5 Goals for Friday

If you read Writing Chapter Three, you got an inside view of my messy life yesterday. When I started off of this New Leaf plan, I was mostly focusing on how my eating was making me feel. But I knew -- and many of you knew -- there was much more going on.

Honestly, I don't feel depressed or even frenzied, despite how I may sound at times. I just feel intensely disorganized and confused. Like, I have all of this stuff I need to do/clean/make/finish, and I just don't know where to start. It can be paralyzing at times.

All of these goals I wrote for myself are basic. They are the sorts of things everyone writes. Not like I need to be groundbreaking in this quest, but I suppose I thought my struggles were somehow unique to me and my situation. There's comfort in the universality, though.

#: Organize, clean, and get back into a system. I think one of the easiest things I can do to feel better is clean my entire house. There has always, I mean ALWAYS been at least one room of utter destruction. Always. It hangs over my head literally and figuratively.

As of late, it's leaked into the rest of the house. OK. My car, too. I need to take this weekend to get back to a clean slate. Once I'm there, I can start to implement some organization strategies, like having a chore calendar. I sincerely think clearing out the clutter will help calm my mind.

Stephen and I have also decided that we might treat ourselves to a professional cleaning service. Not monthly -- but a one-time deal to, again, start fresh.


#: Appreciate who I am. What I have. Stop wanting more or different. One of my hobbies is browsing real estate. I nitpick everything about our house. It's too small. The kitchen isn't functional. We have but one bathroom. Etc. Same thing goes pretty much everything else I could want -- everything -- and we all have lots of wants, don't we?

Thanksgiving is this month, so I'm trying to take time to remember what I'm grateful for. I'm going to write these things our versus just thinking about them, too. Something about the act of writing is more purposeful to me.


#: Stop comparing myself to others. I didn't do too much of this until I became a mom. No matter how hard I try not to or try to convince myself that I don't, I so very much DO compare myself to others. Whether I'm the one "winning" some imaginary contest or I'm "losing".

What a terrible way to live. In an imaginary contest. Jeez.

It started during pregnancy with weight gain or exercise level. Then birth stories. Then with weight loss after birth. The comparison can extend to pretty much everything. Even my parenting style or how much I get out of the house each week.

I feel like it will be almost impossible to stop, but I am hopeful that trying will at least help. I think taking time to think of what I'm grateful for versus what I do have or don't do/etc. will be helpful in this regard. 


#: Ask for help. It's been a year, and I don't think I've been away from Ada for more than 5 hours. Part of this is just pure laziness because she never took to a bottle and breastfeeding directly from the source was easiest. Part of it was, well, I don't really know. Just feeling like I should and could do it all at all times.

Thing is, being home with a baby -- even a "good" and "easy" baby, which Ada has been for the most part, but has also had her little moments -- is exhausting. Add to that the other stuff I do, and there's little time for me to be just me. I can't afford any type of arranged childcare, so my parents have been generous enough to offer to watch Ada a few hours a couple days a week.

I'm hoping to use this time to clean or finish work. Tie up loose ends. To stop splitting myself into a million Ashleys.


#: Relax for 1 hour a day. And if I get more time to complete tasks with undivided attention, I think I might be more efficient at getting those tasks done. Crossing things off my list versus carrying them over to the next day. Of course, this all means . . . some more time for me to just BE in the moment.

Already I feel like an hour sounds too indulgent. Like I don't deserve that much time.

Stephen gave me a 1-month gym membership he won at a race almost a year ago. I still haven't cashed it in. Now, at the moment, the only real me-time I get is running for half an hour to an hour each day. This gym has a pool and hot tub. I don't plan to break a sweat there unless it's from the water being too hot as I sit there reading a book.


I'll get to more food and exercise-related stuff soon. There's plenty of that, but I think these goals are enough work for today. I hope to stop feeling like this crazy messed-up potato head and more like a better balanced, centered, and productive version of myself.

Time will tell.

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New Leaf: Update

I've been quiet about the whole New Leaf plan. Adjusting to the time change combined with teething issues has left me a bit ragged and without time to myself (less-than-stellar napping). It's still going strong, though, and I hope if you were embarking on your own that things are well.

 Today started with a great breakfast:

You guys and gals have been telling me for years that I need to eat more vegetarian sources of protein to help starve off sugar cravings. And you were right. When I make an effort to include a dose of protein with every meal, and not just peanut butter and cheese, I feel like my energy stays stable and I'm not hitting highs and lows with hunger/cravings.

I plan to make myself a smoothie shortly. I've enjoyed breaking my breakfast into two smaller meals for several reasons. I pick at the eggs and toast as I feed Ada her meal (she eats the same, just with her egg scrambled). Then after I complete my work for the day, I suck down some fruits/veggies in smoothie form.

I'll be back this afternoon with a couple new goals. For now, I'm off to get a start on one of them, which includes some sorting, folding, and scrubbing. We're blessed with a gorgeous sunny day today, so I am hoping to get outdoors for a bit -- even in the cold!

Have you been trying to stick with new, healthy habits? What are your motivators? Tricks? Etc.? Tell me about them!

More New Leaf posts:

The Plan
First Morning
Plus Sign: What I'm Adding
It's a Good, Good Morning
Weekends Off?

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Moonshine Kingdom

Nothing much to report from this morning. I'm finishing up some storm preparations, as I just wrote on Writing Chapter Three. This weekend went well eating-wise. Though, I did find myself in possession of a couple frosted sugar cookies from Wegmans. (Note the passive voice.)

In an appropriate Halloween theme, of course.

This weekend marked the Zombie Run, but due to the storm, I think most people were out scrambling around to get water and supplies. (Not-so funny story: All the stores are out of water.) Only a few of us showed up compared to a couple years ago. So, we went out for coffee brains instead.

At least I got a few photos. I don't think Ada knew what to think when mommy had all that strange makeup on. I'm still washing it off my forehead, too.


Weekend highlight: I made the most delicious batch of Pumpkin Garlic Knots (and replaced the agave with maple syrup -- you may also use honey). We ate them Friday night and we f.i.n.a.l.l.y watched Moonrise Kingdom. Delete. I did it AGAIN! I keep accidentally calling it MoonSHINE Kingdom.

That would be another kind of movie entirely, wouldn't it?


Of all the recipes on this blog, the pumpkin garlic knots are -- by FAR -- my favorite. Also one of the easiest. And I make them year-round, even when the pumpkin supply is relegated to the bottom shelf in the most obscure corner of the grocery store.

Which has me thinking: Right now we mostly have winter squashes waiting to be roasted, dough waiting to be baked into bread, and eggs that need to be fried before consuming. We have some packets of baby food for Ada and some raw fruits and veggies for us, but very little else that can just be eaten as-is.

When the weather gets rough, do you have a stash of emergency foods? I need to add this to my last-minute list. Oh, and I need to get this load of funky diapers into the wash ASAP, too. I wouldn't want to be stuck with them any longer than necessary.

More soon!

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Weekends Off?

Another day. Another early start. Another morning walk. Another healthy breakfast. Zero time online last night from 6 pm till bedtime. So far, keeping up with my goals is working well. Now I'm facing the weekend.

Oh, to be 1993 again.

Every time I've gotten into healthy eating habits in the past, I've followed a "weekends off" approach where I basically stuff myself on everything sweet, cheesy, bready on Friday night through Sunday. I then resume healthy eating bright and early Monday morning.

I make it sound awful, but really -- it kept me relatively on track because I didn't seriously gorge myself, but I would definitely indulge enough to feel satisfied. I didn't make up this approach myself. I learned it a long while ago in one of my favorite healthy eating books, The Weekends Off Diet (the book is I am apparently so old, it's no longer in print).


I'm thinking this time around, though, I may try to stick it out and continue eating sensibly all seven days of the week. This means none of this "good" or "bad" day stuff, but -- instead -- filling my belly with more greens, proteins, etc., so maybe I'll have room for only 2 huge slices of pizza instead of 4 for dinner.

However, if those pieces of pizza are homemade and piled high with veggies, avocado, etc., maybe 4 pieces as a meal isn't so bad after all.

Do you practice a weekends-off? Even if you don't set out to, do you tend to indulge more on weekends anyway?


GOAL #4: Roll with it. I used to be much better at accepting unpredictability. Like in college. I'd cruise through my days and take what came at me -- and often that led to good opportunities. I got everything done but had fun at random intervals in between.

When I started working my offices jobs (and I had many different ones), I became a slave to my Outlook Calendar. Over time, I grew to love those little reminders. I'd enjoy chunking -- yeah, chunking --  out my day and getting certain tasks done.

Tuesday mornings were for catching up on my inbox, for example. I had a meeting every Thursday afternoon from 2 till 4. And that routinized approach continued when I left the office. Come home. Go for a run. Cook dinner. Relax. Sleep 8 hours. Wake. Breakfast. Etc.


These days, being at home with a baby means a loose structure for multiple reasons I've already listed way too many times. Working from home, too, isn't exactly a 9 to 5 sort of deal. But I'm still craving that chunking of my time. Knowing what to expect and not having interruptions.

Yeah. That won't happen again for a while. It's been a major source of frustration for me and even leads in anger in extreme cases. Certainly I need to address this. So, I know I can't change my personality, but I can change how I'm dealing with situations and try to find a happy medium.

So, I don't know what exactly I'll do yet, but some of you have suggested that list-making is good. I had many, many lists when I was working, and I definitely think it would help. Even something small like "diaper laundry" that I could cross off. Blocking off certain general ranges of time for tasks could be motivating, too.

And in all of this, taking advantage of time when Stephen is home or when my parents can watch Ada might help me if I set a certain goal for me-time. I do get ample time to run, which is great. But I think if I had another activity outside of that, I'd feel more accomplished and fulfilled.

Wow. Sounds much sadder than it actually is. I've come to understand that sometimes my words paint a darker picture than reality. Transition this year has been a challenge, but not necessarily a bad one.

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Rave Run

It's been rainy the last two days. I don't love running in the rain, but I don't hate it either. I deal. My recovery from the half marathon (recap tomorrow) has been slow. I've run an easy 3 and now 4, but don't plan on pushing daily mileage higher than that until next week.

Our neighborhood is residential with a mix of some smaller city-ish streets toward downtown. The city is trying to finish final repairs before the weather gets chilly, so a lot of the scenery looks like this right now.

Sometimes, though, I like to pretend that I live where there are tons of parks and trails. I head to this cemetery about a mile from our house. The loop is around a mile with a mix of pavement, dirt, and cinders. I sometimes do the loop a few times if I need a break from traffic and ugly buildings.

I'm not one to take photos during races or workouts, but today, I just had to. The leaves are falling like crazy, and I know they'll be gone before I have time to fully appreciate them. I did my first loop and then jogged home to get my phone.

I guess this is my rave run.


For dinner, we had stuffed peppers and brown ale. These four are just my portion -- and we still have leftover filling! I always make way too much. Hopefully Ada will enjoy it for lunch tomorrow.

Also, I need to start using my DSLR again. The iPhone is appealing, but these photos are awful. Sorry!


In accordance with my new less-is-better internet goal, I'm going to sign off and spend some quality time with Stephen. And maybe eat some more leftover Spelt Cornbread!

'Night, all!

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Spelt Cornbread

Guess who got a walk in yet again this morning!

We went a bit farther than yesterday, too. It feels so amazing to start in the day this way. We recently stopped Ada's 11 PM feed, and I'll write more about it on Writing Chapter Three later today. I'm just hoping her good sleep habits keep on going despite the change. This productivity kick has my mood way improved.

We ate dinosaur kale chips, chipotle tofu "steaks", and spelt cornbread for dinner last night. I'm having my usual eggs and some cornbread again for breakfast, and I'll have another green smoothie for a morning snack.


I vary my diet for obvious reasons, but if there are leftovers I like -- and there are few leftovers I actually enjoy -- I tend to gobble them up. This is the first cornbread recipe I've developed that doesn't have sugar or maple syrup in it. The flavor of the coconut oil and water gives it a light sweetness. However, you may also replace these ingredients with olive oil and plain water.

SPELT CORNBREAD

What you'll need . . .

• 2 cups polenta/corn grits
• 1-1/2 cups spelt flour
• 1 tablespoon baking powder
• Pinch salt
• 1/3 cup virgin coconut oil
• 1 cup coconut water
• 1 cup warm water
• 1 can corn kernels, drained and rinsed well (optional)

Method . . . 

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F. Spritz a 9 x 13 pan (I used a glass dish) with olive oil.
2. Whisk together the corn grits, spelt flour, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.
3. Melt the coconut oil in the microwave. Then add it to the warm water and coconut water. You need to make sure the water mixture is warm -- I learned the hard way that the coconut oil hardens on contact with cold.
4. Then pour the wet mixture into the dry and mix until well combined. 
5. Fold in the corn kernels and then spread into your baking pan.
6. Bake for 30 minutes, then check the center. It will likely still be gooey. Bake for another 5 minutes and possibly another couple after that, depending on your oven. Bread is done when center is set, but still moist.

GOAL #3: To spin off last night's topic of negative versus positive, I'm trying now to stay positive in all areas, even those I didn't previously expect were getting me down. This includes focusing on the people, places, and things in my life that most matter and letting go of negative connections and influences.

It's a big goal, and something I'll probably write more about eventually.

Strangely enough, many of these mood suckers are related to the time I spend online. Whether it's rolling my eyes at random Facebook status updates, Googling medical issues (remember when the doctor said Ada's head is too big? Yeah. No good.), or stressing because I've let my inbox overflow beyond manageable. Computers are great, but they sure do complicate life.

I'm hoping to cull the loop of websites I visit on a daily basis and limit time online in general. Sitting in a dark corner at 9 PM and mindlessly surfing isn't benefiting me any -- even if I am reading news or useful information. We have an entire bookshelf teeming with books. I have a sewing machine that gets little use. I have a birthday party to plan.

I'd rather be productive with my time. You know, actually MAKE things instead of just pinning them on Pinterest. (Though I can't see cutting out Pinterest!) We'll see how it goes!

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Plus Sign: What I'm Adding

When I'm examining my diet (and life, in general), it isn't always so much about what I need to stop eating or doing. Instead, what I need to add is more of a focus for me. Anyway, I already eat lots of fruit, healthy whole grains, and dairy products.

I've been eating many other things -- mostly from the fats and sugars category -- too.

Cough. Cough.

So, even if I continue eating all the sugar, which I haven't so far -- yay!, greens (and protein, but I'll write about that another day) is what I've needed to add. Sure, I'm trying to tackle my sugar addiction, but rather than dwell on my countless failures, I'd rather think on the positive side.

The easiest way to add greens? Smoothies, of course!


Green smoothies are nothing new. I first learned about the whole concept on Angela's site years and years ago. Since then, I've had many for breakfast and snacks I've even come up with some of my own favorite recipes.

To make this one, blend together the following ingredients:

• 1 cup (or giant fistful) spinach 
• 1 cup frozen pineapple 
• 1 small, ripe banana 
• 1 cup coconut water
• 4 oz plain low-fat yogurt (I used peach because that's all we had -- baby yogurt!) 

* Feel free to play around with the amounts to make the smoothie consistency to your specific liking. I prefer it a bit thinner than I take pure fruit smoothies.

I'm resisting writing another goal for myself today. I think one is enough to try and incorporate into my life. To recap: I'm trying my best to eat breakfast earlier each day and focus on protein versus carbs. In addition, I'm reexamining my schedule to alleviate some of the work/home multitasking that comes with working from my living room and being a SAHM.

Basic. Simple. And I'm hoping that means sustainable.

Here's to another good day! I'd love to hear how your own adventures are going. Have you set any goals for yourself? How do you plan to stick with them in the long run?

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It's a Good Morning

I woke up at 7 AM today, which is earlier than normal (I try to sleep as long as Ada will allow me to!), but I used that time wisely and got a good chunk of my work done -- uninterrupted. I also got in a bit of early breakfast (I guess you could call it part 1), some eggs and detox tea.

Yes. Detox tea. Though this plan isn't a detox, I imagine tea can't hurt anything.

When Ada woke up, it was immediately clear that she's teething. She's being very clingy and unhappy. Drooling like crazy. So, despite my attempts to play with her, I decided the best thing to do was swoop her up and take a walk around the neighborhood.

It's chilly and rainy, but a short mile was just what she and I needed.


I'll round out breakfast after I post with oatmeal or a grain of some sort mixed with unsweetened applesauce and some strawberries. I'm also planning to "snack" on a green smoothie before lunch to get in greens.

Speaking of mid-day meals, I'll be eating this hefty bowl of leftover miso stew from last night's dinner. And definitely a few more Chocolate-PB Energy Balls.


I loosely followed this recipe, but made the following modifications.

• Low sodium vegetable stock in place of water
• Peas in place of broccoli
• Juice of half a lemon versus ginger (I didn't have any)
• Added 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper for heat
• Omitted cilantro
• Omitted rice vinegar
• Increased the volume of everything a bit to yield more stew

GOAL #2: I'd like to experiment with new structure(s) for my day. Getting some work done before Ada woke up was a huge help. (I didn't think I could because much of what I do is posted in a time frame that works better for the west coast.) I don't feel as rushed or split with my attention for any of my responsibilities today.

This meant time for taking a short morning walk outdoors. I take lots of walks, but starting the morning off this way is the best. Fresh air is going to become increasingly more important as we head into the winter months. Also, I think one reason I've been eating poorly and feeling stressed has to do with feeling overstretched. I need to reevaluate the way I'm spending my time.

Right now, Ada's napping and I'm not furiously trying to finish up anything with a deadline. I get a breather or some time to actually cook, clean, pay bills, etc. That sounds rather old-fashioned, but part of staying home is keeping the house running smoothly. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed of that. After years of chaos, it's a nice change.

In short: I've always prided myself on my ability to multitask, but there's a calm in being able to focus on single things, even if it's only from time to time.

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Chocolate-PB Energy Balls

After a good morning, my day got even better. My parents offered to watch Ada this afternoon so I could go grocery shopping alone. It was glorious. I'm sorry to say I didn't exactly stick to our usual budget. We've been running low of staples for a while now, so I decided to get them all in one big shop.

Our refrigerator is stuffed to the gills with what I'm hoping is enough food for two weeks.

Since I had a late breakfast, I also had a late-ish lunch, which wasn't anything remarkable: A large sweet potato stuffed with a black bean-veggie mix and a bit of cheese broiled on top. I'll post a recipe later in the week because I plan to have it again.

I like to eat snacks throughout the day, too.  I'll admit, though, that lately that snack has either been Goldfish or Reese's peanut butter pumpkins. Plural. I don't mind indulging, but my habit was getting ridiculous.

So, I wanted to try and get my fix in a slightly healthier way. I'm a huge fan of homemade energy chunks. Done!


CHOCOLATE-PEANUT BUTTER ENERGY BALLS

Toss the following ingredients into your food processor:

• 1 cup rolled oats (uncooked)
• 1/2 cup natural no-stir peanut butter
• 1/4 to 1/3 cup pure maple syrup
• 1/4 to 1/2 cup dried cranberries
• 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

Method . . . 

1. Pulse all ingredients until they form into a thick batter/ball. 
2. You may adjust the consistency by adding more maple syrup, but start with just 1/4 cup and go from there. 
3. Then scoop out balls using a tablespoon measure. 
4. Roll in the palm of your hand. Store in the refrigerator in an air-tight container for up to 2 weeks.

These may just be a cookie in disguise. Something I made to seem healthy, but really isn't. I don't know. At least the ingredients are simple and the sugars can be more easily digested/processed by my body. Now I just need to stay away from the candy aisles until after Halloween.

I'm so glad that some of you have decided to join me in making your own strides toward health and happiness in a new way. I find that the first two days are usually pretty easy for me. It's sticking with it that's the hard part.

A miso stew is on tap for dinner. I'm also hoping to get in a solo walk of 3 miles or so later this afternoon. Maybe even a few sun salutations if I'm feeling particularly inspired. My legs are definitely feeling the race, so whatever I do will be easy. And beyond all things food and exercise, I'd like to organize our mail tonight. It's been hanging over my head for a few weeks now.

Have a lovely evening. And if you'd like to read a bit about our weekend, check out Writing Chapter Three.

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New Leaf: First Morning

In the spirit of my New Leaf plan, I thought I'd do less formal blog posting this week. Sort of an up-to-the minute report of what I'm eating or doing, etc. We'll see if that works out with my schedule, but it's what I'd like to do. I think it might help me stay on track.

For example, all I have to say right now is that Monday is going well. I woke up and drank a large mug of White Tea.

I am super sore from yesterday's half marathon (recap soon -- Stephen came in 3rd overall!), which included over 800 feet of climbing. I've often read that white tea is anti-inflammatory. Hoping it helps me both inside and out.

Then I got in a late breakfast. Starting with eggs.


Two of them from our lovely farm (you may remember that we visited and even met these chickens not terribly long ago). Over easy and slathered in hot sauce.

Served with quinoa and broccoli.


GOAL #1: Find time to make breakfast each day. OK. I already DO that, but I want to make it earlier so it isn't after 10 AM. Between getting my work done and taking care of Ada, I usually don't eat until at least 10 AM when she goes down for a nap. If I make it the night before or do something simple like frying eggs, it should be easier.

This point has been a major downfall with my eating. Like if I had to name one thing that was my biggest problem, breakfast would be it. I'm still learning the at-home mom with a part-time job balance. I'd grab some bread or even a cookie, and it would start my day off on a bad note. Already I've noticed my head feels clearer having put emphasis on protein so early in the day.

And I'd like to elaborate more on why this plan isn't a detox. You'll see that I am eating very detox-y foods. However, I don't want to cut out all bread, sugar, dairy, etc. I am hoping instead to incorporate more plant-based meals to refocus my attention on veggies, protein, and a wider variety of carbs. You know. Stuff besides delicious, crusty breads.

It's trial and error.

I find when I go all or nothing with anything in my life -- especially diet -- I set myself up for failure, both mentally/emotionally and physically. I am considering racing running another half marathon in two weeks, so I need to eat a good mix of proteins, carbs, fats, fruits, and veggies. But hopefully less carbs and fats than I have been, since I've been relying on them almost entirely.

What healthy decisions have you made already this morning?

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