How TTC is Going . . . Or Not

Here's an update on how trying to conceive baby number three is going. I am open about this process not to over-share, but because I find it helpful and interesting to keep up with others who are TTC. When you Google "how long does it take to get pregnant?" so much of what you'll find is discouraging if you don't see a positive test after a month or two. Anyway, if you don't like this sort of content, feel free to skip.

We're half a year deep into TTC baby number three. I didn't initially count the first two months of trying because we weren't using baby aspirin or progesterone. But we were using OPKs and timing things on point (trying in the five day period before/including ovulation). My luteal phase was only 10 days, so I figured we didn't have much chance. Yet, with timing things around ovulation . . . I suppose that was actively trying with a touch of denial to preserve my sanity.

Since then, I've continued using OPKs and have added temperature charting . . . along with baby aspirin, progesterone, and OPKs. Very good timing. It has to be this way to use the progesterone, it's not really a choice or me obsessing. I start three days after ovulation. Anyway, I had an extremely faint positive show up on two different brands of tests in September (I've learned to just let this roll. I don't consider it anything) . . . but I didn't make it to a blood test, as bleeding started right on target.

I'm not pregnant.

Of course, I know how long it can take and how even a positive test is no guarantee. But I'd be lying if I thought maybe this time I'd cheat the system somehow. After all, the very month I was put on progesterone with trying to conceive Eloise, we were successful. Not only that, but I had gotten pregnant two months in a row. Four times total in the span of a year. Timing is certainly not our issue, though I know that even with perfection the average is only a 20 percent chance or so to get a positive test in any given cycle. But then I see "stats" where some 80 percent of couples get pregnant within 6 months.

My midwife only gave me 4 months of progesterone and said I should see a doctor if it doesn't happen by the time the prescription is up. I actually have enough to eeeek by with one more month of trying, but I may schedule a workup anyway. I am nearing age 35. Hormone levels and other things can change between pregnancies. We're using tools to pinpoint ovulation. It doesn't hurt to check things out before we keep going.

That said, I won't be doing anything medical to enhance my fertility. Progesterone is where we'll end intervention (unless I need medication for thyroid or something). As I have said in the past, a third child would be wonderful . . . but we're trying not to go to crazy about it. Not that I think Clomid or other things are crazy by any means (please understand, there's no judgement here! I know the risk isn't super-high, but I cannot handle even a minute possibility of multiples). I just can't go through the level of mental anguish this time around as I did last. If it isn't happening, I'm going to try my best to just be at peace.

And even with all this tracking and such, I am in a good state of mind. Just frustrated. But calm. I know everyone says to calm down and it will happen. That's the last thing I wanted to hear when we were TTC for Eloise. Guess what? I ended up getting pregnant with her when I felt on the brink of insanity. In my experience, it's all a crap-shoot.

All this to say that I'm now wallowing. Six months really isn't that long in TTC-land, though my mind does nag at me because I know when I'm ovulating, I'm confirming ovulation, we're timing perfectly, and my luteal phase is a healthy 14 days thanks to the progesterone. Still, I'm continuing my life as normal. I'm even getting into such a good groove with yoga that I'm kinda sorta OK with not being pregnant (so I can keep going to my "harder" class).

It's just this quiet, dizzying world a lot of us find ourselves in. Whether you've been trying six months or many more. It's a cycle of excitement/hope/anticipation followed by disappointment/uncertainty. On repeat. I am incredibly grateful for my girls and continue to thank the universe every chance I get for the blessing of motherhood. It's not lost on me. This is just one part of my life right now. I wish it were easier -- for everyone. But that's not reality. If you're in a similar position, join me in breathing and gathering up more hope for the next cycle.

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How I Feel About // Essential Oils

This is such a long-overdue post. I've hinted from time to time that I use essential oils in anything from household cleaners to DIY personal care stuff. But I've never gone on record explaining the full extent of my usage. The thing is, I've not one of those crazy hashtag oily moms.

At least not yet.

I started using essential oils when I was in college. I've mentioned many times that I went to Ithaca College, which is in Ithaca, NY. To me, this meant I was living in a total hippy town. And my very first independent persona as a college freshman was, well, a completely granola girl. It's something I have yet to shake all these years later.

You see, I used to have bouts of insomnia and headaches. I blame it on stress my first year of college. On a bad relationship I was in that had me all sorts of crazy. I marched into the local food co-op one afternoon and was looking for anything "natural" that might bring me calm and contentedness. I picked up two things -- a small bottle of Valerian root extract and a small bottle of lavender essential oil.

I'll get into the Valerian another time. But the essential oil was something I fell in love in instantly. I had started my first yoga class that semester, and our teacher actually would rub lavender mixed with jojoba on on necks during the final savasana. So. Incredibly. Relaxing.

I had no idea what I was doing on my own. I sniffed the bottle. I put the plain oil on my wrists and neck (oops -- I never had a reaction, but undiluted oil is usually a no-no). I dripped it onto this rice pillow I kept in my bed. It helped me feel calm.


Fast-forward many, many years but I started using peppermint, lemon, tea tree, and eucalyptus oils in my homemade cleaning supplies. I loved the natural scent and antimicrobial properties it added to the mix. Eventually I even got a diffuser and started unwinding with a few drops of lavender at the end of a hard day. If I felt a cold coming on, I'd do some peppermint mixed to eucalyptus.

And, really, up until today -- that's been the extent of my oil usage. I've seen a gigantic surge in essential oil popularity over the last couple years. I've remained rather skeptical about it all. I mean, can oils really CURE sickness? Can they ward it off? Should we REALLY be slathering our babies in this stuff? My first inclination is to say, uh, no. Be safe rather than sorry. This stuff is potent.

But many friends of mine who I know and respect -- some of them with medical degrees -- swear by the stuff. Am I missing out? Is it all snake oil? Will it kill my cats or injure my children? There are just so many questions. There are not that many iron-clad sources either.

Then there's the whole sourcing issue. I have only Aura Cacia oils in my personal collection. I can buy them at Wegmans. I respect their company, as they claim to be free from fillers and don't advocate ingestion (perhaps the biggest usage I'm skeptical about), and their prices seem reasonable.


I currently have:

• Peppermint
• Lavender 
• Eucalyptus
• Tea Tree
• Lemon
• Frankincense (my new favorite)  
• And my diffuser is from Gurunanda

I hear that other oils from Young Living, doTerra, and Rocky Mountain are better quality -- at least perhaps.

So, how do I feel about essential oils? 

Curious.

As a long-time user, I'm still just on the tip of the iceberg. I'd love to hear from you more experienced oily people what I may be missing out on. Should I dip my toes in deeper? Am I right to be skeptical? What safety do you follow around kids?

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