weeding. We've tried rotating. We're tried creating a sort of enchanted wonderland to encourage the critical skill of play.

What's been the result?

The kids ignore the toys most of the time. 

Except when they decide to throw them around.

We're left cleaning them out of every corner of the house. 

And the kids don't help.

Two of my simplification goals are to spend less time cleaning and to have my kids be more self-sufficient. So, this isn't going to work! I didn't plan it this way, but this post is going to be a three-parter.

In short: We decided to get rid of most of our toys last week. 

And my definition of "most" or "pared down" may be different from yours. In my eyes, what we did was quite radical, and it took me several years to work up the courage to make this step. After wading through a living room of toys, cleaning them up, and realizing that much of the stuff I'd been organizing had been played with very few times, I went to the local moms buy/sell/trade group and just started listing like a crazy person. Many of the items were snatched up within 10 minutes.

Other things, we took to the Salvation Army. And we're still finalizing the process today, as my basement looks like this:

What we're keeping:

• Play kitchen
• Play food
• Grocery cart
• Wooden register
• Mega Blocks
• Waffle Blocks
• Magnetic blocks
• Legos
• 3 baby dolls and a few accessories, like diapers and a couple outfits
• Ada's American Girl dolls + accessories
• A streamlined play cart that I'll get to later in the week
• Play doll house
• Musical instrument bin
• Sensory bean bin
• A set number of loved stuffed animals
• Fabric doll house for Ada
• Fabric Sesame Street doll house for Eloise
• A couple Sesame Street figures, puzzles, etc.

And I think that's mostly it. No, it isn't zero toys. It's not even just five toys or whatever minimalist goals I've run across other places online. But it's SO MUCH LESS than what we had. We had two 9-cube organizers that were bursting at the seams. They're both gone now and being used in other parts of the house as dressers. We had several large storage bins full of random toys. They're empty. We had a closet in the basement with leftover toys that didn't get much play -- it's empty.

What we got rid of was a lot and included several Little People play sets I had picked up second hand over the years. Many dolls that weren't getting any love. Tons of toys that were either broken or missing pieces. Lots of Barbies, Disney princess, and other character type toys that don't totally meet our interests. Gosh, there's a lot more and this process is continuing today, so I hope to share a fuller list on my next post (and edit down the keep list above), as well as how I sold or got rid of them. I've made nearly $200 in the last week, which is great.

How many toys do we hope to end up with? That's hard to say. I am thinking even fewer than we're keeping now. I feel that what we've done is just the first step, but already the girls are responding well. So, yeah. This is a huge topic. I'll devote the week to it, but if I get too in-depth today . . . I'll get bogged down and never publish!

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Defining Simple Living

What's at the heart of my issue with simple living? Well, its very definition is what. I've determined that there is no one-size-fits all approach to this philosophy. Yet, I feel like we're often bombarded by images and words and ideas that try to peg it in one "easy" to apply scenario.

It usually includes the following:

Making all foods from scratch
Paring down belongings to minimal amounts
Using homemade cleaners for home and body
Regularly disconnecting from media in its many forms
Having a regular house cleaning schedule
Having a well-edited capsule wardrobe
Cloth diapering
Keeping a garden 
Finding joy in the process of doing all the work
Etc., etc., etc.

But this all sounds like so much work, right?

The end result is appealing. A tidy house with food on the table and things seeming to be in order. A mind-clearing feeling of productivity. But it's TONS of work to get there. And I'm not saying that this IS simple living. I'm just saying these are the things I often see associated with it, among many, many other items and tasks.

I tend to get extreme when I try to apply something new to my life. And for me, living simply this way doesn't work because I can't get all the balls rolling at once. I can't even get half of them going to be entirely honest. It's a lot of toiling and trouble and then feelings of failure that creep in and ultimately squash efforts. The areas I struggle with may be different from the ones you struggle with. We're all different and have different skills. We all have different things that motivate or inspire us. And, as a result, we have different goals.

Again: Some many of these things aren't even simple! They just happen to produce an end result that may look that way. Like there's a semblance of more control and order and, therefore, simplicity and serenity.

I admit that I, Ashley, seem to have focused in the past on how my simple living looked on the outside. Both to other people (hello, blogging monster) and even to myself. If my home didn't resemble some muted linens-clad prairie abode, I was doing it all wrong -- obviously. If I didn't feel a sense of contentment and calm as I was grating a bar of soap or sweeping up freshly ground oats, I was doing it all wrong.

But as time has worn on, I have grown tired on the desire to appear I'm truly embodying a simple lifestyle. I just want to hurry the hell up already and LIVE in a way that feels freer and actually simpler. That might not always mean it's pretty. That might not mean I'm doing everything the most organic and wholesome way. And that might not mean I can address all areas at once.

That's right:

We can't do it all.

At least I cannot.

I've tried and failed many times.

We only have so much bandwidth. So, each of us has to choose the areas in our lives that we seek to simplify the most. I think choosing four or five areas as a focus, at least for me, is what I can handle. Like putting pots on a stove, I guess. Do I have many more areas I'd like to improve upon? Heck yes. But they'll need to go on the back burner until I can rotate things around.

Does this mean that some of these things aren't worth trying? No. There's plenty of reasons you might want to make your own cleaning supplies and cook from scratch. Money is top on my list. The environment is another, yet I intend to do disposable diapers again . . . so this motivation discussion is for another day.

Simple living: Doing things that actually make my life simple in practice.

Here are my five goals:

I want to spend less time cleaning.

I want my kids to be more self-sufficient.

I want to cook most all my meals from home to save money, but I want them to be speedy.

I want to live with fewer things and to stop shopping so much.

I want to get better at planning ahead.

I'll flesh these out more in my next post. But this is micro-blogging, after all! Tomorrow I turn 35. It seems like a way more important milestone than 30, yet it's one that I'm not dreading. I feel a certain wisdom and calm as I advance in the years because I feel like I'm finally getting to the bottom of all these goals I had as a younger person.

Happy birthday to me!

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Musings of an Ex-Blogger

I just can't relate to Instagram moms. Nobody is forcing me to. But with social media having such a central spot in daily life (again, my own fault in many ways) . . . I find myself musing on "fitting in" often. So, as I approach my 35th birthday, I've decided to just shed the layer of myself that still cares. It's been a process over many years. I have retreated more and more into my real life versus the one I used to mostly lead online, and -- oh -- how the line gets blurred.

Have you ever been in a conversation and said "well, my friend so-and-so's child does this or that". . . only to realize your friend is an online friend who lives across the country, and you've never actually met? I mean, that sounds ridiculous, but it has happened to me. I've been online in one way or another since like 2007. So, there's both good and bad in that. The extra support can be helpful when you're having trouble relating to people around you and can connect with someone on something specific. But then there's the comparison trap. Like, it gets bad with parenting and kids.

For example: My kid isn't taking accelerated math and reading Shakespeare yet, guys. Should I be worried?

I joke. But, yes, even I'm not immune to feeling a bit behind.

Ok. Where does the title of this post come in?

Well, I have taken to considering myself as more of an ex-blogger. (Can you tell? I've written all of, what, twice in the last two months!) The days of my recipes, DIYs, and writing making a splash on bigger sites or Pinterest feeds is way behind me. I used to get tens of thousands of hits a day on my site from a frozen banana bites post. That's hilarious to me. I mean, I made it BIG, friends.

Anyway, I've pecked along for the last several years and have almost entirely come to a stop this year. I have so many drafts in my blogger feed where I've written for half an hour . . . and when it comes time to post, I simply shut my computer and say to myself:

"Who cares!?"

As I've shared before, I don't live somewhere terribly interesting. There aren't gorgeous vistas or ocean views at every street corner. There isn't some lively city just bustling with activity or entertainment. I don't have unlimited time or funds to shop at farmers markets each day and choose fresh ingredients for nightly home-cooked gourmet meals. You get the idea.

Bloggers -- at least the ones people bother reading -- are INTERESTING for better or worse.

I, on the other hand, am an ordinary person.

Like, completely ordinary.

(That's cool with me, for the record.)

Where I live in an everyday sort of place. There are mostly tract homes that were built in the 1960s . . . many of them look alike and many of them, like ours, are modest. Because we have modest jobs and modest living wages. Our downtown area has made tremendous strides in the last 10 years that we've lived here, which is awesome -- it used to be tumbleweeds with interspersed gang violence -- but we don't go out all that much or feel like sharing too many details with strangers online. We cook fun meals on occasion, but I've been too tired lately to take photos or share recipes and -- let's be honest -- too busy feeding my face.

There's many more reasons I could list, but I am an ex-blogger with a neglected blog. And you'd think I'd just shut the darned thing down instead of stringing myself and those readers I have left along. I've threatened to do it many times, but I've resisted.

I mean, it feels good. It feels good to admit that I've taken myself out of the game. I will admit that I used to care what strangers thought about me, my lifestyle, my house, my running PRs, my kids, and my parenting. I really did. Instagram killed blogging for me. It used to be getting up in the wee hours of the morning and checking my blog reader for new updates. And now it's this ever-present photos and stories and constant visual reminders that people are living way more interesting lives than I am. Or that they have the energy to at least stage their lives in such a way that people fawn all over them.

This is turning into a rant. LOL. So, ex-blogging. It feels good and it feels . . . confusing? I still have this inner need to share. Maybe I need more friends? Maybe not. For an introvert, I've got plenty of good friends and am satisfied with my circle, however decentralized it may be. Just this week alone I'm having four mom-dates or play-dates, etc. (That's a lot for me! But I'm not lonely, so that's not why I retreat online, is what I'm saying.)

There is something I've enjoyed all these years about writing and then putting it out there to live on your screen. So, maybe it's habit that is hard giving up? Or maybe I'm lacking inspiration? Or maybe my life really is this ordinary that it's not worth sharing because, like I've thought many times, nobody cares.

AND THEN THAT'S THE HEART OF IT. I actually DO care about normal lives. I've found myself unsubscribing and rolling my eyes at those aspirational bloggers. Even the ones that profess that they're "down" with reality and us common-folk. I've just been clicking unsubscribe like mad in favor of connecting with everyday people, smaller bloggers who write about plain life lessons, and yadda, yadda, yadda.

It has given me some motivation to stop trying so hard to write something that people want to read. And, instead, to focus on sharing what I want to share with other ordinary people I'm not trying to impress or make envious. This is a long way of saying that, yes. I'm an ex-blogger who's trying to get back into the rhythm (ugh, this year's buzzword) of writing again. And I think I'll do what I did not too long ago where I simply share short snippets (microblogging) of whatever the hell I feel like, whenever I feel like it. But hopefully more regularly.

To those of you still reading, thank you.

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My Month of Yoga + Future Plans

How do I feel after engaging in regular yoga practice this month? I feel like a changed person. I realize how dramatic that sounds. But it's true. I set out at the start of the month to take three yoga classes a week at the studio where I got an introductory pass for just $40. I stuck with it and attended each and every class. I have just one left on my pass, which brings my total hours of yoga this month to nearly 24 hours. A full day of yoga.

I'm almost certain that's more hours of yoga than I've done in the past two or three years combined.

What I've noticed after all of this bending and stretching is no surprise. My strength and flexibility are greatly increased. Having practiced yoga since age 18, whether intensely or not-so, as well as having a childhood of gymnastics and dance . . . I will say that I've always been sort of "good" at it. About halfway through the month, it was like a switch flipped and all those years of work had come back. I can do splits again. I can put myself into wheel with ease. And it all feels really, REALLY good.

There are also things I just, well, can't do. I used to get so frustrated. But something has changed in my practice. I don't care so much about striking photo-worthy poses just to strike them or to show off. I am all about alignment and doing it the "right" way now. I have much more satisfaction with the journey rather than the destination. Maybe it's being older and having less ego as I approach the mat. The mind-body connection makes more sense now. It's everything.

Whatever the case, I cannot afford to keep up at this pace with studio classes. In February, I plan to scale back to two classes a week, which will be approximately $20/week or $80 for the whole month. In March, track season starts, and I'll be lucky if I get to one studio class a week. So, I figure it's worth the investment. I'll be supplementing with home practice to try to keep up with three to four hours of yoga week. My favorite YouTuber is Yoga with Adriene.

I also have a 5-year plan of sorts.

Eeek!

I hesitate to share because I always have this fear I won't actually do whatever it is I set out to do. I also haven't had a plan in quite a while, so it's both exciting and scary to be thinking this way. I'd like to take a teacher training by age 40 with the hope of deepening my own relationship with yoga and possibly teaching a few classes on the side. Basic trainings in my area can be completed in 10 full weekends for around $3,000. Why age 40? If we have another child, I don't see starting the process for a few more years. Plus, with Stephen's coaching schedule, it's not feasible, but that may change in the future.

Yoga + running. That's been my harder balance to strike. I've been running only between 12 and 15 miles a week this whole month. It feels great. But it leaves me feeling conflicted. I think part of it has been the weather. Part of it has been the new focus and feeling guilty to take even more time to exercise (there's only so much time, right?!). I don't know where I am as a runner. It's still this big part of me, but I have absolutely no desire to race or train at high levels. I think when spring comes around, I'd like to be back up at running 20 miles a week, though.

So, that's that.

Are any of you guys yoga teachers? Or are you thinking of becoming one? I have two favorite instructors. One of them is my age and the other is in her mid-60s. I figure if I obtained my certification by age 40, that's still a whole career ahead of me!

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Target Haul

As I always say, I'm a work in progress. I write one day about spending too much at Aldi, and today I'm sharing my Target haul. Confused much? I know. Anyway, I did take some stuff back from Christmas time, which is where I got the funds. These weren't entirely random purchases. Or, rather, that's how I'm rationalizing these buys. I hadn't been to Target in a good three weeks, though. So, this is progress.

Here's what I got:

The total cost was right about $50.

Which includes $12 of toilet paper.

Not pictured.

MODO dough looks really cool. It was around $5.50 per 3-pack. I realize that's expensive, but I do have a plan and reason I bought these. I actually often make my own play-doh. I found a great recipe, but I haven't had the best containers. Anyway, I saw these and I think they'll be perfect for filling with homemade doh once this stuff dries out, which it always does eventually. So far, I really like this play-doh stuff, though.

I got a pack of Valentines for Ada to fill out for her classmates. I'm actually volunteering at her class party this year. Excited for that. Anyway, I was in the $1 spot, which has turned into the $3-$5 spot in my opinion. I ran into a woman who had just moved to this country and she asked me to explain the whole Valentines thing to her. We had a nice chat and both decided on these.

Also in the $1 spot, I picked up a package of felt dollars and cents ($3). I figure the kids can use it when they play with their play kitchen. They often set up a shelf area like it's a mini store. I am also working on teaching Ada about cash and the value of money. Plus, I am a sucker for anything made of felt.

I got Ada a proper doll hairbrush ($5). She's been needing one for a while so her American Girl doll doesn't look like a hot mess. I am planning to write up a post on American Girl on a budget. Is anyone interested? I scored Ada's doll very gently used on Ebay. I have a lot of other tips. I feel they are very high quality and worth it.

Love Terra animals. I got Eloise a bear because she loves the bear on the Kodiak Cakes box. Very much like the more expensive brand -- love the weight and detail on these. Eloise will carry a single one around with her all day.

I needed a new set of measuring spoons. I decided on KitchenAid self-leveling ones. Can't go wrong with that added feature.

And then I swung by the makeup area and found that my favorite brand of cosmetics, Soap + Glory, had some stuff on clearance. I picked up bronzer for less than $4! Here's What's in My Makeup Bag these days, if you're curious.

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That Time I Spent $172 at Aldi

I used to boast that I could fill up a whole cart at Aldi and still come in well under $100. Well, I decided not to shop with a list a couple weeks ago. (That's grocery budget 101 stuff, Ashley!) And when I got to the front of the store and started tossing everything onto the belt, I realized I'd made a major mistake. It was one of those weeks when Aldi had, like, so many cool things that were those limited time buys. So, I got sucked in and stocked up.

And then: $172! Ahhhhhh! I was hoping for more like $100.

Here's what I bought:

I haven't gone over what our weekly food budget is in a while. It's been anywhere between $75 and $125 a week in recent years. As we examine our debt and budget options, we're still trying to figure out a number that would work well for us monthly. It needs to accommodate not eating out, school lunch stuff, and special things for our tiny toddler (because she NEEDS to eat, so sometimes I NEED to get her special stuff).

We've experimented with shopping once a month and had good success . . . so I realize that spending a ton at one time isn't always a reason to freak out. But this time was a mistake. A wakeup to get meal planning again. I do actually meal plan each week, but it's been very rough lately.

Anyway, this story had a happy ending. I was able to get groceries for like $65 this week, making the total $240 for the two weeks -- or -- $120/week. I think this sounds like a realistic grocery budget for us. I may bump it to $125 -- or -- $541 a month. Of course, the pay-off-our-loans girl in me says maybe we can shave it down to $500 a month.

But I need it to be realistic and leave some room for wiggle. We try our best to eat a variety of fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, etc. And without eating out, we like to cook a couple "fun" meals each week so we don't feel too deprived.

What I've found in my years of writing about our food budget is that grocery costs vary WILDLY across the country (and world). So, these figures may sound either astronomical to you or like "how can you even feed your family" on that amount. I get that. So, no judgement. I'm just sharing our struggles and triumphs with this stuff.

Whatever the case, I'm glad we're back into the rhythm of buying most everything at Aldi. There are still a few items we cannot get there. Tofu comes to mind. But resisting Wegmans has already lowered our food costs by quite a bit.

Do you have a grocery budget or just buy whatever? How do you figure out how much to spend? Do you end up revisiting the budget often -- like we seem to do?

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Tuesday Update Time

I tried capturing an update on Instagram yesterday, but my phone wouldn't save anything! Here's what I wanted to say. Also: Unrelated photo. I found this and my heart stopped. How is Eloise 19 months old?!

1 // I have made an appointment with a new OBGYN.

I finally did it. I didn't want to do it. But, still, yesterday I called to discuss fertility stuff. I need a renewed prescription for progesterone now that we've been TTC #3 for six months. But at this point, I may as well get my levels checked and possibly get an HSG. I also need to establish myself as a patient somewhere because my midwife left the area . . .  and there are no other midwives left in my old practice. And the OB I wanted to see there isn't accepting new patients. Stay tuned.

2 // Yoga has been EVERYTHING this month. 

I will be writing a separate post on this later in the week. I have stuck with going to classes three times each week. Tuesday is a flow class that's sort of an intermediate level. Thursday is a flow class that's more beginner, but the instructor offers lots of modifications to make it harder/easier depending on how I'm feeling. Sunday is a TOUGH flow class that I have a love/hate relationship with. I have to check my ego at the door. But I'm learning a lot and gaining many benefits from regular practice.

Since we're getting closer to the end of my $40 unlimited membership for this month, I'm trying to figure out what I'll continue. The Tuesday flow class is just $8, so I think that's the one I'll keep going to. The other ones are $12, and I'm considering just for February going to the Sunday class, making my total for each week $20. That feels like a splurge on myself, but in March . . . track season begins and it'll be mostly YouTube for several months.

3 // The SUN!

This winter has been cold, but it's been much sunnier than other years. This has had an impact on my mood. Or maybe the sun plus the yoga is really kicking the butt of that seasonal blah I get. Whatever the case is, I haven't felt the need to use my light therapy box. Feels good. Though, as I write this . . . we're getting tons of rain and it's all grey.

4 // The flu has me all paranoid. 

It's a long story, but I get my kids all vaccinations. No qualms about it. The flu shot always has me scratching my head. I ended up getting it this year in November. I had made appointments for the girls in October, but they each were on antibiotics when it was time to go. So, we waited till November. Everyone in our house was basically sick the entire month of November, so we had to reschedule again.

When the December appointment rolled around, a bunch of people in my life -- friends, family, news outlets, etc. -- including the nurse at my pediatrician office had me convinced the shot basically wasn't effective at all. It was dumb, but I decided to just say -- meh with it. Now I feel like the flu is everywhere and I've been incredibly irresponsible. I'm getting their flu shots tomorrow (late, I know -- won't kick in for two weeks and STILL may not ward off the worst of the flu) and in the meantime am looking for ways to boost immunity. I'm thinking elderberry syrup with zinc and vitamin C.

Any suggestions, especially for the toddler?

5 // What are your guilty pleasures?

Mine are:

American cheese pierogies
Riverdale
Any time alone in the bathroom, whether bathing or using the toilet
Not wearing a bra. Ever.
Almond butter mixed with coconut oil, cocoa powder, and some sugar
Watching YouTube of mid to late 20-something French models for beauty tips
Online shopping (but gotta kick that habit)
Facebook groups for frugality, non-consumerism, etc. (yes, I'm a complex piece of work)
Internet "stalking" random people just for fun
Browsing my phone in the shower because I won't be interrupted, see above

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Ode to Baby Gates

When you scroll through all those carefully curated images on perfect-mommy Instagram feeds, what is one thing you rarely see? BABY GATES. Right? I mean, I would love to have my toddler free-ranging it in the house. And I tried. Oh, I tried.

But this baby gate has been a total game-changer.

If you're in the market, it's the Evenflo Soft + Wide Gate ($40 and PRIME).

Wide is the part that matters most.

In brief: Eloise had taken to climbing up the dining room table, like c.o.n.s.t.a.n.t.l.y. When I was trying to cook. When I was trying to clean. Just, always. I had trouble finding a gate for the nearly 60 inches of gap between the kitchen and dining room. I kept beating myself up thinking that somehow I needed to simply figure out how to get her to stop . . . or that magically she would learn the proper way to keep herself safe with enough trial and error.

Nope.

She fell hard the other day, and I said to hell with it. To hell with aesthetics. To hell with being one of those mystical earth mamas who doesn't cage in her kids. The gate showed up the next day in the mail (super fast!) . . . and I installed it immediately. I actually don't mind at all how it looks. We intend to keep it up most of the time, but it folds away very easily for storage and even travel.

Here's the way our downstairs is now gated off.


Not exactly pretty. Not exactly glamorous. But I can now turn my back for three whole seconds without having to worry (too much). The two gates work together to keep Eloise off the dining table AND the stairs. It's amazing. I think the only thing I love more is our toilet lock. Because, well, I was finding EVERYTHING tossed in the toilet. That's not something we dealt with when Ada was a toddler because we only had one upstairs bathroom.

I have a toy organization post planned for next week. Get ready for it! In the meantime, happy weekend! I think the stomach bug has arrived in our household. Should be an interesting few days.

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How TTC is Going . . . Or Not

Here's an update on how trying to conceive baby number three is going. I am open about this process not to over-share, but because I find it helpful and interesting to keep up with others who are TTC. When you Google "how long does it take to get pregnant?" so much of what you'll find is discouraging if you don't see a positive test after a month or two. Anyway, if you don't like this sort of content, feel free to skip.

We're half a year deep into TTC baby number three. I didn't initially count the first two months of trying because we weren't using baby aspirin or progesterone. But we were using OPKs and timing things on point (trying in the five day period before/including ovulation). My luteal phase was only 10 days, so I figured we didn't have much chance. Yet, with timing things around ovulation . . . I suppose that was actively trying with a touch of denial to preserve my sanity.

Since then, I've continued using OPKs and have added temperature charting . . . along with baby aspirin, progesterone, and OPKs. Very good timing. It has to be this way to use the progesterone, it's not really a choice or me obsessing. I start three days after ovulation. Anyway, I had an extremely faint positive show up on two different brands of tests in September (I've learned to just let this roll. I don't consider it anything) . . . but I didn't make it to a blood test, as bleeding started right on target.

I'm not pregnant.

Of course, I know how long it can take and how even a positive test is no guarantee. But I'd be lying if I thought maybe this time I'd cheat the system somehow. After all, the very month I was put on progesterone with trying to conceive Eloise, we were successful. Not only that, but I had gotten pregnant two months in a row. Four times total in the span of a year. Timing is certainly not our issue, though I know that even with perfection the average is only a 20 percent chance or so to get a positive test in any given cycle. But then I see "stats" where some 80 percent of couples get pregnant within 6 months.

My midwife only gave me 4 months of progesterone and said I should see a doctor if it doesn't happen by the time the prescription is up. I actually have enough to eeeek by with one more month of trying, but I may schedule a workup anyway. I am nearing age 35. Hormone levels and other things can change between pregnancies. We're using tools to pinpoint ovulation. It doesn't hurt to check things out before we keep going.

That said, I won't be doing anything medical to enhance my fertility. Progesterone is where we'll end intervention (unless I need medication for thyroid or something). As I have said in the past, a third child would be wonderful . . . but we're trying not to go to crazy about it. Not that I think Clomid or other things are crazy by any means (please understand, there's no judgement here! I know the risk isn't super-high, but I cannot handle even a minute possibility of multiples). I just can't go through the level of mental anguish this time around as I did last. If it isn't happening, I'm going to try my best to just be at peace.

And even with all this tracking and such, I am in a good state of mind. Just frustrated. But calm. I know everyone says to calm down and it will happen. That's the last thing I wanted to hear when we were TTC for Eloise. Guess what? I ended up getting pregnant with her when I felt on the brink of insanity. In my experience, it's all a crap-shoot.

All this to say that I'm now wallowing. Six months really isn't that long in TTC-land, though my mind does nag at me because I know when I'm ovulating, I'm confirming ovulation, we're timing perfectly, and my luteal phase is a healthy 14 days thanks to the progesterone. Still, I'm continuing my life as normal. I'm even getting into such a good groove with yoga that I'm kinda sorta OK with not being pregnant (so I can keep going to my "harder" class).

It's just this quiet, dizzying world a lot of us find ourselves in. Whether you've been trying six months or many more. It's a cycle of excitement/hope/anticipation followed by disappointment/uncertainty. On repeat. I am incredibly grateful for my girls and continue to thank the universe every chance I get for the blessing of motherhood. It's not lost on me. This is just one part of my life right now. I wish it were easier -- for everyone. But that's not reality. If you're in a similar position, join me in breathing and gathering up more hope for the next cycle.

RELATED

Weirdest TTC Tricks I've Learned
What is Actively Trying?
All Things Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
All Things TTC
Eloise's Birth Story

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Airing My Dirty Laundry

My friend Taylor said something that really resonated with me last week. It was something to the effect of "organization doesn't need to be pretty" -- and she's absolutely right. I think I've been caught up in the past when I'd be trying to clean. Maybe all the stuff was put away, but the room I was left with wasn't exactly Pinterest-worthy. Despite the accomplishment of organizing, I was left with a sense of failure. And feeling negative about the experience didn't exactly help with motivation to keep it clean.

So, today I'm airing my dirty laundry, so to speak. Because there's actually no dirty laundry on my floors upstairs. After my marathon cleaning sessions this weekend, my ENTIRE upstairs is organized and tidy. Better yet, MOST closets and drawers are organized as well. The exception is that 4th bedroom closet. We don't have much basement storage, we have no attic storage, and the garage is tight this time of year. This is our only space to keep extras. I'm hoping that will change sometime soon.

So, my rooms aren't all painted or decorated, but I'm proud of this progress.

Eloise even has her own tiny capsule wardrobe!


I think this is the first time in years I would have photographed every room in the upstairs at the same time. They have never all been clean at once. Now, I want to organize that 4th bedroom closet better than it is now and relocate the last of the boxes in that room. But this is HUGE progress. And, no. I don't think these rooms look great. Maybe Ada's. Poor Eloise deserves a painted room already. She's 19 months old!

One thing at a time. More soon!

Related:

Minimalist Kid's Room Tour
Eliminating the Maybe
7 Clutter Categories
Cleaning Week Snapshots
Wannabe Minimalists

Read more...

Decluttering My Life // 2018 Cleanout

After writing up my What's in My Makeup Bag post, I realized my microblogs have gotten a bit lengthy. I want to stick with writing, so this week I need to change things up a bit. Today I'm going to write up a short and sweet list of accomplishments I made toward my organization/cleaning/minimalism goals. There's more to just cleaning -- it's changing the whole cycle of buying and identifying needs vs. wants. But that's a post for another day.

To recap: Here's my action plan for getting rid of our clutter.

TOYS

• Cleared out most toys from our first floor living room
• Purged half the toys from the basement playroom 
• Leaned out more toys from the bedrooms
• In total: Have donated or packed away a total of 2.5 large bins of toys

CLOTHING

• Collected two garbage bags of clothing to donate
• Identified some items to sell on my Poshmark store
• Separated out spring from winter clothing to have less stuff out
• Packed away one large bin of clothing as a result -- less laundry!
• Made a capsule wardrobe for myself of 25 items for winter
• I didn't yet have Stephen go through his clothing -- doesn't have as much as I thought

KITCHEN

• Went through all drawers and cupboards
• Got rid of one large box of items, including glass jars with no lids, broken stirring spoons, etc.
• Relocated a bunch of stuff that had no business being in the kitchen (toys, personal care items, etc.)
• Still have more to do . . . 

HOARDERS ROOM (a.k.a. 4th bedroom)

• I could barely open the door to this room. No joke!
• Found THREE bags of paper and other trash (broken things, not pizza boxes) in this room
• Found a bin of maybe items that we'll hold onto for a month or so before donating
• Have almost cleared the whole room out, except the closet -- which is amazing!

BATHROOM CLOSET

• Go rid of near-empty bottles of product by combining with newer bottles
• Organized our bulk items (soaps, shampoos, etc.) into bins for easy grabbing
• Got rid of a bag of trash in this area
• Found tons of used water glasses and dishes in the closet for some reason

All and all, these activities didn't take a single hour as I had hoped they would. It was more like on-and-off for two days. I'd say maybe five to six hours total. Yikes. But it was necessary. AND I'M STILL NOT DONE! I am hoping to give you some visuals in the coming days. I'll probably devote this entire week of blogging to organizing and minimalist stuff. 

Stay tuned . . . and check out more of this month's micro-posts.

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What's In My Makeup "Bag"

I love peeking into the lives of others and seeing what they use for their everyday routines. As you know, I keep all my makeup in my rotating organizer. I do use most everything I have, but if I had to pick my 10 MVPs, for travel or something (what's that, again?), here's what I'd choose.

Note: I've provided the Amazon links here for reference. Some of them are good deals, but others are much cheaper at Target or Ulta.

// Neutrogena Hydro Boost Tint -- This foundation feels like a second skin. I haven't had any breakouts, and I think it has the perfect amount of coverage. A bit more than a sheer but not at all heavy like fuller-coverage varieties. #4 Nude works best for my skin tone.

// Soap + Glory Hocus Focus -- This overall illuminator is a game-changer for me. I mix it about half and half with my foundation, and it seriously mutes all my flaws, almost like an Instagram filter. A little goes a long way.

// Urban Decay Naked Skin Concealer -- I'll occasionally use this liquid concealer instead of foundation, if I want a more natural look. It's light diffusing, complete coverage, and super light-weight. I use the color medium-light.

// Neutrogena Hydro Boost Concealer -- Again, this product is infused with hydrating hyaluronic acid and it goes on really smooth. It's also cost-friendly. Light works best for my complexion.

// NYX Eyebrow Pencils -- I have mentioned before that I have a touch of trichotillomania, where I rub and pull at my eyebrows. I have lots of weird bald patches as a result. I don't LOVE drawing in my eyebrows, especially so dark, but I feel self-conscious without doing so. Anyway, I've used lots of expensive pencils . . . but with how much I use, I've been loving NYX. I use all different ones in their collection and usually a blend medium and dark browns.

// Soap + Glory Sexy Mother Pucker -- My sister-in-law introduced me to this lip gloss. I love it. It's plumping, so there is a slight tingling, which is weird. But the SMELL! My absolute favorite color is Rose + Shine (very natural and light). If I'm going out, I'll use Plumsup for a bit darker color. Very sheer and shiny.

// Burt's Bees Peppermint Balm -- But my go-to for lips is simply the basic balm by Burt's Bees. I've been using it literally forever. It works far better than any other brand at keeping my lips soft and hydrated.

// NYX Illuminating Sticks -- I use these creams as blush and highlighter, if I'm feeling fancy. Just a bit of Pinkie Dust on the apples of my cheeks. Then Pearl Pink Lace in the corners of my eyes, cheekbone, etc. In general, I love NYX for trying new colors because it's inexpensive and good quality.

// Benefit They're Real Mascara -- This mascara is good at defining and building lashes. I can't say that it blows my mind, but I am always underwhelmed with mascaras. I would say it's my favorite in a long time. I also like Too Faced Better Than Sex mascara.

// NYX Setting Spray (Dewy Finish) -- I'm new to setting sprays, but I picked this one up a few weeks ago at Target. I like it. It does set my makeup while giving me a more natural finish. It also just feels nice to spray on after application.

I'll share my favorite skincare products next week. I have quite a routine going these days, and my skin is looking amazing (at least for me). It's also nice to have a ritual at night and feel like I'm regularly taking time for self-care.

Have a great weekend! It's nearly 60 degrees here right now and is supposed to plummet to -15 this weekend. What in the world?!

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Cold Turkey

Along with engaging in a regular yoga practice, I have some other hefty goals in the new year. I think many of us want to clean up our act with eating. I go in waves, and January 1st is a good excuse to get back on track -- at least for as long as I can.

So, I cut out packaged foods along with white bread, refined sugar, and other "bad" stuff. In the holiday season, I was enjoying many feasts on takeout pizzas (we have way too many great places close by!) followed by marathon cookie dessert sessions. I was drinking lots of beer and wine, too. Ultimately, I gained a few pounds and -- worse yet -- kept waking up feeling hung-over . . . even when I wasn't drinking.

Oh, and I had no energy. Blah. Not so good when you get up most days at 5AM to work. So, when the ball dropped, I put down my beer-cheese fondue and picked up a tall glass of water. I've been trying to drink between 80 and 100 ounces of water daily ever since, and it's made a tremendous difference in how I feel. I just feel . . . awake. I've totally stopped drinking alcohol as I infuse myself with hydration. This sounds intense, but I had seriously forgotten how to drink water and was using other beverages in its place. I estimate I was maybe only actively taking in 32 ounces a day.

With food, we've been cooking all our meals at home. Saving money, too! Again, I go in phases with all of this -- with my energy and enthusiasm. But I truly know cooking everything from scratch is ideal and not always achievable even with good planning. While I don't eat many packaged foods, random things come into the house (cookies, other treats) . . . so I've banished those for the time being (aside from some organic granola bars from Aldi for Ada's lunches).

I've been cooking out of the How Not to Die Cookbook by Michael Greger. This isn't a sponsored review or anything. I just want to mention it. Full disclosure is that I haven't read the book. I just happened to see the book at Barnes and Noble, leafed through it, and I realized we often have a lot of the ingredients in the recipes. Cauliflower, turmeric, miso paste, beans, greens, mushrooms, oats, etc. The plant-based recipes all use similar ingredients in different ways to make tasty things.

I also like the emphasis on not adding salt to recipes. I had gotten a little heavy-handed with my salt, so it's a good practice to lighten up.

My favorite recipes so far are:

• Summertime oatmeal (pg. 12)
• Cheesy kale crisps (pg. 42)
• Smoky roasted chickpeas (pg. 44)
• Black bean burgers (pg. 88)
• Braised tempeh & bok choy with ginger sauce (pg. 128)
• Mac and "cheese" (pg. 143)

These are just the recipes I've had time to make since getting the book less than two weeks ago. Again, they all make use of similar ingredients and spices, which I love. They're mostly easy and fast, too. I may look at the library to read the How Not to Die book. It's all about certain foods that are scientifically proven to prevent and reverse disease. As a health/medical writer, I truly believe in the power of food to heal our bodies.

It's easier in theory than practice sometimes, though.

Have any of you read this book?

Other books I've been cooking from or plan to soon:

• Sundays at Moosewood Restaurant -- one of my all-time favorites
• At Home in the Whole Food Kitchen
• The Oh She Glows Cookbook
• The Complete Tassajara Cookbook 

Sad to say, but it feels like I've gone into eating pretty much only whole foods cold turkey. Meaning, it's been tough. I should just be eating this way by default. It's been hard, but I think I'm finally turning a corner and really embracing it. I feel so much better. I just need to capture a clear mental picture of this feeling because it's so good. Clear-mind, energy, balance, etc.

What I've learned in the years of my cycles of eating is that bread is my gateway drug of choice. I LOVE BREAD. I love baking bread. But once I start doing too much of it, it's a crazy landslide back into cookies and other desserts. In no time, I'm basically eating M&Ms off the street. I'm continually searching to find better balance.

I'd love to hear what eating goals you have right now. I'm also trying to get in more protein. That's a tricky one for me, but I'm off to blend a protein green smoothie.

Happy Thursday!

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My Large Thrifting Haul + Cost

So, changing gears from clearing all clutter out of my house . . . I had a very productive thrifting trip last weekend. I only visited two stores for these items. The first is the second-hand shop that's a mile from my house. The second is the children's thrift shop across town.

Total amount spent: $86, which -- admittedly -- sounds like a lot. But stay with me!

The mission: Ada's stretching to the max in her size 6 clothing lately, so I am slowly collecting sizes 7/8. Eloise needed some cold weather stuff and a few basics, since Ada and Eloise were born in different seasons.

Anyway, here's what I bought for each family member.

For Ada:

• Matilda Jane Top NWOT ($6)
• Lands End Rocket Sweatshirt ($4)
• Johnnie b Boden boatneck ($1)
• Garnet Hill Kids fleece ($4)
• Johnnie b Boden dress ($4)
• Children's Place jeans ($3)
• Dr. Martens boots ($10)
• Minnetonka moccasins ($5)
• Hanna Andersson dress NWOT -- not pictured ($3)

TOTAL: $40

For Eloise:

• Hanna Andersson fleece ($4)
• Hanna Andersson pants ($1)
• Okie Dokie shirt ($2)
• Unlabeled wool pants ($2)
• Wool polka-dot jacket NWT ($4)
• Saint James boatneck ($2)

TOTAL: $15

Also for Eloise:

• Patagonia lightweight snowsuit/bunting ($14 -- half off, so $7)
• Stonz booties NWT ($14 -- half off, so $7)

TOTAL: $14 (and these will fit next year, too -- and the snowsuit might stretch to age 3)

For Stephen:

L.L. Bean fleece shirt NWOT ($5)

TOTAL: $5

For Ashley:

• Patagonia zip layer ($6)
• Nike Dri-Fit Fleece ($6)

TOTAL: $12

More thrifting fun:

Smart + Thrifty Tips for Buying Second-Hand Clothing
FLAX + Why I Mostly Buy Second-Hand Clothing
Introvert’s Guide to Holding a Yard Sale
Frugal Accomplishments
5 FLAX Outfits // Summer Edition
All my style-related posts

Read more...

Overcome by Clutter: Action Plan

I've written about our efforts to become more minimalist in the past, so I also feel I should share when it's just not working out. Like now. OK. So, we were doing well several years ago, but I noticed the creeping of stuff started after Eloise was born. I think it was a mix of getting an influx of baby items and putting my guard down. It's an excuse, yes, but it's harder to stay on top of things with a baby/toddler around AND sometimes there's stress. And as much as I'd like to say it isn't true, I do still have stress-shopping tendencies.

We're all works in progress, right?

Anyway, as I sit in our basement playroom, I'm a bit disgusted. We have all these beautiful new and old toys strewn about. Many of them aren't getting good use. Instead of appreciating them, I'm incredibly annoyed at the moment. They're a giant source of stress for the adults and kids alike. Stress for me and Stephen because of constant pickup. Stress for the kids because there is so much, they're overwhelmed, hopping from thing to thing.

I woke up wanting to throw everything in the garbage. So, before I do something crazy, I decided to write this post. Thing is, I don't even know where to begin. The main level of our home is relatively tidy most of the time. Not ever when I hop onto Instagram for some reason, so that's a fairly true representation of what annoys me. It's nothing a half hour of picking up can't fix, though. The second level where we sleep? Yikes. It was clean before Christmas. Laundry abounds from all corners now, along with some Christmas items that never found proper places to live. And, of course, the basement is an absolute wreck.

Minimalism is about a lot more than just a clean house, and I think that's one area where we've strayed. Now, I also want to explain that I've always been more of a wannabe minimalist. We, as a family, are getting there. We're slowly arriving at a point where we're accepting the core principles of living with less excess and embracing those things with purpose. Anyone who's done it will tell you it takes time, and there will be back-sliding.

All of this is to say that today I have written up a short to-do list that I'm hoping will help get us back on the right track. And, at least at first, this mostly means clearing some stuff out so I can think. So we can ALL think.

• Donate/get rid of one bag of my own clothing. Re-create a capsule wardrobe for winter. 
• Have Stephen donate/get rid of a bag of his own clothing.
• Weed through Ada's and Eloise's clothing to store away anything that no longer fits them/is damaged/etc. or donate.
• Go through basement toys and pack away/donate at least one box of items that are no longer used or are damaged/missing pieces/etc.
• Reevaluate all toys and books in the living room. This is our most annoying area of clutter where Eloise's just grabs and throws things all over. We may temporarily eliminate toys in this space because it's getting to be too much at the present moment.
• Go through all mail and recycle/trash what isn't needed.
• Weed through kitchen drawers and donate/get rid of random cutlery, cups, appliances, etc. we're either not using or that's broken/missing pieces/etc.
• Identify a better storage area. We don't have many bins of storage, but keeping them in the garage isn't working out.
• Gather up a box of "maybe" miscellaneous things and put them away for a month or so to see if we actually need/want them to stay in our lives.

I'm hoping these activities will only take an hour or so, and I'm also hoping I can update you on my progress next week.

More Minimalism:

Eliminating the Maybe
7 Clutter Categories
Cleaning Week Snapshots
Wannabe Minimalists
Five Things I No Longer Buy

Read more...

Turn, baby, turn . . .

I just paid to renew neverhomemaker.com for yet another year. As I looked back through my records, I couldn't believe how long I've been at this blogging thing. I last wrote about keeping up the momentum. Today I'm taking on a less intense topic -- but I must first share how good it feels to actually keep up my daily pace with writing.

Anyway, in the last year, my generous in-laws have given me many gift cards to Ulta. So many that I sometimes wonder if those cards are a hint or something. Just kidding. (Am I?) While my personal care routine is still pretty simple, I have a lot more products to play around with as a result. And all those products were just tossed into the wild west of a storage cube until recently. I had my main makeup in a small baggie, but the rest -- including cleansers, oils, moisturizers, lip balms, etc. -- roamed free and mostly unused.

Yes. Today I'm not imparting any life-changing wisdom. I'm simply sharing this cool rotating makeup organizer that has seriously upped my personal care game. I love it. And I can now see everything I have and use everything I have.

My mom is who introduced me to it. She has a fancy one from QVC in her bathroom, but I found this one from Amazon for a cool $20. (There are all different kinds if you're looking for a different color or design or adjustability.)

Let me know if you'd like to know what's in this thing. Maybe a morning/evening routine post. In the interest of keeping this post short and sweet, I'll leave that for another day. I will tell you I like NYX cosmetics, Neutrogena Hydro-Boost foundations, and Badger lip balms. As you can see, though, there's a lot more! So, thanks to my in-laws for that. Hint or not, it's nice to feel pampered from time to time.

Check out more of my January daily blogging.

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Keeping the Momentum

As I drove myself to yoga last night in spitting snow and great whooshes of wind, I felt . . . tired. The walk from my car to the studio was a blustery one. We're having wind chills down in the -20 to -30 range today -- damn cold and unpleasant. It was also cloudy, grey, and already getting dark at 4:30. It was one of those times when I just didn't feel like doing what I was doing.

A true motivation slump only four days deep into the new year.

There are times when I wonder if I'm just not a terribly motivated person. I'm surrounded by men and women who are achieving greatness, if I want to get all Grey's Anatomy for a moment. I consider myself quite ordinary. There are people all around me who are doing truly extraordinary things. Things at their jobs. Things with their families. Things within the local community and, yes, even in the world. Heck, they're even doing incredible things at the gym or on the roads (ultra-marathon friends, how do you do it?).

Some of them seem to be doing it all at once, too.

And then there's me.
I feel spent a lot of the time.
I also feel I don't do that terribly much.
Am I lacking in some way?

I kept my foot cautiously hovering over the breaks as I made my way across town on the slop-covered roads. If an old friend of mine can perform an important surgery or diagnose a disease on the daily (many high school and college "friends" are doctors) . . . surely I can muster the courage to go to an hour-long yoga class. Surely.

I did; it felt good.

Where am I going with this?

I suppose it's all relative. The whole of life. What I do today may seem insurmountable to others just as what others do seems absolutely mind-blowing to me. I do think a lot of it boils down to momentum. Once you get going at a certain pace, it's the trick of maintaining it. It's having the endurance to continue on at whatever level you find yourself attaining. I think about my running "career". There are times when I've run fast and long with ease. Other times, it's been a crawl and struggle to . . . lace my shoes. The cycles change with the seasons of my life and my own goals and desires and external forces.

I'm resisting the pull to hibernate right now. In both my body and mind. Writing has felt good. While I do a great deal of writing for my freelance job (I'm in the middle of an article right now . . . but I needed a break), I haven't done much personal writing in years. When I had Writing Chapter Three, I'd regularly share essay-style posts about motherhood. Maybe I'll return to that.

The momentum I kept up back then also encouraged me to seek more opportunities. I'm trying to hop on that train now, as I took the first step in a project I've been planning for years yesterday. More on that when I finally get the time to do more. Whenever that is. You see, we all achieve greatness in our own ways, whether through larger or small victories. I truly believe that.

Anyway, consider this a gentle prod before the weekend to keep at doing whatever you're up to that's bringing you joy or fulfillment. The momentum is the hardest part, but -- yes -- you can do it. Take a walk break if your goal is to run a bit farther. Take a mental break if you're trying to accomplish something a bit more cerebral. And try your best not to compare yourself to others.

Remember, friends: It's all relative.

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