More Major Parenting Decisions, Explained

You guys really liked when I shared about the reasoning behind some of our most important parenting decisions. So, here's more major decisions and why we've gone the way we've gone. Again -- this is what WE do, not what I think YOU should do. There's no judgement here, so I hope you'll extend the same courtesy to me and my family.

I gave birth without pain medication three times.

But I elected to induce my last baby, so I'm definitely not sharing this as a holier-than-thou kind of thing. It's simply a fact. And I didn't do it out of the purest of intentions either. It was more selfish than anything else. I'm scared of needles and definitely scared of a needle in my spine. I don't like the idea of being numb. It actually freaks me out just thinking about it. I would also say that -- on the whole -- my labors were pretty short. I was pumped full of pitocin the last two times, making the contractions much more intense, but I would rather deal with that over and over and over again than get a needle in my spine.

Maybe that's weird, but knowing what to expect now . . . when the pain got so bad that I felt like I couldn't take it anymore, that typically meant it was almost over (except with Ada. Then it meant I had two more hours until she was out!)

We don't push tons of extracurriculars

I shared in my last post that we're pretty hands-off when it comes to academics in our house. The same goes for extracurricular activities. I have friends and acquaintances who put their kids in EVERYTHING. And I mean EVERYTHING. They're driving here, there, and everywhere. I both admire and pity them. Basically, I was involved in things as a child -- but not as a young child. My rule is one big activity at a time. If there are other things, they have to fit into the day and be really cheap.

Right now this means that Ada takes a gymnastics class on Saturday mornings. She's also in a school choir that is very inexpensive ($40 for 8 weeks) and meets at the school at the end of the school day. I decided instead of paying money for piano lessons that I'd try teaching her the fundamentals (and it's going well -- we just do it whenever we have a spare 20 minutes). Otherwise, we might do one-off classes . . . but generally, we are living the "slow life" in this respect.

I do combination feeding

Eden gets two bottles of formula each day, so I am no longer exclusively breastfeeding. We are combination feeding, and it's going great. When I shared my struggles with breastfeeding (I have a great supply . . . but mentally, I don't like being tethered to my baby 24/7), I got many well-meaning comments about how I should pump instead of offering formula. I hate pumping more than I hate breastfeeding.

I've finally learned by my second, but especially by my third baby that formula isn't some fluid sent to earth from Satan. In fact, Eden is doing great, and I love giving her bottles. Especially now that she's in the super distracted nursing phase -- with a bottle, she's all business.

We vaccinate

My kids get all their vaccinations on the standard schedule -- no questions. I haven't even done any research in this area because I trust my doctor and my life experience. For example, when Ada was in the pediatric intensive care unit, there was a boy in the next room dying of a preventable disease because he didn't get vaccinations. It was a huge eye-opener, and something that many anti-vax people don't actually see.

I don't love babywearing

OK. That's not entirely true. I do love it when we go out for the rare day. The snuggles can be amazing. But for me, babywearing isn't a way of life. I don't lust over Tula prints or tie fancy wraps (because I'm terrible at it -- I've tried!). I see women conquering the world wearing their babies, and I'm partially jealous. But I also love putting my baby to sleep in her nursery for her naps. So much as I have tried, I cannot get comfortable just wearing my kid all day during all activities. It's claustrophobic for me. I'd rather just wait to do what I need to do until I can do it quickly on my own.

This is one area where I feel like I WISH I was a different person, a different mom, but I'm just not into most attachment parenting things (and before I became a mom -- I was going to be THE attachment parent).

I don't do essential oils on my kids

Inevitably I run across EO conversations each and every day, especially in parenting groups. Jimmy has an ear infection? Try this essential oil in his ear! Sally has a chest cold? Diffuse this essential oil to clear her breathing! I know these people are trying to do what is best for their kids, but I feel like there's a lot of misinformation out there (on both sides) related to EOs. The safety for children hasn't been demonstrated in research enough for me to want to slather it onto my kids. I save essential oils for personal sniffing and for cleaning supplies. Maybe I'm ignorant, but I'm OK with that.

Want more parenting talk? Check out these posts:

My parenting strengths and weaknesses
My major parenting decisions, explained
Thoughts on picky toddler eating
Instant gratification + parenting
3 years staying home with my kids // thoughts

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How I Feel About // Essential Oils

This is such a long-overdue post. I've hinted from time to time that I use essential oils in anything from household cleaners to DIY personal care stuff. But I've never gone on record explaining the full extent of my usage. The thing is, I've not one of those crazy hashtag oily moms.

At least not yet.

I started using essential oils when I was in college. I've mentioned many times that I went to Ithaca College, which is in Ithaca, NY. To me, this meant I was living in a total hippy town. And my very first independent persona as a college freshman was, well, a completely granola girl. It's something I have yet to shake all these years later.

You see, I used to have bouts of insomnia and headaches. I blame it on stress my first year of college. On a bad relationship I was in that had me all sorts of crazy. I marched into the local food co-op one afternoon and was looking for anything "natural" that might bring me calm and contentedness. I picked up two things -- a small bottle of Valerian root extract and a small bottle of lavender essential oil.

I'll get into the Valerian another time. But the essential oil was something I fell in love in instantly. I had started my first yoga class that semester, and our teacher actually would rub lavender mixed with jojoba on on necks during the final savasana. So. Incredibly. Relaxing.

I had no idea what I was doing on my own. I sniffed the bottle. I put the plain oil on my wrists and neck (oops -- I never had a reaction, but undiluted oil is usually a no-no). I dripped it onto this rice pillow I kept in my bed. It helped me feel calm.


Fast-forward many, many years but I started using peppermint, lemon, tea tree, and eucalyptus oils in my homemade cleaning supplies. I loved the natural scent and antimicrobial properties it added to the mix. Eventually I even got a diffuser and started unwinding with a few drops of lavender at the end of a hard day. If I felt a cold coming on, I'd do some peppermint mixed to eucalyptus.

And, really, up until today -- that's been the extent of my oil usage. I've seen a gigantic surge in essential oil popularity over the last couple years. I've remained rather skeptical about it all. I mean, can oils really CURE sickness? Can they ward it off? Should we REALLY be slathering our babies in this stuff? My first inclination is to say, uh, no. Be safe rather than sorry. This stuff is potent.

But many friends of mine who I know and respect -- some of them with medical degrees -- swear by the stuff. Am I missing out? Is it all snake oil? Will it kill my cats or injure my children? There are just so many questions. There are not that many iron-clad sources either.

Then there's the whole sourcing issue. I have only Aura Cacia oils in my personal collection. I can buy them at Wegmans. I respect their company, as they claim to be free from fillers and don't advocate ingestion (perhaps the biggest usage I'm skeptical about), and their prices seem reasonable.


I currently have:

• Peppermint
• Lavender 
• Eucalyptus
• Tea Tree
• Lemon
• Frankincense (my new favorite)  
• And my diffuser is from Gurunanda

I hear that other oils from Young Living, doTerra, and Rocky Mountain are better quality -- at least perhaps.

So, how do I feel about essential oils? 

Curious.

As a long-time user, I'm still just on the tip of the iceberg. I'd love to hear from you more experienced oily people what I may be missing out on. Should I dip my toes in deeper? Am I right to be skeptical? What safety do you follow around kids?

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Green in 15: Dishwasher Tabs

It's been a while since I did a Green in 15 post. If you're new to this series, so far I've covered how to revamp your cleaning with natural supplies and all the details about our no more paper towels system.

I've been making our own dishwasher detergent for quite a while now. We keep it in powder form in a small jar near the dishwasher. We fill the rinse dispenser with vinegar and occasionally add essential oils for extra punch. The thing is, even with my airtight container, the mixture gets clumpier than I'd like. Plus, I eventually decided we needed to change our formula to help with water stains from our hard water.

So, I searched around on Pinterest and found basically 10,000 slight variations on this recipe. The epsom salt helps with hard water while the addition of vinegar and essential oils help bind everything together and get dishes smelling great.

DIY DISHWASHER TABS

What you'll need . . .

• 2 cups washing soda (or baking soda)
• 2 cups borax
• 1/2 cup epsom salts (or kosher salt)
• 1/2 cup white vinegar 
• 20 drops lemon essential oil
• 2 ice cube trays
• Airtight container for storage

Method . . . 

1. Simply mix together all the dry ingredients and then add the wet. It will start clumping on its own -- just make sure it's well incorporated.
2. Then press mixture into your ice cube trays and packed as it will go.
3. Let dry 24 hours (I found that overnight was long enough for me) before popping out of the molds.
4. Store in airtight container.

To use:

Put one tab in your machine's slot. Pour 1/4 to 1/2 vinegar in the bottom of the machine to act as an extra rise aid (again -- we have really hard water, I just do this anyway). And run the machine as usual. These tabs work well even on my machine's eco-setting that doesn't use super hot water or drying.

// RELATED

Green in 15: No More Paper Towels
Green in 15: Revamping Your Cleaning
DIY Natural Lotion Cubes
Powerful DIY Laundry Detergent
Cleaning with Vinegar
5 Green Cleaners That Work
5-Minute Homemade Deodorant
8 Ways We've Eliminated Plastics
Cleaning Produce The Natural Way
Chemical-Free Clean With Castile Soap

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Homesteading: Natural Vapor Rub

You may have noticed that I started writing about essential oils much more frequently in recent months. They’re something that’s always sort of been in my arsenal of home stuff, but the way I use them has broadened much beyond simple defusing. Now, I haven’t gotten into consuming essential oils or learning the specific combinations for medicinal purposes, but I’m slowly educating myself.

Like anything that’s slanted toward the natural -- I’d rather try home remedies and comforts than the store-purchased alternative. It’s also pretty cool when I discover something that actually soothes me. Empowering, I guess. (Note: I gladly take the Z-pack when I get mega-sick. Thank you, modern medicine!)

Though, I’m pretty sure Veggie Pho cures all!

So, along with slowly learning to make my own baking soda deodorant and soft skin lotion cubes, I’ve been venturing deeper into other DIY skincare territory. This time, of a more medicinal nature. I’m a huge fan of vapor rubs for cough and cold. I figured -- like everything else -- this was the kind of thing I could whip up in my own kitchen. And I was right.

There are lots of recipes on the web. Here are just a few.

• Live Simply’s Homemade Vapor Rub
• Whole New Mom’s Chest Decongestant Rub
• Wellness Mama’s Natural Vapor Rub
• Everyday Root’s Vapor Rub

Of all recipes, I favor the simple beeswax with oil and essential oil combination. I know a popular cure-all blend is Thieves, which was apparently used by these French guys who robbed people during the Plague. At least that sounds mysterious and probably moves oil. Regardless, it’s hailed for fighting germs and helping with chest congestion, etc. The major oils in it are cloves, rosemary, eucalyptus, lemon, cinnamon -- if you’d like to make your own to use in place of the oils in my recipe, go ahead!

I decided to go with two that I already own -- eucalyptus and peppermint -- because they are the stars of my favorite Badger Balm (Breathe Easy). And what’s awesome is that the balm this recipe makes is almost identical in texture and scent, just for a fraction of the price.



DIY VAPOR RUB
Use the smaller essential oil amounts for a baby + kid-strength variety.

What you’ll need . . .

• 1/2 cup carrier oil (I used olive oil -- you can also use coconut, almond, etc.)
• 1/4 cup chopped beeswax 
• 10-20 drops peppermint essential oil
• 10-20 drops eucalyptus essential oil

Method . . .

1. Combine your carrier oil and beeswax in a small, heat-safe bowl. Heat a small pot of hot water on the stovetop and then place your bowl inside to let everything melt together. Mix.
2. Then take off heat and add your essential oils. Mix.
3. Pour into a glass container for storage and place in the fridge to harden quickly. You don’t need to store it in there, though. I was just impatient and wanted it to quickly firm up.

I rub this stuff on my chest when I have coughs. I let it linger on my throat when it’s sore. I slather it under my nose when it’s stuffy. I even do that trick of putting it on Ada’s feet when she’s under the weather. At very least, it’s comforting and does provide at least some relief, in my humble opinion and experience.

Have you ever made a balm like this one? 

What’s your favorite combination of ingredients? 

Whenever it comes to homemade stuff, I like to stick to as few ingredients as possible. It keeps the cost down and keeps it simple + easy to remember. I’m also trying to learn more about the use of essential oils during pregnancy. Though I’m not pregnant yet, most of the bottles of oils I have say not to use (or to consult with a physician) if you’re pregnant. Do any of you know more on that topic?

And speaking of homesteading stuff, I also mixed together another 5 gallons of DIY Laundry Detergent today! Now that we’ve moved, it’s working so much better with our new water (it’s a bit harder -- so, go figure!). Instead of the ratio of 1/2 cup borax to 1 cup washing soda, I did 1:1, so I’ll be sure to let you know if it improves or hinders the power.

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Homesteading: Cleaning With Vinegar

I just stocked up on yet another gigantic container of incredibly inexpensive, non-toxic white vinegar. We use vinegar mostly for cooking and cleaning purposes in our home. It's a simple solution made up of mostly acetic acid (produced by fermented grain) and water.

// GENERAL USES

#1: All-Purpose Cleaner -- Just fill up half a spray bottle with vinegar and the rest with water and maybe a few essential oil drops. Give a good shake and use for cleaning countertops, tabletops, and -- really -- anywhere else.

#2: Window Cleaner -- I add a bit of alcohol to the all-purpose mix (a few tablespoons works -- I make a smaller spray bottle of it for this purpose) and that helps windows stay streak-free!

#3: Dish Rinse -- I mentioned in our 5 Green Cleaners That Actually Work post that we make our own dishwasher detergent. We fill our rinse basin with vinegar mixed with essential oils. Works like a charm.

#4: Deodorizer -- Instead of spritzing air freshener around, we rely on vinegar to take tough odors out of our spaces. You can leave a cup of vinegar in a room overnight for tough odors or even spritz on carpet or other gross smells. The initial vinegar smell does go away! (And here are more ways to deodorize with vinegar.)

#5: Laundry Boost -- I often add 1/2 cup of vinegar to our laundry loads. It helps preserve colors, works as a fabric softener, helps rinse detergent clean, and even  lessens static cling!

#6: Drain De-Clogger -- If I notice a slow drain, I combine 1 cup of baking soda with 2 cups boiling water plus 1 cup vinegar. You'll get some bubbling action that might encourage those clogs to stay clear.

#7: Pots + Pans Cleaner -- We have a few stainless steel pots and pans, and they're always attracting burn marks and grime. I'll do a separate post on this one, but I put around 1 cup of vinegar with a couple tablespoons of baking soda and additional water in the pan and bring to a boil. Then I wipe it out with a cloth!

#8: Microwave Cleaner -- We pulled our microwave back out again now that we have space. And cleaning it is easy! I put 1 cup of water plus about 1/4 cup of vinegar inside and heat for around 5 minutes on high. Then I just wipe out with a cloth.

#9: Disinfect Cutting Board -- This is a biggie! Instead of using my all-purpose cleaner on our cutting boards, I use full strength vinegar to disinfect after each use. A little splash goes a long way.

#10: Sticker Stopper -- Have a sticker stuck on your floor or someplace else? Soak the thing with vinegar for 15 minutes and then remove with your nail, a coin or credit card.

#11: Bathtub Cleaner, Etc. -- I also use full-strength vinegar in our bathroom for most cleaning (tub, tiles, shower surround, sink. For tough jobs, I combine with our natural scouring scrub.

#12: Freshen Clothes -- I wrote an article titled You're Washing Your Clothes Too Often! (What To Do Instead), and ever since -- I've been going longer between loads. If I've only gently worn something, I sometimes spritz it with a mixture of 1 part vinegar, 3 parts water and essential oils of my choosing. It acts like a fabric softener. Again, the initial vinegar smell dissipates.

#13: Veggie Wash -- If you don't like the Castile Soap Method for cleaning fruits and vegetables, you can make an easy spray wash using around 3 parts water, 1 part vinegar (hmm, sounds a lot like the dilution above -- score for multi-purpose!)

#14: Cat Deterrent -- I'm not 100% sure this works yet, but we've started using a little vinegar spritz as a deterrent for our cats to stay off our leather couch and dining room table. I hear it also works outdoors in gardens, etc. Here's where I found this trick.

#15: Ant Deterrent -- I discovered this trick when I was researching an article for Wise Bread. Basically, if you see a trail of ants entering your home, spritz the path with a 50/50 mix of vinegar and water to erase their scent trails.

// TOOLS

You can pick up a big jug of distilled white vinegar at your grocery or hardware store. I actually found our cheapest bet at Lowe's the other day -- and it was specifically a cleaning grade kind. Otherwise, you might notice a lot of spritzing and spraying.

3-pack of 24-ounce Sprayers -- This pack is helpful if you want to have a couple different dilutions at your disposal. For example, you could make one up of the all-purpose cleaner, the laundry/veggie wash in another, and window cleaner. Just label clearly so no mix-ups!

Glass Spray Bottle -- If you'd prefer to go the glass route, this bottle looks like a great buy. It has two different spray settings (mist or stream).

Essential Oils -- Pretty much any essential oil will go well with vinegar. Yeah, the vinegar adds another note to the scent. I like using lavender, peppermint, and eucalyptus. I use lots of essential oils in cleaning to enhance the antimicrobial properties and add pleasing scents, and it only take a few drops!

What's the craziest way you use vinegar in home cleaning?

// RELATED

DIY Natural Lotion Cubes
Powerful DIY Laundry Detergent
5 Green Cleaners That Work
5-Minute Homemade Deodorant
8 Ways We've Eliminated Plastics
Cleaning Produce The Natural Way
Chemical-Free Clean With Castile Soap

Like what you just read? You can subscribe to the feed of these posts or follow us on Twitter or Facebook to be the first to know what the (never home)makers are up to. And we’ll love you forever!

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5-Minute Homemade Deodorant + Review

Over the last several years, I've tried a number of natural deodorants from rolls to sticks to powders and beyond. I decided to go the natural route when I was nursing Ada. Something about having her so close to all the chemicals and scents didn't sit well with me. And after doing a little research, I decided that I didn't want to rub that stuff into my skin anymore either.

I've had OK-ish results with the products I've tried, though some of the sticks actually burned my armpits. No joke. A rash with peeling and burning, which I would have never expected from a natural product. Of all of them, I've had the best success with Lush's powders, including The Greench and The Guv'ner.

I ran out of powder recently + thought: What about making my own? Well, the following "recipe" takes less than 5 minutes to make + uses ingredients you likely already have in your pantry. It also works pretty well, just see my review below!

HOMEMADE COOLING DEODORANT
The essential oils keep your pits smelling fresh + feeling cool.

You need . . . 

• 4 tablespoons coconut oil, melted
• 2 to 3 tablespoons arrowroot powder*
• 2 to 3 tablespoons baking soda
• 10 drops peppermint essential oil
• 5 drops eucalyptus essential oil

Instructions . . .

1. Combine the arrowroot powder and baking soda in a small bowl. If your skin is especially sensitive, consider using only 2 tablespoons of the arrowroot powder and baking soda.
2. Pour in the melted coconut oil and mix until well combined + no lumps.
3. Drop in your essential oils and keep stirring. Then pour into a glass container and store in your refrigerator.
4. To use: Remove from the fridge and break away a little piece. Rub into your armpit and return container to the fridge.

// REVIEW

The recipe above is similar to most all the natural deodorant recipes you will find on the web. The only downfall in my opinion is that you need to keep it in the fridge so it stays firm. I did come across this variation using beeswax that is basically the same, but is stabilized and can stand on your shelf without melting. It's not THAT big a deal to me, and keeping it in the fridge increases its cooling effect.

Now, I'm not going to lie. This deodorant doesn't keep your armpits 100% completely fresh all day long on the hottest days of the year. But it DOES work as well -- if not better -- than the natural products I've bought at the store. No joke -- and especially better than the stick brands I've purchased, as it doesn't irritate my armpits (no burns) and costs way, way less.

I recommend applying it 3 to 4 times a day for the best results. The asterisk next to arrowroot powder above means you can also use cornstarch if you wish. I've read that some people experience yeast infections using cornstarch while others do not -- just be aware of that possibility. My choice to use peppermint extract is my favorite part of the whole thing because it feels -- well -- fantastic.

After a couple weeks of using this deodorant, my armpits are soft, I haven't had any bad skin reactions, and I have a ton of the jar still left over. So, I'd estimate the cost of maybe 2 to 3 months of deodorant at $1 (if that much)! So, it's at least worth a try, especially considering you may have most of these ingredients on hand.

Have you tried natural deodorant -- whether homemade or store-bought? What's your experience? Or what's your favorite recipe? And don't forget to check out all the ways we use castile soap for our home + body cleaning!

Like what you just read? Browse more of our posts + recipes on Pinterest. You can subscribe to the feed of these posts or follow us on Twitter or Facebook to be the first to know what the (never home)makers are up to. And we’ll love you forever!

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